Drinking Knoxville

Fine. It's Whiskey Season

2012-01-14T16:22:00.001-05:00

No, Anonymous commenter #10, don't shove us over just yet.

It's Whiskey Season MFs. I drank right through Wine Sesaon and the holidays without much brown liquor at all. Sure there were a few highballs and shots of Jameson, but now it's time to make up for lost ground. And if someone makes good on their boast of Maker's Mark for the NFL playoffs this weekend we should get back on track just fine.

Andiamo alla taverna.

Wine Season

2011-11-15T18:16:00.000-05:00

Just in case you haven't noticed, it's officially wine season.

Halloween 2011

2011-10-28T15:09:00.000-04:00

(Halloween news freshly copied and pasted here FYI)

Downtown Wine + Spirits
Costumes Welcome

Get your weekend started right at our free tasting this Friday from 5:30 - 7:30. We'll be sampling the De Loach Pinot Noir. This outstanding value is naturally farmed and has great flavors of ripe raspberry with subtle herbal aromas. The Evodia Grenache is fruit foward and juicy with ripe blueberry aromas. Finally the Herrick Red is a Napa Valley meritage blend that's fleshy with ripe plum and cherry aromas. It's free and it's fun, bring a friend.

If you're looking for spirits this Halloween we've got them, got some great wines too!/ Ranger IPA dressed up in a can for Halloween - yes they're (finally) back/ Drinking tequila makes some people pretty scary - Espolon Reposado on sale/ Adult treats - Mouton Cadet Red & White/ BOO!

Rooster’s

Rooster's Halloween Party is this Friday night, October 27th at 10 PM. There will be $2 Witches Brew, $2 Bud Light Cans, some seriously crazy games, and a costume contest that features three categories (most creative, sexiest, and best duo or group). Winners will receive a $50 Roosters gift card and some amazing prizes from our prize closet. Oh, and did I mention that there would be music, the Bud Light Girls, and a FREE PIZZA BUFFET at 1 AM!? Be sure to make plans to join us and don't forget your costume!

Rooster's Bar and Grill

Phone: 865-691-3938

Email: roostersrocks@gmail.com

The Roaming Gnome

Happy Haunting Gnomies! Our Annual Dudes N Dolls Halloween Bash is here and we just wanted to let everygnome know we have Halloween Parties happening at all three of our locations from Friday October 28th on until Monday October 31st on Halloween! Whether it be a DJ, Live Band, we've got you covered! Specials, Costume Contest, Prizes, Promos, Trivia, we've got it all! Log onto http://www.gnomepub.com/ to check out what's going on this weekend at The Roaming Gnome Pub & Eatery! This weekend is going to be spoooooooooktacular!! – The Roaming Gnome Pub & Eatery. 2010 All Rights Reserved.

2011 Brewers Jam

2011-10-24T17:55:00.000-04:00

Yes, I ended up going after all. There's nothing like a last minute ticket to an event that you really wanted to go to but thought that you couldn't. Actually I got the good news the night before and celebrated by drinking way too much and making an ass of myself. Saturday was filled with text messages and verbal accounts of my erratic, drunken behavior: stumbling, rambling to strangers, shouting, unjustified prick point assessments, questionable random hookup, calling people by the wrong name, ditching a bar buddy - you get the idea.

Saturday's hangover wasn't too bad and I slept most of it off by noon. The first order of business was retrieving my ride, left downtown overnight. By the time I returned home the line for KBJ was moving and I went inside about an hour later. The weather this year was perfect, sunny and around 70. It was unusual to pace myself, knowing I had an obligation that evening, but I managed 4-5 samples and a bbq sandwich from Sweet P's that satisfied my cravings. I talked to a few friends, visited a few displays, then got the hell out of there before I lost my discipline.

Thanks to Tag for the extra pass, cheers!

The Quarry Grand Opening

2011-10-21T15:09:00.000-04:00

Marble City Brewing Company's new event venue, The Quarry, hosts a grand opening Friday, November 21 at 708 E. Depot Avenue in the Old City.

Serving beer and brats from 4 PM til...who knows? The place looks pretty cool and probably holds around 50 people or so. They will be at Brewers Jam on Saturday too. Cheers!

Downtown Wine + Spirits FREE Tasting 10/28/11. 2011 Knoxville Brewers Jam

2011-10-20T17:59:00.000-04:00

I had to repost this email for DTWS. Sure, it's another lazy post, copied and pasted straigt from an email. So what. It's about booze, no, FREE booze, and it has profanity - two of my favorite things. I took liberty with their PC-friendly censoring and spelled out what they really wanted to say, you're welcome. Plus I just wanted a reason to include a picture of Mr. Popcorn Sutton for some street cred. Look, he hates you!

I've made unfulfilled promises about getting back to a regular schedule, or at least semi-frequent blog entries, but work has been keeping me down and it just hasn't happened. Only a few readers have noticed so it's not like there are death treats coming my way. Anyway I may have some updates forthcoming. Maybe. Here, I'll even set a tentative list of possible reviews/visits the rest of the year:

Boyd's Jig & Reel
Darwin's Den
The Casual Pint
and maybe a follow up the the half-assed Public House Pub snippet which was basically an excuse to post an image of a naked lady behind the bar

One more thing: Brewers Jam 2011 is this weekend, Saturday 10/22/11. It sold out again and I will not be going for reasons better left unmentioned. Enjoy drunkards!

And check out the folks at DTWS next time you're downtown!

Popcorn Says ~~F*** You~~ (Fuck You)

Popcorn Sutton was a legendary moonshiner who achieved folk hero status from various profiles in print and documentaries including some highly entertaining (albeit not intended for general audiences) interviews with Johnny Knoxville. His homemade elixers are still considered among the best, provoking wistful memories from those fortunate enough to have sampled his craftmanship. Tragically he took his own life rather than serve out the sentence he was charged for illicit distilling. His "spirit" lives on however thanks to his authentic recipe being passed on to an apprentice and now reproduced for all to enjoy. This white whiskey is remarkably elegant and complex, perfect for sipping straight. Join us Friday evening here at our free tasting from 5:30 to 7:30 to sample a little of Popcorn's "likker". Wear your overalls.

Soccer Taco Market Square Expanding

2011-08-26T11:49:00.000-04:00

(via Market Square District Association)

Soccer Taco will soon open a chic and contemporary bar in the basement of its Market Square location.

"La Cueva del Chango" (translation: the monkey cave) will combine a lively urban atmosphere with a creative menu and cocktail list. Featuring antojitos - Mexican small plates - ceviches and tacos, plus unique margaritas and an extensive selection of tequilas, La Cueva del Chango is sure to become Knoxville's next greatest Hot Spot.

Not to worry, your Soccer Taco classics are still available upstairs! Sip on a famous margarita and dig into your favorite burrito or chimichanga while watching Big Orange Football on one of 13 flat-screen satellite televisions. Or simply relax on the outdoor patio with a bowl of fresh guacamole and a beer. It's no coincidence that Soccer Taco has won awards from three separate media outlets in Knoxville and East Tennessee (including the Metro Pulse Best of Knoxville) for Best Mexican Restaurant and Best Margarita. Take advantage of "The Best" with fabulous Happy Hour Specials Monday - Thursday from 12 until 7pm including $3 Margaritas on the Rocks and $3.50 Frozen Margaritas. Happy Hour Draught and Bottled Beer Specials, too!

Open until 1am Fridays & Saturdays
9 Market Square, Suite 101

Fucking Dutch

2011-08-24T13:02:00.015-04:00

Ran across this abomination recently in FL. Pathetic. C'mon, you're better than this Netherlands.

Niceley's Tavern

2011-08-22T21:54:00.000-04:00

It's been a few weeks since I found the blog entry about Niceley's Tavern and the infamous burger service, or lack of service, but our cadre of drunkards went for a taste of our own and conducted hands on research. Hands on a lot of Woodruff IPA and burgers - ho ho!

The night went pretty well, much better than the service described by the aforementioned blogger. We went fairly early on a Friday night and there was a good gathering of folks - not crowded but far from empty. Old habits die hard so we went upstairs and had the place to ourselves for a while before the dinner crowd spilled in. Six patrons, five burgers (three half-pounders) and lots of beer were not a problem for our attentive waitress. The place is still a work in progress for sure, but the food and drinks were our main objectives and we didn't leave disappointed. IPA has its own way of making things special, but the burgers held their own and there wasn't a complaint among us, which is not easy with our drunk asses.

The oblong, football shaped bun was unique but sturdy to the task of big, juicy patties and cheesy goodness. The flavor of the meat was delicious and paired well with my toppings of onions and mushrooms. And the hand cut fries were also K.A. I'll admit the menu is very limited but honestly I appreciate a place sticking to doing what it knows best and not cluttering up the menu with a bunch of prepackaged crap.

Niceley's Tavern is now on my rotation of campus bars when I want a good burger and beer. The IPA makes this an easier choice. Niceley done...

One of These Beers...

2011-08-02T20:56:00.002-04:00

I will win the lottery and quit my job
I will finish that thing
I will go to Niceley's near the strip for a burger and beer
Or will I?

That's all I've got. Honestly I was going to post some kind of list about drinking and a lame apology about being too busy to blog and hope to skate by for a while longer. Then I stumbled when spelling Niceley's, the second e gets me, but a quick Google search revealed a local blog that warned "Never go to..." and I got hooked. It sounded like it would be a very dramatic story but was basically your typical shitty service experience, which does suck. As ususal, the commenters keep fanning the flame.

Finally another blogger willing to bitch and complain once in a while.

Edit: More

Quote Overheard

2011-07-02T15:50:00.000-04:00

"...if you'd spend less time trying to be hip and more time slinging drinks maybe you'd make some tips."

-KRTI 7/1/11 at Sapphire

More Beer Please

2011-07-02T11:07:00.001-04:00

Regal Riviera 8 located downtown Knoxville has applied for a beer permit, soon to join Downtown West as local movie theatres offering beer at the movies. I'm all for it though I'm not sure if it will change my movie going experience very much. Certainly it will be a good option but logically it doesn't appeal to me as my first choice. If an alcoholic drink is desired I prefer to have a whiskey or wine and go easy on the bladder, even though my unique special training would probably allow me to make it through a 2 hour movie without much trouble.

Enjoy Knoxville.

Knoxville Brewfest

2011-06-24T17:30:00.000-04:00

The inaugural Knoxville Brewfest has SOLD OUT. All signs lean toward a successful event and another beer drinking festival. Or is it a tasting festival? I suppose everyone will decide for themselves. I will not be in attendance so I'll have to rely on feedback from friends to let me know how it was. Please feel free to leave comments.

Apparently not everyone in town is pleased with the addition of another Brew event, according to KnoxNews.com. And I must say that I have to side with Woodruff Brewing Company on this one, they were snubbed without cause. Not having one of our local brewers as a participant just because they're part of another, similar event doesn't make sense. But I think the organizers realize this and will make the right call next year and everything will be fine. At least I hope so.

Good luck Knoxville Brewfest! Maybe I'll see you next year...

Downtown Wine + Spirits FREE Tastings

2011-06-24T10:45:00.000-04:00

Good new from Downtown Wine + Spirits: Free wine tasting, sort of.

According to their newsletter a new law now allows sampling events on site so you can try before you buy. This is pretty cool and makes perfect sense. If you haven't signed up for thier newsletter yet, you should. The weekly specials offer a variety of spirits or wine to choose from and they're often pretty good deals. I'm guessing other package stores will be offering similar events from now on so I say it's a win-win for everybody.

From DTWS newsletter:

Try Before You Buy

Fact: everyone loves free samples. Now thanks to a change in Tennessee's laws we can have in-store tastings. Like shoes, bikes, and used cars, you can now try out some wine before you purchase it. Stop by this Friday from 5 - 7 to try out a nice viognier from the Rhone region, a dry rose from Ventoux, and a juicy California red blend. We will have cheese and assorted goodies on hand to complement the libations, so come in and do a little sipping.

Free Tasting Friday 5 - 7pm

Keg of Lies

2011-06-21T20:50:00.000-04:00

I blame you, Atlas, for it was you who invited us over for beer at the pool last weekend. You tried to caution us that the keg would be dry at any moment. You suggested that we bring extra beer as a “backup” just to be safe. You lifted the keg numerous times to gauge its contents. We each had a bottled beer as we arrived that day, fully assuming that we’d be drinking it later. You were amazed that it didn’t blow pouring the first round of beers, then on the second round, and on to the third and fourth, and so on until we lost count. The night grew later and later yet the keg did not yield. Juan Moore won that battle. There were many lies poured that day. The only thing that came close to this farce was the never ending bottle of Powers.

VeeV Acai Spirit

2011-06-18T11:49:00.000-04:00

About VeeV:

VeeV Açaí Spirit is the world’s first Acai spirit and the first eco-friendly spirits brand in North America. Grown and harvested in the Brazilian Rainforest, this Brazilian national fruit, is considered to be the world’s preeminent superfruit. To help ensure the sustainability of Acai and protect the Brazilian Amazon Rainforest, VeeV donates $1 per bottle sold to Sambazon’s Sustainable Acai Project.

Quentin Tarantino

2011-06-08T00:40:00.000-04:00

Yes, that Quentin Tarantino. He was walking down Gay St. minding his own business when we noticed that a guy walking down the street looked just like him. It was. He kept walking and disappeared down the street. About 15 minutes later he was sitting at a DGB patio table with folks and carrying on a lively conversation.

Our group maintained some control and didn't run over for pictures, autographs, etc. - though it was slightly tempting. For a fortunate guy who happened to be wearing a Reservoir Dogs t-shirt, Fate demanded an audience with the writer and director, and he was rewarded with a signature across the front. Very cool.

Ms. Owl at Spicy's

2011-06-06T16:14:00.000-04:00

Our server at Spicy's had this cool tattoo and was nice enough to share it with us. Owls everywhere!! Hadn't been there in forever and it was good as usual - lava wings and cold beer. Sign me up!

Hippies Unite

2011-06-02T18:30:00.000-04:00

It's time for the annual Fleta Fest and the weather couldn't be better for a trip to River John's Island. Pack your camping gear, load a cooler and get out there in the heat for some good music and good times.

Fish man, fish

2011-05-29T13:18:00.000-04:00

This is how I spent the holiday weekend - cooking, frying and eating a bunch of food. Catfish, chicken, shrimp, low country boil, pork shoulder, etc. Yeah, lots of delicious food. The downside - lack of booze. That's what happens when you visit family who no longer partakes of the nectar. Oh well, doesn't stop a person from sneaking in some of that beer and having some cold ones on the sly. I feel like I'm underage again.

Scooped by the Scope

2011-05-18T11:35:00.000-04:00

The Property Scope blog has scooped two pretty significant drink-related stories that impact our area. One is about a legendary local bar & restaurant and the other is about the possibility of a brewery coming to Alcoa.

Old College Inn recently relocated to the old Chili’s location on the Cumberland Avenue strip. Now the bank has said “not so fast” and negotiated to retain the OCI name with the old property. This has been a touchy subject with many people since the move was announced and now it appears things will go back to the way they were. Or will they? The new name of the restaurant is Goal Post Tavern but the article says the menu is virtually the same. So if someone buys and reopens a new OCI in the old location will they have rights to the English Burger or Turkey Brown? This story may not be over yet.

Sierra Nevada may be opening a distribution center in Alcoa if things go well. I say bring ‘em on. Their pale ale has been a longtime favorite but their porter ain’t so bad either. I’m not sure what impact they’ll make to our local drinking scene but it can’t hurt anything. I doubt prices would go down. Maybe they would sponsor more events and go out of their way to increase visibility. Regardless I think it would be cool to have them here and I hope it works out.

Props to The Scope for these drink updates!

5 Mayo

2011-05-05T21:19:00.000-04:00

Cinco de Mayo
1862 Battle
For Margaritas

Last Minute Rossini

2011-04-08T16:59:00.000-04:00

I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for over a month, yet I haven’t had time to compose a simple two minute blog entry to support Knoxville’s favorite street fair. Damn work, damn it to hell.

We talk about the same things each year: drinking in the streets, eating Italian sausages in the streets, going from bar to bar, causing a scene in the streets, and more drinking throughout the night. Guess what, it will be the same again this year. Sure, we’ll check out the vendors, we’ll run into friends we haven’t seen in a while, and possibly watch the live performances, but make no mistake – we’re there to drink and have a good time.

The weather forecast is 50-50 for rain. Big deal. I’ve been there on rainy days, scorching hot days and wintery cold-as-a-mf days. The weather hasn’t impacted my enjoyment one bit. Having the trifecta by mid-afternoon will make any occasion a good time. Cheers to another fun day downtown Knoxville!

Drunken Jukebox 7

2011-03-30T11:20:00.000-04:00

Behold the Drunken Jukebox: Music to Motivate Your Liver. A little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll, punk, rap, hip hop and pop crap, old or new– all musical genres and periods are open for exploitation. Quarters and crisp dollar bills not required.

Fine. Inspired by a recent visit to the Shamrock Lounge and LVL’s reminder of KISS bar stools I present this vintage favorite.

This classic footage shows KISS at their finest: the makeup, pyrotechnics, staged choreography and good old rock & roll. Paul Stanley’s lead in about booze and partying is pretty damn cool. Now, I love a good G & T as much as anybody but admit I’ve never been one to drink shots of gin or straight from the bottle. Ok, a few times but nothing regular. Looking back I remember the good old days of working in the liquor store and “regulars” who would come in for the ½ pints of chilled booze, gin included. I haven’t made it that far in life to be considered a regular at a liquor store but I suppose there is time for that. Enjoy the video drunkards.

Well it was their best album...

2011-03-27T23:46:00.003-04:00

Now imagine about twenty of these sumbitches. For some reason The Shamrock Lounge was replete with them. Awesome barstools.

SANDWICH ACCOMPLISHED

2011-03-25T15:07:00.000-04:00

It only took about 3 months but we did it - we had the best goddamned Reuben sandwich in Gatlinburg. (As far as we know because I don’t think any of us have any comparisons to go on.) Nevertheless it was a fantastic sandwich that thankfully didn’t disappoint. I don’t know how the rest of the weekend would have gone otherwise. Guns, knives and fisticuffs were possibilities.

It all started during our December trip to Gatlinburg when we saw it pictured in the window of the Hofbrauhaus Cheese Shop in the Village section of town. The timing just wasn’t right but we all agreed that we’d have to have it at some point. The anticipation started immediately. Glib days of jokes grew into weeks of derisive comments and accusations. A daytrip wouldn’t be good enough for this sandwich, so hotel rooms were booked, dates set and we waited even more. Finally one Saturday morning the time had come to accomplish this mission.

We made the drive up in separate vehicles to our hotel with separate rooms and began the day by sipping whiskey in the hotel parking lot, which was nice. We trekked through “Battle LA” to the strip and found our way to the Village. Good, the place hadn’t burned down without us knowing so we ventured inside and up the narrow stairwell to the dining area. We were the only guests. The kind lady took our order: 5 Reuben sandwiches and various beers. Only a few minutes to go until…

...they arrived. Glorious Reuben sandwiches.

The extra condiments may have been excessive but were much appreciated.

Nama Report

2011-03-16T12:04:00.000-04:00

These photos are from a couple of weeks ago and I have been delayed from posting them until now due to work overload. Briefly stated: this was awesome sushi. This chef roll creation is my new favorite, even surpassing the "soy joy" we all love so damn much. The new Nama location is worth checking out and wasn't as bad as some rumors I have heard. I sat in the bar area facing the dining room and had excellent service on a mildly busy weeknight. Unsure of what I wanted to order, the bartender suggested the chef roll which basically allows you to pick your favorite ingredients and have the chefs prepare something. My selection included yellow tail, salmon, tuna and no cucumber. It was that simple and it turned out delicious. There were some spouts, avocado and sauce that tied it all together. I drank a couple of Sweetwater IPAs, scarfed down my food and was out the door in about 30 minutes. Awesome.

I has a sad

2011-03-09T18:05:00.006-05:00

If you haven't heard by now that Old College Inn will be moving closer to the center of Cumberland Avenue, then please consider reading other blogs. Thanks.

We don't offer a lot of negative comments here regarding old favorites, particularly on The Strip since it is a markedly different place than when I fell in love with it. If I might become the proverbial old fart, I remember when the old location was revered and honored. The new home of OCI was an old house with brush all around it. Creepy at first, but you got used to it.

I'm not sure I can get used to the idea of OCI moving to the old Chilis. I understand the rationale of the owner, particularly regarding kitchen space. However, it's a risk in my layman's opinion to 'move' a household name. Fellow alums that visit Mackey and me all request -at length- to make OCI part of the visit, and it's a bar that I still frequented when I got down to Cumberland. It's a tie for many of us former students to The Strip's heyday...which we all understand now was insanely out of control. Way too sentimental I grant you. I hope they know what they are doing.

Good luck guys.

Interlude

2011-03-01T21:43:00.007-05:00

Those were drinking days, and most men drank hard.

-A Tale of Two Cities

Boy that was some shit Monday huh? If the actual shock of sitting through that solid mass of water wasn't a kick enough for the balls, the cringing at seeing so many up to their asses in that nasty mess certainly will. Once again, Mother Nature brings the heat and I'll be damned if she doesn't have one more ace up her sleeve. Of course, we recommend copious boozing to erase the taste of this event, and while you are at it lend a hand to those with damaged homes and vehicles.

So before I tell you why it's time to get back to drinking, let me first preface by saying that the good people here with the Second Harvest Food Bank got walloped and lost a good bit of supplies. Worse, there is damage to their hardware which complicates the already tenuous collection effort. I am told there is an ad hoc and improvised effort from our friends at Downtown Grill and Brewery to organize aid for Second Harvest, so if you are a local business that can help there is a good place to start. In addition, one can always donate directly at the effort's website:

http://www.secondharvestknox.com/ as well learn more about what they are facing after the waters receded.

Okay, now for some motivation. Today is Beer Day in Iceland, where Reykjavik recognized the complete folly of 75 years of prohibition and allowed beer (as we know it) to resume its rightful place in 1989. Hoist one if you need a reason to drink on a Tuesday(we do not).

Also on March 1st(or 2nd in some climes) is the commemoration of the Feast of Vesta, the ancient ritual where the hearth fire was stoked.

Not exactly the Bacchanal but it's a start and a reason to shake off the Whiskey Season and look to the future. So in that spirit, lets get ready for proper Spring drinking-St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner, as well as a needed get-the-fuck-out-of-town happy fun times.

Rumor

2011-02-16T00:21:00.004-05:00

Rumour if you are Canadian. We are told here that a new edition will be added to an existing and well-known bourbon line. This potent newcomer will be arriving to local bars as early as today. 130 proof is whispered. Get your shit together. Hmm. Where could it be? What could it be? I'll admit to being caught completely unaware. That's not so bad though when you think about it. Blee!

Much Better

2011-02-14T17:53:00.006-05:00

The weekend was quite simply, tits. Significantly better weather around our region finally allowed us to get out for a small bender/binge and we made the most of it. DK sincerely hopes that all of you managed some outdoor fun even if it was -gasp- spent sober.

Even though the South, and Knoxville in particular was spared the worst of this bitter-ass winter cockbite, let's face it this winter largely sucked. Piss poor economy + cold = meh. The Whisky Season endures of course, and private consumption of the brown was still very high but yours truly found himself finding less time for usual barhopping and much more time for drink specials and HH. With warmer weather around the corner(looking at you groundhog) we can expect to resume publican behavior and we'll let you know who and what survived the recent bleak days.

As all of you know, the first warm days of the year will cause the cabin fever to break, and our once febrile minds will entertain all sorts of high-minded ideas for a Saturday bender. Keg drinking, Maker's, and a healthy appetite for all sorts of victuals.

Yeah, that's sushi. No, we didn't drink the bourbon out of the sauce containers you assholes. Look, it was predictably a strange combination but damn if we didn't eat all of it. Perfect example of how one of these benders can go south.

So with that in mind, let me encourage you to get your warm weather boozin' together and tie one on before springtime rolls in. Hit the back yard a few times to prep for the true rite of the season: Patio Drinking.

Public House Pub

2011-02-11T18:05:00.000-05:00

More on this place later, like maybe a month or so...

Sign Post and Meter Discuss the Weather

2011-02-04T16:02:00.000-05:00

Knoxville, TN

Rain, 36 F

Sign Post: Man it’s cold out today, I wish I had a jacket or something, maybe one of those nice, dressy ones I see all the time. Hell, anything would be better than nothing. What the… “HEY! Hey, you with the hat on your head. Where’d you get that hat?”

Meter: What, this old thing? Pfft, I’ve had this at least 2-3 years.

SP: That’s nice, man. What I wouldn’t do for one of those. I’m cold!

M: Yeah, you really should put something on or you’re going to get sick. They say the flu is really nasty this year.

SP: I don’t know how to get one. Where did you get it? Did you make it yourself?

M: Nah, are you joking? I don’t have hands or fingers. My ex got it for me.

SP: What do you mean, “ex”? You had a girlfriend, how the hell does that work? I mean, you just said that you don’t have any extremities, so how do you date?

M: It was a short term thing that didn’t work out, but man it was great while it lasted. She was an artist and really wasn’t into the whole physical thing, just freaky conversations and lots of photography. Plus I think she was rich too, always putting money in my mouth. Kinky stuff.

SP: That is kinda weird, but I’d do it. I wish somebody would give me money, or anything for that matter. A hat would be nice.

M: But you don’t have a head like I do so there’s nowhere to put it.

SP: Tell me about it. Ever since they removed my sign I don’t even know know why I’m here. What’s the point of being here night and day in the cold without a sign? I’m useless…and freezing!!

M: I’m not sure that you could even wear a coat if you got one. You don’t have shoulders or arms to support it.

SP: Yes I could, I’d look good. I’d be the sexiest damn sign post ever!

M: Yeah, whatever. I’ll wait for that. Hey, here come some people, lock it up and be quite or you’ll give us away! (stands still)

SP: (stands still)

(group of 4 walks by brushing against sign post)

M: That was close. They almost heard us, I thought that girl was going to bust us. She looked back like something happened. Did you see that? Hey...

SP: What? Nothing to see here, man…

M: You nicked that chick's scarf!!

Nama - Coming Soon!

2011-02-03T11:29:00.001-05:00

Hey drunkards, I've got an unofficial opening date for Nama's new location on Gay St. next to Regal Riviera Stadium 8. Someone inside told me they were aiming for a very ambitious target date of Friday, 2/18/11. That's about 2.5 weeks away, though my source didn't seem confident that it could happen. Who knows? New restaurants, even existing ones who are expanding or relocating, often have hiccups the first few weeks for the usual variety of reasons: new staff, new equipment, new menu items - just about anything can go wrong. Hell, I say go ahead and do it. Jump right in and test the waters with everything. Sake it to us, baby!

In Which I Rail About the Weather

2011-02-01T23:37:00.003-05:00

Well you little son of a bitch, what's it going to be? Hmm? Do we get a timely and much needed Spring or will this miserable wet weather never end?

Half the country is buried under record snowfalls, but many of the lucky ones in those otherwise deadly urban traps will walk to local bars, and the rest of them should know to have ample stores of hooch at home. Keep the faith, folks.

For the last few weeks, we've bundled and medicated all in order to consume whiskey and drink as many strong beers as possible. Regardless of what the rat does in Pennsylvania tomorrow, this weekend is the Super Bowl, so we can all eat well then laugh at the expensive commercials. It's a sign of hipness and a badge of honor to show up Monday at work and still slightly reek. It's in the national character.

Once that holy of holy days is in the books however, yours truly is ready for warmer weather. St. Patrick's Day will loom large, as it always does in Knoxville(seriously, check out the Old City and Downtown that afternoon, you'll be surprised in the participation). Then come April, it's time for the fantastic street festival affectionately known as the Rossini Festival. Mackey has elaborated on that happy-as-shit fun time in previous entries, so maybe I will spell him and write this year's account. In the meantime, I'll continue to freeze my ass off...and pay attention to that gopher lookin' prick.

Roger's Place

2011-01-31T16:32:00.000-05:00

Over the weekend I had the pleasure of visiting a well established bar in west Knoxville that I rarely visit, Roger's Place on Kingston Pike. It's been around longer than I've lived here so I know it has some street cred, and I've been there a few times but not enough to act like I know the scoop. In fact, I was going in for a quick beer prior to a function at Rothchild's and was surprised to see that they are a full service bar with mixed drinks and, I presume, wine. So I opted for a vodka & tonic, then another. I asked the lone bar waitress for my tab and she replied "$4.50" and flitted away in a blur. Just as fast she returned with a printed tab and went over their happy hours, prices, etc. and I was delighted to get out so cheap! Admittedly these were well drink prices but still a damn good bargain. I don't know the well brand they serve and I don't plan on asking. It's just good to know they serve booze if you're in the need for it. This is also a Smoking establishment and, from what I could tell, everybody in the place was a smoker. I don't plan on making this a regular stop but it's worth a quick drink if you're killing time and don't mind smelling like an ashtray when you leave. Cheers!

Some numbers on my visit:

Patrons: 22 men, 2 women

Bar Stools: 10
Bar Staff: 1, efficient and very nice

Happy Hour: $2.25 wells

Smokiness: 4 of 5 cigs

photo via: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

Sidestreet Tavern Gone Too?

2011-01-24T20:43:00.000-05:00

Noooooooo. Say it ain’t so. This weekend I heard a rumor that yet another local bar had to close their doors. Just a couple of weeks after the bigger stories of Regas and S & W Grand ceasing operations (not to mention Arby’s) it appears Sidestreet Tavern is among the list of restaurant/bar casualties. I haven’t called or done any real investigating of course, though I did drive by late Saturday afternoon and no one was there, so that’s almost like research. If it turns out to be true I am going to miss them. It was my 2nd favorite smoky bar in town behind Preservation Pub, making it a favorite place to go with friends who smoke. They also had a decent menu, friendly staff, good happy hour and specials, and weren’t too far from home. Admittedly I did not frequent any of the three aforementioned bars/restaurants enough to be considered a regular, so I’m not going to cry tears in my beer over their loss, though I will miss Sidestreet most. At least they were WYSIWYG vs. PC BS.

If anyone out there has some information about Sidestreet Tavern to share, please feel free to leave a comment.

Sidestreet Tavern Knoxville

(Image from Knoxville520, via Google)

Happy Birthday Downtown Grill & Brewery

2011-01-21T16:25:00.001-05:00

Have a party DGB, you deserve it now that you’re 8 years old. That’s eight downtown years and going strong. Let’s face it, the brewery has grown into a hugely successful gathering place and watering hole that accommodates pretty much any damn thing you need: great beer and bar deals, lots of space, patios, gaming, varied menu and yes, shots.

I hear they have live music for the party this Friday and Saturday.

Friday 21st – The Pop Rox

Saturday 22nd – The Dead Ringers

Nama Sushi - Making Progress

2011-01-20T19:10:00.000-05:00

New Nama sign by Regal Riviera Cinema 8

Nama is moving closer to opening their new location next to the movie theater on Gay St. and I'm fired up about it. The big sign above has been in place for a few weeks, and the patio roof/cover was being installed today. I haven't checked my inside sources but it's no secret that they're working to open as soon as possible. My guess is that they plan to be open in time for Valentine's Day, but what do I know. They're a group that seems to have their act together so I'm sure there will be a huge ad campaign promoting the hell out of their grand reopening. We'll be hearing a lot more about this place, I'm sure.

Beer at the Movies – Just Like Amsterdam?

2011-01-19T20:19:00.002-05:00

And I don’t mean no paper cup, I’m talking about a glass of beer.

Well, I guess we’ll have to see about that. The Bottom Line blog at KNS is reporting that Regal Cinemas is seeking a beer permit for their Downtown West Cinema 8 location in west Knoxville. You may know it as that artsy-fartsy movie theater that shows all the foreign films you never see. I know it as the place where I double-dated in college at the feature of The Big Lebowski. My friend is still married to his college sweetheart and has a lovely family with 3 children. Apparently my date didn’t go so well. Anyway, there is a chance you can order a beer next time you go see that documentary on global cooling, or perhaps the Academy Award nomination for best foreign film. And try not to drown your french fries in mayonnaise either.

Hmmm.

2011-01-18T22:04:00.000-05:00

Whatever twirls your beanie.

http://www.scottishspirits.com/en/whisky_can.html

Beer Robot

2011-01-14T14:43:00.003-05:00

The guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber have provided a web link to a kick-ass beer dispensing "robot" via www.Engadget.com. It utilizes a mini-fridge, catapult and web cam all controlled with an iPhone. I envy people with time and skills to create fun shit like this, but not enough to challenge or compete with them. That would take time away from drinking so I'll leave the MacGyver inspired gadgetry to those folks.

http://www.engadget.com/2010/12/29/iphone-controlled-beer-cannon-is-the-robot-friend-of-our-dreams

Football, Football, Football and Some Drinks

2011-01-13T14:33:00.000-05:00

Here are some figures from the College Football Bowl Season Challenge I recently completed, plus some NFL games for good measure. I am ~~not~~ proud of this achievement.

First Bowl Game – December 18
Final Bowl Game – January 10
Total Bowl Games – 35

BONUS COLLEGE GAMES:

FCS Playoffs (formerly Division II) – 3 (2 SF, 1 Championship)

There was some overlap of games that I had to watch at home by switching channels back and forth, and on January 1 we went to a sports bar to take advantage of multiple screens. In addition to quality games with awesome players, trick plays and fantastic finishes, I also endured shitty games by shitty teams, blue and red football fields, and passed out at the end of blowout games several times. It wasn't a perfect feat, it was a drunken feat.

NFL GAMES:

Final 3 weekends of regular season (48 games total, no I didn’t watch them all) includes 1 Thursday game, 2 Monday night games, 1 Saturday/Christmas game and an odd Tuesday night game, the first one since 1946. Obviously it was impossible to watch all the NFL games simultaneously but the NFL Red Zone Channel has made it easier to keep up with what is going on.

NFL Playoffs – Wildcard weekend, 4 games

If my calculations are correct that is 90 games in 24 days. In other words: a fucking insane amount of football in a short time period. The NFL schedule inflates the total number, but I was able to take in about 50 of these games, an average of 2 per day, not too shabby.

THE BOOZE (estimated, shared amongst fiends):

Beer, Woodruff IPA – 1 keg
Vodka, bargain brands – 2 half gallons
Bourbon, Maker’s Mark, Johnny Drum & TJD – 3 fifths
Gin, Brokers – 1 fifth
Wine, various grapes – probably around ½ a case
Plus various bar tabs throughout downtown and the Cumberland strip

I will not attempt this next year, or ever again for that matter.

Meet the New Boss

2011-01-12T23:42:00.002-05:00

http://www.fox41.com/story/13826074/one-on-one-bill-samuels-to-retire-from-makers-mark

Well, it was coming eventually. Also the stability of the family enterprise lends to a smooth (see what I did there?) transition. Good luck to Rob.

With Whisky Season approaching the home stretch, maybe its time to reassure MM that we're not going anywhere either. Time to a run to the package store.

Nine millimeters of Luger

2011-01-06T22:10:00.004-05:00

Let me just say I don't care for these electronic cigarettes. Not because I think those who use the insipid things are trying to skirt the smoking laws, rather I have found every single person who is using them in a bar setting to be a screaming douche.

I'm no smoking prude. In fact, among non-smokers you will find me the most pro-cancer stick. I lament the passing of smoking sections on planes and trains, and you will still see me frequent 21 and over bars that still allow smoking. This is America, and you should be able to kill your body however you please.

So last night I am downtown, and this older fellow was indulging in this tripe. He finagled his way to the center of his table, overpowering conversation and gesturing like a madman with his stupid damn stick. It lacks the couth and class of a pipe, sir. Worse, when your friends attempted to get your attention you would quickly pull your tiny Freudian cockstitute to your mouth and exhale a small amount of vapor into said friend's face. Feh. They really need to kick your ass.

Look, if the droat-wearing girls can stand outside in scarves and hideous boots to smoke during the cold January nights then you can too. I recognize that everyone probably doesn't engage in this low-level visual cocktardery when they activate their e cigarette. I beseech someone to step up and lead these misguided souls.

Product Review: Death's Door Gin

2011-01-04T22:12:00.007-05:00

I'll admit, early on I had my questions about this gin. Would the relative youth of the company be evident in some crass manner? Overpowering or too little juniper? If it is tasty does that still make this some sort of gin nouveau riche?

Calm the fuck down there LVL. Turns out this is a very fine and suitable clear liquor that easily bridges the middle ground between the current heavy hitter gins: (my beloved) Hendricks, Tanq, and Bombay.

Gin is usually distinct and stark, and DD is no exception. It has a slight citrus twinge that I find difficult to explain. These days many gins have a slight infusion of flavor, but this begs you to drink more to investigate. Insidious.

The bottle is probably its coolest feature. It shows the pride of the Wisconsin community that it calls home. Ingredients are purported to be local and organic, and the general opinion is this is a 'greener' hooch if you find that a feature rather than a bug. You will find something new with each new pour...dates, maps, local lore. It's pretty cool in a day when most bottle labels are either askew or sport a torn paper label.

Suffice to say, that picture was taken pretty early-and I have since prosecuted the bottle with relentless gusto. I heartily recommend you check it out the next time you aren't in the mood for brown booze or vodka.

Busted Flat in Knoxville

2011-01-03T18:18:00.004-05:00

OK, we're back for another year of this mess. Things have been pretty quite for the past month as we've drank our way through the holidays. Now that we're through the bulk of them (sorry Presidents/MLK) the drudgery of work and winter return to the forefront. Shit, not cool. Though I am thankful to be employed since it helps with booze vouchers.

Here are a couple of notes tying up some loose ends from 2010 and looking ahead to a drunken, great year in 2011.

I have put myself through the wringer this bowl season, undertaking one of the greatest self-imposed challenges ever - watching every damn one of the 35 bowl games. It started back on 12/18 innocently enough when I had very little to do and watched the first 3 games. I was fired up (and impaired) and decided to make a go of this boast. Now 28 games later - including a brutal stretch of 3, 3, 4 and 6 games played on four consecutive days - I am over the hump to the other side. Watching the final seven games in 8 days will be like drinking a 6-pack of ponies on a hot day - almost too easy, yet satisfying nonetheless.

New Year's Day games were the most difficult to coordinate, forcing an early trip to a sports bar with multiple TV screens to take in the simulcast bowls. That was a rough 1-2 hour patch as we started 2011 staring at full beers after a night of heavy boozing for NYE. So rough that two hours into our day, the bar stool of our most accomplished lady-boozer just gave the fuck out and collapsed. We were surprised as QT slowly sank, then fell out of sight and landed flat on her ass for all to see. We were almost too baffled to laugh, but we did anyway. She was fine and got some free drinks out of the deal so all worked out in the end.

Our recent trip to Gatlinburg had an inside joke that is too lurid to share here, so I'll just say these three letters to annoy our drunkard reader MC: VPA. Eh, eh there? Did we ever get an answer? Please keep me posted.

Local recognition! The Metro Pulse did an article on local blogs you may not have read before and we were very surprised to be included. Call it a slow news cycle or year-end fodder, it was a nice little piece about some pretty cool sites that you can check out via the above link. Thanks MP!

That will do for now, I've got football to watch and beer to drink!

Knoxville Christmas Spirits

2010-12-25T11:19:00.010-05:00

O Whisky Season

2010-12-19T19:09:00.000-05:00

Drinking Gatlinburg

2010-12-15T16:44:00.000-05:00

Gatlinburg has more to offer than outlet shopping, the national park and Flapjack breakfast restaurants. While it is difficult to ignore those things, along with air brushed shirts, Airsoft guns and old timey photos, you can find other things to do in the South’s finest tourist location if you put forth just a little bit of effort. Our group went up for the weekend and managed to have a pretty good time doing what we do best – crafting. No, that’s a lie. We drank a lot of booze and feasted on steak dinners all weekend. (Hint - that’ a recipe for success just about anywhere you go.)

A few notes:

Set up a personal bar in the hotel room as soon as you check in. It is a very comfortable feeling knowing that no matter what happens during your stay that you will have your favorite adult beverage waiting for you in the privacy of your room. You'll need to have this for front-loading purposes but it serves as an emergency backup in case you get separated from the group or simply cut off at the hotel bar.

The Peddler is a fine restaurant that serves a delicious rib eye steak dinner. The salad bar is exquisite and the servers aren't above serving shots of bourbon and tequila between dinner courses (see LVL's previous post). Everyone's entrees were perfect and service was outstanding. I envision a return trip to this place, hopefully sooner than later.

And there were bloody marys. We were strolling the strip looking for our next watering hole to enjoy a nice, cold beer when we saw the sign at McCutchan's Bar & Grill advertising the world's finest bloody mary. Well, tempted by such a claim we sauntered into the bar "area" and ordered 4 of the bastards. A "regular" took our order and placed it with the barmaiden who began making our cocktails. Soon enough a nice server with a heavy eastern European accent delivered our bloodys and we drank 'em down. Yes, they were very good but sadly I do not think they were the world's best, sorry McCutchan. We moved on our way and within 2 blocks we saw another sign advertising the "world's best bloody mary". Shit. We'd been had but there was no way I was about to go in to comparison shop.

We opted to drink atop the mountain at Ober Gatlinburg instead. Good call. Although the options were limited once we reached the lodge, the bar was open, prices weren't too bad and the service was good. Mission accomplished. We moved on to Pucker's and Hoggs & Honeys to wrap up our drinking on the strip before returning to the hotel for dinner (another steak) and drinks. All in all I'd say it was a regal experience, and I'd like to make it back there without waiting 10 years between visits next time.

Disturbing Trends in Dinner Prickery

2010-12-13T23:49:00.009-05:00

So, this past weekend some members the group got the H out of dodge and pub crawled in a new town. There is something profoundly necessary about dealing with Holiday and impending winter related stress by taking one's shit on the road. A good rule is that at least one full day should be devoted to the crawl proper. Find a tasty Bloody Mary and then just go into the afternoon with an open mind. The details...such as those regarding our destination, fade into obscurity. Unnecessary even.

During these adventures, the mind often embraces its creative side. New things are tried, experimentation keeps everyone on their toes. Such was the setting for a Mackey-LVL contest of wills and livers.

The setting was a fine restaurant, where our group initially made reservations but always looking for the quickest way to continue the drinking(of course we started way before, don't judge us Puritan) we found a table in the lounge. Full service of course, or the victory is hollow. Time saved: 25 minutes from the initial reservation. We were victims of our own smug success, since we would have to slam our drinks seated.

To Mackey's initial surprise, I informed the server that we two gentlemen would need whisky shots-in a hurry. He didn't disappoint and those warm bastards arrived right before the salad.

LVL: 1, Mackey Nil. To be fair, I didn't enjoy the contrast in flavor either, but shit it had to be done. Pro-A strong opening move. Con-tasted like pain.

Not to be outdone, Mackey retaliates with a strong counter to the pre-salad bourbon: The mid-meal tequila. Nothing like chilled Patron to make you appreciate the next bite of prime rib or steak. The mouth is alternately confused and then grateful.

Pro-A devastating blow to my dinner morale. Con-sparks profanity in a setting unaccustomed to such prickery. LVL: 1, Mackey: 1. Push.

Final word? Neither of us want to go through that again. It was just pointless once everyone regained the faculty of civilized speech. No, I'll go further and admit it was a terrible idea. In summary, learn from the shitheaded behavior documented here. The lesson is that you should cockpunch your friends with a belt of Wild Turkey AFTER the last bite.

Drunken Jukebox 6 - Shots

2010-12-03T15:30:00.003-05:00

Behold the Drunken Jukebox: Music to Motivate Your Liver. A little bit country, a little bit rock 'n roll, punk, rap, hip hop and pop crap, old or new - all musical genres and periods are open for exploitation. Quarters and crisp dollar bills not required.

Shots. It’s a single word that gets right to the point of drinking. Just saying it aloud let’s everyone know that it’s about to be ON. You’re about to drink some booze and don’t give a damn who knows it. Add a question mark and it’s an invitation from your friends or bartender to get down to business. It doesn’t get much more clear-cut than shots.

LMFAO and Lil Jon pretty much nail the idea here. They seem to "get it".

shots?

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down

2010-12-01T14:58:00.004-05:00

Wasting? Yes. Out of work and down? No sir, although I am duly grateful during this foul oconomy. Thus with another Drinking for Vengeance in the books with the usual ceremonial JP lyric, we move into Whiskey Season right and proper on the first of December. During the holiday period with your exhaustive shopping and nauseating office parties, we remind you to hit the Makers, Jamesons, or Glenlivet early and often. Even if you only have a few minutes...and especially if you are at your wit's end with the droning shoppers and the hell of holiday traffic then its time to get stinko. You can find refuge nearly anywhere if you don't give in like a dandy.

Warm, inviting, non-judging...is there anything it can't do?

Whipahol

2010-11-30T10:17:00.002-05:00

Damn, where was this during Thanksgiving dessert? A brand new way to consume alcohol has hit the market just in time for the holidays. Or maybe it's been out for a while now, I honestly don't know. Whipped Lightning is the world's first alcohol-infused whipped cream - it says so right on their web page. I applaud this invention even though I will probably never use it myself. According to the website it is not available in 33 states, however Tennessee somehow pulls a surprise win and it IS available here. Check out the recipes if you need instructions on how to enjoy their product. Or I'll save you the time by listing the two step process:

Make your favorite cocktail, shooter, coffee or dessert
Top with Whipped Lightning

Done.

Will this replace the tried and true method of spiking your coffee or pouring bourbon directly on your apple pie? No, it will not, especially if LVL is around with a bottle of Maker's.

Holiday Leftovers

2010-11-29T20:40:00.008-05:00

Thanksgiving is a time for gathering with family and friends to celebrate all the things you're thankful for over a heaping feast of food and football.

Drinksgiving is the time you gather with fellow drunkards and drink like there's no tomorrow. We usually throw in a Deep Fried Food Feast for good measure. After several years of doing this we have become pretty good at frying a bunch of favorites without much hassle. The 2010 menu featured the usual suspects including a whole turkey, turkey breast, fresh cut fries, English style fish & chips, Southern style catfish, hush puppies, hand-dipped corn dogs and two kinds of onion rings. All of it was pretty damn awesome. We skipped the fried sweets this year but there were plenty of pies and cookies to make up for it, along with plenty of other sides thanks to hosts Atlas & MC, Tag and MB. Of course booze, beer and wine were plentiful as well. In fact I'm looking forward to a return trip to tackle the leftovers - wine and IPA, that is.

UT Homecoming may as well be a holiday - people come in from out of town, lots of food and drink, spending money, football, good times. Not all of our alumni friends were able to make the trip in this year but we did have representation from Texas and Colorado, so that was nice. Our group behaved very well this year, mainly staying downtown for dinner and drinks. A little bit of front loading at the urban bunker didn't hurt either. It's nice to avoid jail time whenever possible.

2010 Homecoming Day vs. Ole Miss

Royal Droat

2010-11-23T11:49:00.005-05:00

It’s been too long since we’ve had a good droat sighting. Warm weather has prevented our lovely ladies from sporting their fashionable fall wardrobes well into November. Thankfully the announcement of the latest royal wedding has stirred up the paparazzi and we have plenty of photos of Prince William’s bride-to-be Kate Middleton. I was naturally drawn to this image of Ms. Middleton in a very smart, white overcoat.

A quick Google search provided a whole slew of photos and I particularly enjoyed the ones of her celebrating her 26th birthday in 2008 with sister Pippa, via the website Just Jared.

Check out the nice plaid droat on little sis, not to mention the nice stems on those girls!! And you know you've got a fashion trend when everybody tries to copy your style. Something tells me that we'll have plenty of royal droats for years to come.

Tin Roof Expansion

2010-11-19T11:34:00.001-05:00

The other day I was driving along Northshore Drive and noticed a sign on the “old” Roux Barbecue restaurant across from Rooster’s. Apparently Tin Roof is expanding and taking over the former place that Roux never really got off the ground. It looks like a no-brainer since the entire building features tin roofing all over, and the building should be up to date and ready to go soon since it was totally remodeled during its last stint as a restaurant. I’m not sure if arrangements have been made to address the parking situation that ultimately afflicted Roux, but maybe they can come up with a good idea that will avoid tension with their neighbors. We’ll see. Good luck Tin Roof!

Happy 235th Birthday Marines

2010-11-10T15:58:00.002-05:00

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!" Eleanor Roosevelt once said.

That’s an awesome quote. I’ll drink to that, see you at the bar.

Chili!

2010-11-07T11:22:00.003-05:00

Let's go get some. Having some beers as well, natch.

http://www.secondharvestknox.com/etnchilicookoff/

Possum Weekend

2010-11-04T12:35:00.001-04:00

This isn’t a George Jones promotion, although no one here will stop you from enjoying the classic country bard. Knoxville’s very own rugby team is celebrating 30 years of play on the pitch. Scrums, rucks, mauls, hookers – all good times. The Possums have a solid, well established team that has competed for many years throughout the region at a very high level. They have close ties with the accomplished UT club team and, I believe, have helped grow the sport via youth and high school programs with pretty good success. In addition to their achievements on the pitch they are also prolific drinkers. These guys are champion boozers, drunkards and tosspots. They put the fun in functional alcoholics. They like the sauce. Arthur Bach would ask them to take it down a notch – that’s how much they like to drink.

To celebrate their anniversary they will host their annual banquet at Calhoun’s on the River this Friday night followed by a day of rugby vs. Johnson City at Possum Park on Saturday. Plus the UT “A” and “B” squads will play as well. Directions and more information are available at www.knoxvillerugby.com. Maybe the banquet is off limits but there will be plenty of time for drinks afterwards, just guard your women. Hell, in fact if you are a woman looking for some interaction with brutish juiceheads this may be just what you’re looking for. This group isn’t the most discriminating bunch of guys in town, trust me I’ve been there. And if you’ve never watched or been to a rugby match before this is a great opportunity to make it happen. The weather is supposed to be cool and clear, admission is free and you can BYOB (or at least you could in the past, I haven’t been in a while). It’s a good time and fun to watch these guys run and beat the hell out of each other just for sport. As an “old boy” I congratulate and salute the Possums on 30 years of success and wish them many more. Cheers!

Tuesday

2010-11-02T19:32:00.006-04:00

Yeah, so I've managed to acquire a bar globe. Nothing fancy, I didn't buy it airdrunk from Skymall or the Westerfield estate but it will serve in the beginning. Numerous early ideas about painting it like Unicron or the Death Star were bounced around. Like so much else, we just cut through the shit and accepted the status quo so as to get drinking "right damn now."

Not a particularly expensive or complex model, nonetheless the damn thing was lying in the motherfucking weeds and jumped up to wage hateful war against the group this last weekend! Much like Atlas and Mackey's dual kegerators that came before it the bourbon and vodka contained therein prosecuted our livers effectively. I am not confident of victory.

Maker's Mark vs. Kitty Kaga

2010-10-26T09:55:00.004-04:00

Our favorite bourbon is being featured in an episode of Iron Chef America on the Food Network this week, one that I’m going to try to watch for sure. Admittedly I don’t watch the newer version of this program much because I prefer the original Iron Chef from Japan that they used to show with subtitles and the crazy-assed Chairman Kaga, plus the bizarre ingredients that I’d never seen or heard of before. But all things must change and I’ve watched my share of the current show, just not as much the past couple of years. I learned of the Maker’s news via my Ambassador letter from Maker’s CEO Bill Samuels, Jr. who also announced he is stepping down and turning the company operations over to his son Rob. His simple hope is that his son doesn’t fuck up the whisky, though he says it a bit more tastefully.

Below is an excerpt from Bill about the upcoming show airing on the Food Network:

This week's episode of Iron Chef America features Iron Chef Cat Cora and challenger Chef Paul Miranda in a bourbon battle to the finish. I'll leave it you to figure out which bourbon they chose for the battle. As if that's not enough, our very own Master Distiller, Kevin Smith, was one of the three judges and did us real proud! Hell, he may have even found a new career for himself. The competition was mighty fierce, but to find out whose bourbon "cuisine reigns supreme," you'll just have to watch! Here's a schedule of times (all EDT) when you can catch the episode on Food Network:

10/28 @ 9:00 PM
10/29 @ 12:00 AM
10/30 @ 5:00 PM
10/30 @ 11:00 PM
10/31 @ 2:00 AM

For those of you who want to compliment Cat Cora on her spectacular bourbon creations, go on over to her blog (http://catcoracooks.com/blog/) and give her a cheer. She might even share a recipe or two with you.

That's it for now. Hope to see you soon down here at the distillery - the fall colors are spectacular right now. And so is the whisky - as always.

Allez cuisine!

Like a sackful of axe handles

2010-10-21T01:00:00.003-04:00

Here at DK we pay attention to minor holidays as well as major ones. To be honest, so long as we can tie in a reason to drink we'll also honor the most obscure regional festival, visit the farthest winter gathering, and humor the vilest of Nilotic dark rites-you name it, we'll knock them back somehow.

Some of you may know that one of my favorites is the anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar.

Say what you want to about the overall quality of Brit drinks, the Royal Navy had a great naming convention going. While the sailors of yore(and indeed today) drank copious amounts of rum, the present Autumn weather makes me prefer what limited gin I am allowed to take the form of Hendricks-with cucumber of course.

Lately though I've been doing more window shopping at the package store, and I noticed this little doozy.

Also a promising naming convention. I might have to splurge on this luxury just in time for the TSIO, and tilt one back to Admiral Nelson. He need not know it comes from the Midwest. Hell, like he would care even.

The Hangover

2010-10-18T14:18:00.000-04:00

Brewers Jam is a fading memory once again. Days fill the distance from that warm, sunny afternoon of tasting beer and catching up with friends on the festival lawn at World's Fair Park. Somehow I managed to behave responsibly for most of the day before following my liver's heart and drinking the night away downtown with the boys. However there was no loss of wallet, cell phone or dignity for yours truly this year - a rare accomplishment for an event of this nature.

I'm not so sure about the fellow pictured below. He seemed perfectly at ease resting only a few steps outside the festival gate at the Chocolate Factory, but I can't imagine a less comfortable place to recline than those brick steps. This isn't exactly a sandy beach that beckons one to take a nap.

What's that? Brewers Jam?

2010-10-15T17:13:00.003-04:00

Why yes it is, the Brewers Jam is tomorrow and it looks like I will be attending afterall. This has been a poor year of attendance for my favorite drinking festivals. I was on the brink of skipping this one too until I got the call from Tag B. Let's take a look back on the season:

+ - Rossini Festival
X - Irish Festival
X - Feast with the Beasts
X - Wine on the Water
+ - Brewers Jam

Ok that's 2 for 5, not great but it could be worse. 40% is a failing mark but if it were .400 in baseball I'd be a star. It's all about perspective, man.

Shadey Bar Busted

2010-10-14T19:07:00.003-04:00

WATE and KNS have reports of the 4th Knoxville bar to be raided and closed down via the Nuisance Law. I'm glad that I never got around to that Knoxville Dive Bar Tour I was planning; it's one good thing about the bad economy that may have saved me some trouble. So it looks like I won't be visiting Max's Bar anytime soon.

Both articles have similar details of the violations including gambling, selling drugs and operating without proper permits and signage. Pesky rules. WATE goes further, listing the patrons cited in the raid for mary-jane possession. The names are . . . kinda Shadey.

Meet the Makers

2010-10-13T23:10:00.004-04:00

Maker's Mark Distillery will be at Downtown Grill & Brewery this Thursday. They're hosting an Ambassador meeting but everyone is welcome to attend for free. These meetings are pretty fun to attend and a good way to learn more about their product and get some freebies. Plus they offer an excellent excuse to get out and drink some whisky. Try to go if possible and I recommend signing up as an Ambassador if you aren't one already. Basically it is a loyalty program that keeps you up to date with recipes and special offers at events like the Kentucky Derby.

At this meeting, none other than Maker's Mark President Bill Samuels Jr. will be present to lead the evening, though I've fallen for that one before. It doesn't matter who shows up because it's hard not to have a good time with a bunch of whisky drinkers. Also, the Brewery has consistently been Knoxville's leading consumer of Maker's Mark - a fact the humble authors of this blog are proud to be a part of. Go there, it will be a good time.

Place: Downtown Grill & Brewery, 424 Gay St.
Date: 10-14-10
Time: 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM, tasting sessions at 6:30 and 7:30

Drunken Jukebox 5 - Spill The Wine

2010-10-01T12:14:00.003-04:00

In what has become a regular DK feature, behold the Drunken Jukebox: Music to Motivate Your Liver. A little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll, punk, rap and pop crap, old or new– all musical genres and periods are open for exploitation. Quarters and crisp dollar bills not required.

In support of Wine on The Water - Eric Burdon & War, Spill The Wine.

Updated version.

Lt. Rocka XVI

2010-10-01T11:33:00.004-04:00

Lieutenant Rocka is back with a new podcast. Episode 16 is available on his website, but there has been some trouble with the link so if you can't download it you can go to drop.io and get it there. I listened to it the other day and it's even more mellow than usual, something like being stoned plus shooting H and tequila. Be cool, man, it's Friday.

Megadeth und Slayer

2010-10-01T11:22:00.006-04:00

Jagermeister, beer und devil music.

Free South Africa, you dumb son of a bitch

2010-09-30T00:13:00.004-04:00

Invoked a little Murtaugh there. Weird.

Anyhoo, these sumbitches shut down. I remember going there as a punk ass kid with the rents shortly after the abortive World's Fair. Fun note: I did go there two years ago with Mackey's brother. He won't own a red...nothing!

http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2010/sep/30/butcher-shop-closes-doors/

Tag, the former author/brewer here, can grill a steak on par with anyone. I'll be damned if I grill it myself someplace. Still, I am somewhat saddened since I am a huge fan of the old WFP sites. With both this property and the L&N vacant, I worry that some urban traitor will fuck us and sell them to the Russkies or the Frogs. Fuck that noise. That shit's for the birds.

Self-Immolation: In which I single-handedly destroy credibility

2010-09-27T18:28:00.008-04:00

Specifically, by providing an exceptional rant for the ages...courtesy of serial guest Atlas. See, he's provided me with a metric shit ton of this:

So I am providing an opening for a bit of rage, directed with tremendous vigor at this bird, made relevant by today's passing of the actress that portrayed Rose's latter years during this sentimental 90's shit:

Buckle up:

Drunken Jukebox 4 - The Streets

2010-09-24T11:30:00.003-04:00

In what may (or may not) become a regular DK feature, behold the Drunken Jukebox: Music to Motivate Your Liver. A little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll, punk, rap and pop crap, old or new– all musical genres and periods are open for exploitation. Quarters and crisp dollar bills not required.

For this installment of DJB we travel across the Atlantic to Birmingham, England for the sound of The Streets, aka Mike Skinner. Some of you may remember the 2004 semi-successful song Fit But You Know It, but I assume that most of you will not. The Streets didn’t make it big in the US but the unique style of “mockney English” resonated with me enough that I paid attention to them for a while, which leads us to this video. The song doesn’t really fit the Knoxville scene, if there is such a thing, but I’m sure a lot people I know and perhaps some readers will relate to the sentiment of their lyrics or at least the personal habits depicted in the video*. I apologize for the horrible and awful quality of the video – I searched YouTube at least 3-4 times for something better before I gave up. So here it is, Irony of it All by The Streets.

But first a brief promotional advert.

Now back to the program...

Reader Response

2010-09-23T11:11:00.000-04:00

Occasionally we have readers send an email to comment on the blog, and for that we are thankful. It doesn’t happen often but when it does they usually fall in two categories: local events or spam. We try to respond to all emails unless they're obviously a nasty spam attack, and sometimes we add their content on the blog. Here are a few samples:

Don’t Drink and Race

Atlas sends this link about Greeneville, TN NHRA driver Allen Johnson’s failure to launch. It’s another example of celebrity athletes living the rock ‘n roll lifestyle. Seriously though, a .027 the morning after is quite impressive.

Killer New Bar? (from March 2010)

Hey Drinker! Have you seen the new restaurant and bar next to nama on kingston pike? They have real absinthe, they light it on fire, they have crazy bar lights that are so cool and they play some real fun music. I was there on Friday and thought you guys would dig it.

I still haven’t seen or been to this place so I don’t know what this reader is talking about. The one that comes to mind is Chez Liberty but I’m not sure. During these difficult economic times I’ve had a hard time exploring new bars and restaurants to the point where I feel like I’ve fallen way behind on the local drinking scene. This depresses me since I love sousing myself in a variety of locations but it also affects blog content, thus the lack of posts lately. As for absinthe, whew, that stuff lights me up. The last experiment we had with it caused me to turn beet red and I thought I would spontaneously combust. I may try it again sometime but in much smaller quantities. If anyone knows about Chez Liberty I'd like to know more, hopefully I can visit sometime soon.

Shameless Plug

I'd appreciate if you can give me some feedback on our site. I realize that you are a barstools connoisseur :) I'd like to hear your opinion/feedback on our bar stools.

I took a look at the bar stools and I'm pretty sure I could have a drink or 5 in all of them, even the curvy, fancy ones.

Phlebotomist

Hi, I find your blog to be absolutely hilarious. I appreciate how informative it is. I just had a cool infographic on visualizing alcohol use made for my new site phlebotomist.net. You can check it out here: http://www.phlebotomist.net/visualizing-alcohol-use.

This falls into the WTF category. Thanks for reading!

Is Bud Done?

2010-09-22T15:22:00.002-04:00

Probably not but it’s been dead to me for years. The dissolution of Budweiser as an American institution just a couple of years ago is now grasping at bar straws for customers. So much that they’re giving it away for free, at least in some areas. I’m not sure if they are begging at Knoxville bars but I wouldn’t be surprised at all. If so the only person I know who would be interested (besides the bums) is DK washout KRTI who has been supporting that brand recently. Whatever. So there you go InBev and Budweiser, cling to your pathetic fable as King of Beer.

And just to be clear, yes, I would drink some of that free beer!

Roosters, Dogs and Cats - No Reptiles

2010-09-16T09:38:00.004-04:00

Watch your cornhole! Rooster’s Bar & Grill is hosting a cornhole tournament to benefit the Young-Williams Animal Shelter on October 16th. It’s for a good cause, sounds like a good time, plus there is a chance for cash and prizes for the winners. The only negative aspect I find is that it is on the same day as the Knoxville Brewers Jam at World’s Fair Park, however this could be a good alternative in case you don’t get KBJ tickets before they sell out. Details below:

Sign up now! Roosters is partnering with Young-Williams Animal Shelter for an awesome day of Cornhole! The event is scheduled for October 16th at 2:00. Registration is $50.00 per team (cash only please) or $65.00 the day of the event (Registration ends at noon on the 16th). Proceeds will benefit the Young-Williams Animal Shelter. All participants will receive a t-shirt and a goody bag. Roosters will also be providing lunch and drinks for all participants!

First place team-$250.00 cash and some awesome additional prizes.

Second place team-Two $25.00 Roosters gift cards and additional prizes.

Third place team-Two $15.00 Roosters gift cards and additional prizes.

The first place team will also have their name on a plaque inside Roosters and of course, bragging rights!

Roosters Bar and Grille, 7585 S. Northshore Drive, Knoxville, Tennessee 37919

Angels, Wings, & Schlitz

2010-09-14T22:04:00.007-04:00

Boom. Long in the works, a brand new beer cave opens in K-town. Somewhere, a buzzed angel gets its wings. This particular cave is housed at the Ingles on Emory Road, some of you may know it. Let's peek inside this brand new cooley-freezey box.

Swanky, powerful, damn cold and with reasonable prices no less. The real shame about these great repositories of the sauce, is that so few grocers and markets have them. Let's face it, the majority of Knoxville will be years away from such a luxury unless they want to put in the extra effort. Noodle that last sentence. Yeah, that's what I thought too.

Also part of Ingle's expansion and assimilation of everything off Exit 112, is this arrogant and totally beautiful wall of suds with enough quanity to outfit a brigade. Yes, it does go on and on.

Heh heh. Schlitz has little to do with this, except it was stocked in heroic and devastating amounts near the cave. Been waiting for this old formula to make it down this way. In any event, come check out the new cave, folks. It will never be brand spankin' new again.

Quick Links

2010-09-07T23:14:00.003-04:00

First up, check this out if you believe that Tennesseans should be able to buy wine from grocery stores. Pretty concerted website here, more directed and focused than previous efforts we've seen.

http://www.redwhiteandfood.com/

And now comes this bizarre and somewhat terrifying piece. I mean I've had some whisky that tasted like piss but come on...

http://boingboing.net/2010/09/04/whiskey-from-diabeti.html

Drunken Jukebox 3

2010-09-03T11:49:00.004-04:00

“Once two strangers climbed on Rocky Top, looking for a moonshine still. Strangers ain’t come back from Rocky Top, reckon they never will. Corn won’t grow at all on Rocky Top, dirt’s too rocky by far. That’s why all the folks on Rocky Top get their corn from a jar”

It’s football time in Tennessee. It’s also Labor Day weekend meaning it’s Boomsday weekend too. And let’s not forget that it’s Lord von Lord’s birthday weekend. Now, please enjoy the musical styling of George Jones aka The Possum.

Summer Staycation is Over

2010-08-31T16:21:00.003-04:00

Summer is almost officially over and for once I am glad to see it go. Bring on Autumn I say - cooler weather, football season and wine. It's been a long, hot summer of humid days and stormy, wet evenings that I won't miss one damn bit. Not to mention the allergens that have wrecked my health (I'll stop there).

I was pleased to see an article with some good booze news on MSN and thought I'd share it here in case you missed it. Basically the study focuses on older adults' alcohol consumption, so if you're lucky enough to make it that far the good news is that they suggest you keep on drinking. Super! Something to look forward to. Another thing to possibly look forward to is the soon-to-be opening Public House Pub on Magnolia. The place has been under construction for some time now and was originally targeted to open around the 4th of July holiday but these things take time. A couple of weeks ago while biking I saw a couple of workers resting outside so I stopped and asked for an update. They were noncommittal but said it may be 6-8 more weeks, which puts it around sometime in October. All we can do is wait and see. Well, actually we can continue drinking normally as we wait and see.

Heh heh heh

2010-08-11T21:48:00.002-04:00

Cool Wine Gimmick

2010-08-11T14:46:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago reader SKM sent a cool web link showing how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew. Leave it to the French to come up with a wine-drinking solution. The original video was on wimp.com but I found a version on YouTube that you can see below. Even better though is another wine opening technique I saw on the side bar that doesn’t quite go as planned. The second option is probably closer to how some of our group would go about things.

The other way:

Under the Bridge

2010-08-10T19:23:00.012-04:00

This isn’t homage to the RHCP. No, these images were taken at the massive parking area in the Old City underneath the interstate / parkway system. I ride my bicycle throughout town and usually cruise through the lot for a breather or water break away from the street traffic. I do my best to dodge the seas of broken glass but it is practically impossible. On this particular occasion I noticed a higher than usual number of empty bottles and thought I’d do some photo documentation.

I remember the days of going to the bars and frontloading on the way (yes, open containers!) and was just as guilty as these folks who leave behind the sacrificed empties, so I’m not being hypocritical or unrealistic about this situation. I mean, who wants to leave a backseat full of crime evidence should the police get involved. There has to be a better way but looking around the lot I didn’t see the one solution that should be obvious – trash cans. Not a damn one!

Did you know?

2010-08-09T20:53:00.004-04:00

For our 400th post on this wretched midden heap, I would like to call your attention to one of the few things our government has done that we all can agree with: The creation of the Congressional Bourbon Caucus.

This nascent (a little over a year old) group is one of other 300 such caucuses in gummint. Largely formed from the Kentucky contingent, I'd like to see what their meetings are like.

Shines the name, shines the name of Rodger Young

2010-07-31T10:27:00.002-04:00

(1918-1943)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodger_Wilton_Young

Drunken Jukebox Mark Zwei

2010-07-30T00:37:00.002-04:00

Behold Denis Leary. We've all heard this one.

Drunken Jukebox

2010-07-28T14:15:00.000-04:00

Danger Powers

2010-07-23T13:02:00.002-04:00

At a moment of impulse I picked up this bottle of Irish whiskey to sample this weekend. And by sample I mean drink the whole damn thing. Surprisingly I’ve never had this brand before. Initially I was going to buy my usual Jameson’s, then I saw Bushmill’s and Powers sitting side by side and had to make a decision. After a second or two of drunken synaptic misfires my right hand reached out and grabbed the Powers off the shelf. I strode with pride to the register, made my purchase and completed the entire transaction in about 1 minute flat. Somehow the bottle remains unopened and I have yet to have a sip, but I suspect that won’t be the case very much longer.

Heheheh, I laugh every time. The first (and best) Austin Powers is comic gold. Or is it Powers Gold?

Glug

2010-07-23T08:59:00.002-04:00

Couple of quick nods today. First, on the cutting edge(not really) of drinking technology we have this:

http://www.amazon.com/Giant-Wine-Glass-Holds-Bottle/dp/B000O3PZ1M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1279890480&sr=1-1

Ah, the ascension of the modern drunk means that we can't be bothered by refills. Just pour the entire damn thing into this goblet and terrorize your home. Amazon's failure to market this with a carpet cleaner package is proverbial.

Also, from the convicts we have this fine idea:

http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/workers-warming-to-lazy-fridays/story-e6frer4f-1225895878117

Lazy Fridays...yes, an idea that must find purchase here. Ah, the Aussies...I can almost forgive the Gallipoli disaster, the multitude of lethal flora and fauna, and the wrong direction of your toilets if you keep coming up with gems like these.

Fortune and assorted leg-spreading

2010-07-17T22:50:00.009-04:00

But the swift runner Achilles broke in sharply-"Field marshal Atreides, lord of men Agamemnon, produce the gifts if you like, as you see fit, or keep them back, it's up to you. But now-quickly, call up the wild joy of war at once!

-The Iliad, Book 19

Indeed. And so here we are, after some weeks of rumour and whispers we finally have the bottle of Maker's 46. Ye which is aged a bit longer with oak staves. Clever, and unsettling, for we are unaccustomed to fucking with a proven winner. After all, did Jack Daniels not buttfuck us?

We need not have worried. Thanks to our friends at Downtown-who even now stock this winner-I picked up one of these new bottles for the weekend. The wax is just like Maker's Mark proper, although we noticed that the wax seal on the front was somewhat curious. Getting the cork aside-Mackey, HL, and yours truly knocked back a few strong belts. The added oak adds smoothness, and although I feel it similar to other mid 90's proof bourbons you can tell that it's a big deal from a major distillery. It won't burn you up like the 100 plus motherfuckers either.

Thus, we addressed the afternoon...gulp by gulp, drink by drink building a wall of sweet numbness.

Handy the hand puppet: Even now, he sulks in his tree house like Achilles in his tent! ...Achilles?... The Iliad?... It's Homer?...

The Human Ton: Your Tick won't come. He's sulking in his tent like a guy from Chile!

Arthur: ...Don't you mean 'Achilles'?

Handy the hand puppet: [To the Human Ton] You're making us look like jerks! I told you already, READ A BOOK!

The Tick— "The Tick vs. Arthur's Bank Account"

Dear Lord, it was exhausting...ethos or no. The consensus of the smashed was that Maker's 46 is a worthy addition to the whisky family. At 94 proof it is slightly heavier than regular Maker's, and I cannot say that I would choose to pay the modest upcharge over the regular MM that I love so much.

Varenus rushes on briskly with his sword and carries the combat on hand-to-hand, and having slain one man, for a short time drove back the rest; while he urges on eagerly, he fell. To him, in turn Pulfio brings relief and both having slain a great number, retreat into the fort amidst the highest applause. Fortune so dealt with both in this rivalry that one competitor was a safeguard to the other, nor could it be determined which of the two appeared worthy of being preferred to the other.

Julius Caesar -Gallic Wars

So yeah, we got bombed. Spectacularly so, and with great vulgarity. Turns out there's a big X marking the spot beneath the seal. Insults were made, and wounds still fester. I think though we're going for wings in the morning so it's cool. Oh yeah, and if you are looking for a nice bourbon as a gift or just something different to sip on, pick up a bottle of 46. It'll nail your stones to the table. Cheers fuckface.

$4 BLT

2010-07-17T12:51:00.002-04:00

Mmmm. I had this tasty BLT Saturday morning at the Farmers Market on Market Square. I wasn't planning on having breakfast but when I realized that I was slightly hungover and hungry but not wanting to have a sit-down meal I checked out the sidewalk food vendors. Cruze Farms caught my eye and I decided to grab a biscuit and go, but at the last second I changed my mind to have the BLT and I'm glad that I did. The ciabatta roll was an unexpected surprise and the large rashers of Benton's bacon were superb. Sitting on the curb eating my newly discovered favorite breakfast sandwich made my day, and that's saying something for 10 AM.

Mixed Bag - Random Shit

2010-07-15T16:20:00.002-04:00

Well, well, whattya know? Somebody was able to cook a pizza and not burn the house down. And that somebody was ME! It wasn't too long ago that I came home after a night of boozing and decided to have a late night snack. They tried to warn me. Things didn't work out that evening but this time I managed to stay awake and remove the pie on time, cooked and seasoned to perfection. Suck it!!

Latitude 35 has been chugging along nicely since their grand opening. I've been several times for breakfast, lunch, dinner and just plain drinky-time. So far so good, though there have been a couple of hiccups you'd expect with a new establishment. Some have been unpreventable like when the AC units went out and it was a humid 85 degrees inside, or the 100 degree Sundown with Blues Traveller when an obese, unhealthy woman passed out on the patio right at the front door. Others small things like ambivalent service or poor sandwich construction will work themselves out over time. Behold the Cajun Shrimp Po'Boy (HL or MC's?):

and the Providence Brisket sandwich.

Both look and tasted delicious but damn were they a mess to eat. Another sandwich, the Waldorf Chicken (not pictured) wasn't so good IMO. Briefly: the chicken slab was at least 3" shorter than the baguette (chicken should be sliced) and the granny smith apples were too thick and bulky (I suggest a Julienne cut). But oh well, I ate the whole damn thing and sweet potato fries to boot.

The 100 block of Gay Street is set to re-open with a ribbon cutting ceremony next Monday, July 19. It will be nice to see the new work they've done and much easier to drive or bike through that part of town. Just a week or two ago I was passing through and noticed a difficult step in front of Ollanty's Havana Nights:

Maybe if you got a running start you could make it in the front door. Hopefully they have repaired that by now. I've been there only a handful of times and can't say it is one of my favorite places but it always has friendly service and they have great happy hour prices so it is worth a try if you're looking for a change of pace downtown. Plus you can hide there and be certain that none of your friends will think to look for you there. (shit, not anymore).

And finally here are some recent graffiti additions on the Wall St. side of 36 Market Square. Enjoy them while they last, according to the KNS Property Scope blog it appears the newly designed building will no longer have room for random shit painted everywhere.

The Mer-man? Mer-murder?

The Flying Vagina?

Lilo & Stitch reject?

Kegs

2010-07-13T08:50:00.008-04:00

As with most of you, we've been enjoying our summer evenings and weekends by getting loaded. We've been bayoneting kegs like The Somme and at remarkable speed no less.

Back in the college days, most young men will eventually acquire a full set of keg materials. Usually, you can get the keg pretty easily. The basin or trash can, for reasons I will shortly explain, can easily be obtained although it should come last. The tap is where most of us dipshit collegians run into trouble, so for a while you have to pay the damn deposit at Pilot.

And it had to be Pilot, because back then the Cumberland locale was the primary keg arsenal for the UTK student. Upon retrospect, I do wish there were more options but there was a reassuring and remarkable simplicity to obtaining a keg on short notice. The big yellow Pilot trash cans represented the epitome of serious drinking street cred, if your kegger sported the obscene yellow and red bastards, you were at a professional party. Utterly bizarre hierarchy. Also, if you had a backup tap(hubris) you were not to be trifled with in any capacity. What kind of rat bastard psycho has that kind of walking around change at 22?

Over the years, my items were passed along to a younger generation...which was good and proper. It also helps that Mackey and HL have kegerators, so I am cheating. They at times seem beset with attractive keg options...what with our fine friends at Woodruff and Bearden Beer Market leading the way. Pilot abides, as ever. Krogers and some of the nicer Ingles supermarkets will sell kegs in some capacity, and we've even seen a quick trip to Wallyworld bear some fruit. With great keg, comes great responsibility so choose your primary provider carefully. I mean, at least as much scrutiny as one's physician, since you'll be needing a score of those(conjecture).

Recently, during our trip to the Thunder Nationals, we had to go back to a fuck ton of bottled and canned beer which brings the usual logistical concerns. How much do we need? Coolers necessary? Of course, we started with a figure-and then doubled it. We still felt uneasy with that seemingly insignificant sum, so we invoked boozer pincet, by which we also buffet that beer with well over a gallon of liquor.

Terrible, terrible things.

Since it was frowned upon to wheel a keg in the grandstands anyway, we took our estimate for cooler ice and doubled it.

Still woefully inadequate, it turned out. Fortunately enterprising locals saved our asses by driving the ice truck from campsite to campsite. We salute this man for his American character and spirit. His timely delivery allowed all eight cases to perish with honor. He and Mackey engaged in a 20 minute conversation for some reason.

So as we return to the free-flowing greatness that is keg beer, we think back to that fuzzy and vague weekend with great fondness. At least kegerators don't require some hoary Norse iceman to pull our nuts out of the fire.

Sweet!

2010-07-01T23:56:00.004-04:00

As you know, we are big Maker's Mark consumers. We've consistently chosen this winner for about a decade now due to its fine taste, great lore and tradition, and it's potent punch. But first, here's a picture taken from our recent trip to the Thunder Nationals.

The pineapple is emphasized. You can gauge this hefty bastard as a handle. We clobbered it, of course.

I digress, and now I get to my point. We Maker's Ambassadors have been told for months now to expect a new product from those fine people and we are thrilled with the release of "46" with the first bottles being dipped literally days ago. While it might be a while yet before we can drink them off the shelves, rest assured we'll give a full update.

Heheheh

2010-06-29T05:54:00.000-04:00

Goodbye Manhattan's

2010-06-28T17:05:00.000-04:00

A downtown / Old City favorite closed its doors just as I was reacquainting myself (and liver) with one of the coolest places I’ve known during the time I’ve been in Knoxville. It’s last call for Manhattan’s. The place had a good run. It was a dependable standby for drinks though lean and good years. It was never trendy, obnoxious, or pretentious. It was a smoking bar. They served good food at decent prices. The bartenders were bar veterans and usually drunks who worked their job honorably out of passion and commitment, not as privileged assholes. And they poured a good drink.

Some Thoughts

2010-06-23T17:56:00.007-04:00

Things have been quiet around here for a while. Not that we haven’t been doing our share of drinking. Hell, maybe we’ve been boozing even more than usual, thus the lack of posts. Here is a bit of what’s been going on.

Pool drinking – Our friend upgraded his backyard pool to include a tiki bar that has kept things interesting. A pool is always a fun summertime destination. Throw in a HDTV, homemade kegorater, stocked bar/freezer and you’ve got some drinking to do. Wasted days and wasted nights indeed, thank you Freddy Fender.

Heat – if the insufferable heat doesn’t send you to the watering hole I don’t know what will. I mean, damn, it’s been too hot to go patio drinking. But I’ve noticed they’ll serve you indoors all the same. If that doesn’t work for you just load of the fridge with cold beer and sit on your ass drinking. I do it all the time.

NHRA weekend – a few of us loaded up and went to Bristol for the drag races. It was a hell of a motor event that impressed on many levels. More impressive was the sport-drinking we displayed. I won’t cover the entire list, let’s just say several cases of beer and over a gallon of Maker’s and Stoli didn’t make the trip back. Also a few other observations about the race:

Bloody bulls and marys are a good way to start any day

Lots of moustaches around the race track

An alarming amount of male nipple rings on display

Lots of rebel flags

The campground ice delivery truck was impressive

Mrs. Owl made an appearance
Drunk breakfast tastes just as good on the road

Sometimes you have to make your own shorts in the stands (not us BTW)

World Cup – Eh. We’ve covered this before. None of us are soccer fans. Nil. There has been a small effort to keep up with the USA squad but not much. I’ve personally been able to drink during two of our three games so I feel pretty good about that. The next game is this Saturday afternoon and I’m pretty sure there will be some beer consumed then. Looking forward to facing off against the Black Stars on their own continent.

Edit - Mrs. Owl is fashionably late.

World Cup Fever

2010-06-14T14:51:00.000-04:00

Have you heard about it? Apparently Patrick Sullivan's in the Old City didn't get the notice. I'm no soccer fan but I wanted to take in the USA vs. England match to experience the hype and hopefully see an exciting game at the highest level. King Randall The Insufferable and I decided to meet at a bar to watch the game, and naturally we waited until the last minute to choose our venue. The obvious downtown locations, Soccer Taco and Crown & Goose, were standing room only. I was already in the Old City and Sullivan's was open so I pressed my face to the window and saw a mostly empty bar. Great, problem solved.

It was only a few minutes until match time (kickoff?). The small TV behind the bar was tuned to something else and the large TV above wasn't even turned on. The single patron at the bar paid his tab and left. A soccer-seeking couple entered and left immediately, disappointed by the lack of soccer hooligans I suspect. So there I sat alone until KRTI strolled in. We had the game switched on the small TV. Eventually other patrons arrived and some were actual soccer fans there to watch the game, though not very many. The game was put on the big TV, a few more customers came in and the game turned out to be a dud, at least in my opinion. The USA earned a 1-1 draw on a lucky goal that was muffed by the English goal keeper. Overall it was a good time and the lack of soccer enthusiasm at Sullivan's didn't matter that much at all. The best part of the "experience" was a 4 -5 beer head start on the rest of the day.

Sign of the Times

2010-06-08T11:03:00.003-04:00

“Icing”. It sounds cool but it isn’t. This isn’t cake decorating or a hockey foul. I’m talking about Smirnoff Ice, so that should be enough to let you know something is seriously wrong. A phenomenon is growing across the country and it may have already infected citizens in our own town – LVL has shown symptoms that cause concern for my own well being. I’d heard about icing before but it wasn’t until a couple of weeks ago when the guys at Kissing Suzy Kolber gave us a big taste of what this has become. (Go ahead and read it, I’ll wait)

Yeah, I think Darnell has the right idea, but not everyone is a huge NFL player that can knock the hell out of anybody trying to front an Ice. So here are the rules of engagement, straight from the dedicated Icing website: Bros Icing Bros. (Yes, there is an official website.) Go out in public at your own risk. My strategy is to avoid all frat parties, strip mall bars and anywhere else Smirnoff products are served. You’ve been warned.

Not all smiles und sunshine

2010-06-03T22:21:00.009-04:00

Mackey's last post, coupled with a less than impressive trip to a local watering hole, has reminded me how fortunate I have been with the general quality of overall service I receive in this town. I'm not really even talking about places where I'm a regular, or even merely a familiar face for the most part. Just another thirsty hooligan in a new place, off the street like a common mendicant type stuff.

Some places around here fail because it was a bad idea, bad location, bad service, bad management...you name it. We as customers can bitch about a lot of things, and if you actually want the place to improve sometimes we need to speak with management right damn now. Constructive remarks delivered with a rational(and if you worked in the industry-sympathetic) tone can really help.

Recently, I've encountered two separate instances where service was both slow and apathetic. That's a rotten experience that will kill off a return customer pronto. I can overlook a lot of things like mechanical failures(shit happens) or being out of a beer/menu item. Hell, I even expect a small pour from time to time. You can talk with management without delivering a reprimand to the over-worked server or the short-handed kitchen. Many places that have a successful vision in place will welcome the chance to improve...if not, well then those joints aren't long for Knoxville in any case. Wade confidently into their midst and f'em.