Knoxville Christmas Spirits

O Whisky Season

Drinking Gatlinburg

Gatlinburg has more to offer than outlet shopping, the national park and Flapjack breakfast restaurants. While it is difficult to ignore those things, along with air brushed shirts, Airsoft guns and old timey photos, you can find other things to do in the South’s finest tourist location if you put forth just a little bit of effort. Our group went up for the weekend and managed to have a pretty good time doing what we do best – crafting. No, that’s a lie. We drank a lot of booze and feasted on steak dinners all weekend. (Hint - that’ a recipe for success just about anywhere you go.)

A few notes:


Set up a personal bar in the hotel room as soon as you check in. It is a very comfortable feeling knowing that no matter what happens during your stay that you will have your favorite adult beverage waiting for you in the privacy of your room. You'll need to have this for front-loading purposes but it serves as an emergency backup in case you get separated from the group or simply cut off at the hotel bar.

The Peddler is a fine restaurant that serves a delicious rib eye steak dinner. The salad bar is exquisite and the servers aren't above serving shots of bourbon and tequila between dinner courses (see LVL's previous post). Everyone's entrees were perfect and service was outstanding. I envision a return trip to this place, hopefully sooner than later.

And there were bloody marys. We were strolling the strip looking for our next watering hole to enjoy a nice, cold beer when we saw the sign at McCutchan's Bar & Grill advertising the world's finest bloody mary. Well, tempted by such a claim we sauntered into the bar "area" and ordered 4 of the bastards. A "regular" took our order and placed it with the barmaiden who began making our cocktails. Soon enough a nice server with a heavy eastern European accent delivered our bloodys and we drank 'em down. Yes, they were very good but sadly I do not think they were the world's best, sorry McCutchan. We moved on our way and within 2 blocks we saw another sign advertising the "world's best bloody mary". Shit. We'd been had but there was no way I was about to go in to comparison shop.

We opted to drink atop the mountain at Ober Gatlinburg instead. Good call. Although the options were limited once we reached the lodge, the bar was open, prices weren't too bad and the service was good. Mission accomplished. We moved on to Pucker's and Hoggs & Honeys to wrap up our drinking on the strip before returning to the hotel for dinner (another steak) and drinks. All in all I'd say it was a regal experience, and I'd like to make it back there without waiting 10 years between visits next time.

Disturbing Trends in Dinner Prickery

So, this past weekend some members the group got the H out of dodge and pub crawled in a new town. There is something profoundly necessary about dealing with Holiday and impending winter related stress by taking one's shit on the road. A good rule is that at least one full day should be devoted to the crawl proper. Find a tasty Bloody Mary and then just go into the afternoon with an open mind. The details...such as those regarding our destination, fade into obscurity. Unnecessary even.

During these adventures, the mind often embraces its creative side. New things are tried, experimentation keeps everyone on their toes. Such was the setting for a Mackey-LVL contest of wills and livers.

The setting was a fine restaurant, where our group initially made reservations but always looking for the quickest way to continue the drinking(of course we started way before, don't judge us Puritan) we found a table in the lounge. Full service of course, or the victory is hollow. Time saved: 25 minutes from the initial reservation. We were victims of our own smug success, since we would have to slam our drinks seated.

To Mackey's initial surprise, I informed the server that we two gentlemen would need whisky shots-in a hurry. He didn't disappoint and those warm bastards arrived right before the salad.

LVL: 1, Mackey Nil. To be fair, I didn't enjoy the contrast in flavor either, but shit it had to be done. Pro-A strong opening move. Con-tasted like pain.

Not to be outdone, Mackey retaliates with a strong counter to the pre-salad bourbon: The mid-meal tequila. Nothing like chilled Patron to make you appreciate the next bite of prime rib or steak. The mouth is alternately confused and then grateful.

Pro-A devastating blow to my dinner morale. Con-sparks profanity in a setting unaccustomed to such prickery. LVL: 1, Mackey: 1. Push.

Final word? Neither of us want to go through that again. It was just pointless once everyone regained the faculty of civilized speech. No, I'll go further and admit it was a terrible idea. In summary, learn from the shitheaded behavior documented here. The lesson is that you should cockpunch your friends with a belt of Wild Turkey AFTER the last bite.

Drunken Jukebox 6 - Shots

Behold the Drunken Jukebox: Music to Motivate Your Liver. A little bit country, a little bit rock 'n roll, punk, rap, hip hop and pop crap, old or new - all musical genres and periods are open for exploitation. Quarters and crisp dollar bills not required.

Shots. It’s a single word that gets right to the point of drinking. Just saying it aloud let’s everyone know that it’s about to be ON. You’re about to drink some booze and don’t give a damn who knows it. Add a question mark and it’s an invitation from your friends or bartender to get down to business. It doesn’t get much more clear-cut than shots.

LMFAO and Lil Jon pretty much nail the idea here. They seem to "get it".





shots?

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down

Wasting? Yes. Out of work and down? No sir, although I am duly grateful during this foul oconomy. Thus with another Drinking for Vengeance in the books with the usual ceremonial JP lyric, we move into Whiskey Season right and proper on the first of December. During the holiday period with your exhaustive shopping and nauseating office parties, we remind you to hit the Makers, Jamesons, or Glenlivet early and often. Even if you only have a few minutes...and especially if you are at your wit's end with the droning shoppers and the hell of holiday traffic then its time to get stinko. You can find refuge nearly anywhere if you don't give in like a dandy.

Warm, inviting, non-judging...is there anything it can't do?