One topic that has vexed our group lately is the topic of holiday plans. Specifically the 4th of July, obviously, since that is right around the corner. Unlike some holidays that fall on a Monday by default, we all know the 4th flops around the work week like some retarded fish out of water. Looking at the calendar weeks ago I knew that with the Leap Year, Independence Day would fall on a Friday.
Okay, gentle reader, you may be thinking "Hey prick, what's wrong with a long weekend? Why do you hate America?" My response to that strawman(apart from calling you all effete pansy assholes) is from the stalwart drinker POV: Everything.
First, every cop and his supervisor will be out looking for drunks. Not only on the roads, but nearly everywhere people are having a good time. If there is statistical data that proves that more people get plastered on New Years, Memorial Day, etc...then I would like to parse those numbers. In short, the best supposed special occasions for tying one on also appear to be the times when "the man" wants to regulate said fun the most. While I certainly don't condone reckless behavior(shut the fuck up) and can understand the need for controls in a civilized society I also adhere to the spirit of "Quis custodiet ipsos custodes" I mean it is quite hilarious to see all these stern commercials from the THP regarding their traffic enforcement efforts. I am surprised they can find the time, what with all the roadside blowjobs and scandal du jour.
Secondly, not quite a month ago it seems as if every asshole on the planet started asking every other asshole what they were doing for the 4th. It's been completely beaten to death, ergo I am over this weekend before it even gets here. John Adams once posited that our Independence Day should be forever marked by celebrations and gatherings for perpetuity, so I will do my patriotic duty...but man, I wish people would just chill out and let things happen. I guarantee a good time will be had by all, and no odious overzealous planning will help that.
Take a breath folks, relax, and enjoy the extra day off. Reflect on what price was paid by brave men and women. Our leisure should be just that-not toil or work. Funny how we today tend to make light of honest labor, and seek to muddy our fun with rules and schedules.