Downtown Grill & Brewery - Drinks and Smokes

DGB is hosting another one of those "hey, come and sip some whiskey samples and end up buying a shit ton more" tastings today.There will be music, cigars and of course product education and discussion for those who care about the finer details. Maybe some swag & trinkets, guest distiller, Demi or Jack? The Jim Beam family of spirits will be featured among others I would guess. Light up, drink and enjoy the show.

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2011 Brewers Jam

Yes, I ended up going after all. There's nothing like a last minute ticket to an event that you really wanted to go to but thought that you couldn't. Actually I got the good news the night before and celebrated by drinking way too much and making an ass of myself. Saturday was filled with text messages and verbal accounts of my erratic, drunken behavior: stumbling, rambling to strangers, shouting, unjustified prick point assessments, questionable random hookup, calling people by the wrong name, ditching a bar buddy - you get the idea.

Saturday's hangover wasn't too bad and I slept most of it off by noon. The first order of business was retrieving my ride, left downtown overnight. By the time I returned home the line for KBJ was moving and I went inside about an hour later. The weather this year was perfect, sunny and around 70. It was unusual to pace myself, knowing I had an obligation that evening, but I managed 4-5 samples and a bbq sandwich from Sweet P's that satisfied my cravings. I talked to a few friends, visited a few displays, then got the hell out of there before I lost my discipline.

Thanks to Tag for the extra pass, cheers!

Quentin Tarantino

Yes, that Quentin Tarantino. He was walking down Gay St. minding his own business when we noticed that a guy walking down the street looked just like him. It was. He kept walking and disappeared down the street. About 15 minutes later he was sitting at a DGB patio table with folks and carrying on a lively conversation.

Our group maintained some control and didn't run over for pictures, autographs, etc. - though it was slightly tempting. For a fortunate guy who happened to be wearing a Reservoir Dogs t-shirt, Fate demanded an audience with the writer and director, and he was rewarded with a signature across the front. Very cool.

Interlude

Those were drinking days, and most men drank hard.

-A Tale of Two Cities

Boy that was some shit Monday huh? If the actual shock of sitting through that solid mass of water wasn't a kick enough for the balls, the cringing at seeing so many up to their asses in that nasty mess certainly will. Once again, Mother Nature brings the heat and I'll be damned if she doesn't have one more ace up her sleeve. Of course, we recommend copious boozing to erase the taste of this event, and while you are at it lend a hand to those with damaged homes and vehicles.

So before I tell you why it's time to get back to drinking, let me first preface by saying that the good people here with the Second Harvest Food Bank got walloped and lost a good bit of supplies. Worse, there is damage to their hardware which complicates the already tenuous collection effort. I am told there is an ad hoc and improvised effort from our friends at Downtown Grill and Brewery to organize aid for Second Harvest, so if you are a local business that can help there is a good place to start. In addition, one can always donate directly at the effort's website:

http://www.secondharvestknox.com/ as well learn more about what they are facing after the waters receded.

Okay, now for some motivation. Today is Beer Day in Iceland, where Reykjavik recognized the complete folly of 75 years of prohibition and allowed beer (as we know it) to resume its rightful place in 1989. Hoist one if you need a reason to drink on a Tuesday(we do not).

Also on March 1st(or 2nd in some climes) is the commemoration of the Feast of Vesta, the ancient ritual where the hearth fire was stoked.

Not exactly the Bacchanal but it's a start and a reason to shake off the Whiskey Season and look to the future. So in that spirit, lets get ready for proper Spring drinking-St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner, as well as a needed get-the-fuck-out-of-town happy fun times.

Happy Birthday Downtown Grill & Brewery

Have a party DGB, you deserve it now that you’re 8 years old. That’s eight downtown years and going strong. Let’s face it, the brewery has grown into a hugely successful gathering place and watering hole that accommodates pretty much any damn thing you need: great beer and bar deals, lots of space, patios, gaming, varied menu and yes, shots.

I hear they have live music for the party this Friday and Saturday.

Friday 21st – The Pop Rox

Saturday 22nd – The Dead Ringers

Meet the Makers

Maker's Mark Distillery will be at Downtown Grill & Brewery this Thursday. They're hosting an Ambassador meeting but everyone is welcome to attend for free. These meetings are pretty fun to attend and a good way to learn more about their product and get some freebies. Plus they offer an excellent excuse to get out and drink some whisky. Try to go if possible and I recommend signing up as an Ambassador if you aren't one already. Basically it is a loyalty program that keeps you up to date with recipes and special offers at events like the Kentucky Derby.

At this meeting, none other than Maker's Mark President Bill Samuels Jr. will be present to lead the evening, though I've fallen for that one before. It doesn't matter who shows up because it's hard not to have a good time with a bunch of whisky drinkers. Also, the Brewery has consistently been Knoxville's leading consumer of Maker's Mark - a fact the humble authors of this blog are proud to be a part of. Go there, it will be a good time.

Place: Downtown Grill & Brewery, 424 Gay St.
Date: 10-14-10
Time: 6:00 PM - 9:00 PM, tasting sessions at 6:30 and 7:30

Loose Ends

Wooo, boy. Yeah. Whoa, um, yeah. That was a pretty good weekend - good meaning not doing a damn thing, nothing constructive anyway.

We managed to do some heavy drinking on Saturday before the town froze over, leaving Sunday open for R &R including sipping bourbon. I’ve been covered up with work lately and haven’t had time to go on a proper bender or make a fool of myself (ok, once) so I’ve not posted in a while and thought I’d wrap up a couple of small tidbits.

2009 Prick of the Year is Atlas. Those of you who know us personally already suffer him enough and realize this accomplishment is nothing new since he is a previous winner. For the rest of you, imagine a big, stout, gruff SOB quick to accuse you of fault regardless of the situation. Whether you’ve spoken on a particular matter or not, it makes no difference. Strategic, deceptive, ornery – usually all at once, yet compelling in irrational ways that confound the senses, you’ll find yourself on the losing end of a conversation you didn’t start. Those are the good days. Major offenses that carried him to the 2009 prize were his multiple, lame excuses to avoid interaction with the group. Some examples:

· No money
· Work (when unemployed)
· No insurance (he sells insurance)
· License expired
· Tags expired
· No health insurance
· The cats
· The in-laws
· The wife
· Illness
· Hockey
· Too cold

Yeah whatever, LVL has heard them all.

There is Woo in Rocky Top – Or at least there was, and No, I'm not talking about the song. That’s Frank McWoo, DK’s one and only Utahn who makes the annual pilgrimage to Knoxville during the coldest time of year. Woo made his unannounced appearance last week with none other than Catfish in town too. Sorry, P was unavailable but we retold at least a dozen old time stories and even some great new ones I was unaware of. We had a few pints at the brewery and went to Nama for sushi, only to return to the brewery for more beer afterwards. Good times, and the stories get better year after year.

Guess that’s about all for now. I’ve got to find a way to drink my way through 2 new bottles of whiskey I acquired over the weekend – a fifth each of Maker’s Mark and Woodford Reserve*. It may be another couple of weeks before I’m back around these parts.

Edit - Woodford Reserve provided by 2009 POY Winner Atlas. It makes no sense.

Last Minute New Year's Eve

If you’re anything like the rest of us around here you already know what doing on New Year’s Eve: Drinking. That doesn’t mean you know Where you’re drinking, just that you’ll be drinking somewhere. There are many ways to drink away the last night of the year, and below is a variety of last minute ideas to get you into 2010. (Sorry north, south and east Knoxville) Who knows, maybe we can all get together for that drink we’ve been talking about? Uh, no, I’ll be staying home watching the Vols and drinking bourbon. Feel free to comment on your plans or other options. Thanks to everyone for stopping by to check us out throughout the year. Here’s to more fun in 2010, cheers!

Downtown/Market Sq.
Club Le Conte – Society Only
Downtown Grill & Brewery – The rest of us
Le Parigo - Wonder if the duck was shipped in from Alsace?
Preservation Pub – Tiki party
Valarium & Cider House – VooDoo NY10 with downtown Hilton hotel package

The Old City
Barley’s Taproom – The usual, live music and good beer selection
Patrick Sullivan’s – Live music and the bar is open
The Crown & Goose – The Old City’s fanciest gastropub!
The Melting Pot – Someone tell Tony there’s a reservation on line 2.

The Strip
BAR Knoxville – Er, maybe not?
Tin Roof – UT Basketball, UT Football. Let’s face it, there’s no way you’re sober at midnight.
Level 10 – Short West

West Knoxville
Baker Peters Jazz Club – Damn that chicken entrée sounds delicious
Northshore Brasserie – Everything looks delicious
Paul’s Oasis – WTF
Ray’s ESG – Scarlett O’Harlot, where are you?

Efficiency

As in uptight German efficiency, but you know, with beers. Also, the Krauts* are big on revenge so it fits with the season. That's pretty much the end of the correlation though.

We pride ourselves on attaching useless numbers and values to our drinking. For example, we prefer to boat on a craft with a high BPH quotient. What's that? Why Beer-Per-Hour value of course. The performance of the boat itself is meaningless if you can't get drunk in a hurry and remain shitfaced for hours on end. A speedboat that may haul ass is thus useless if it cannot support enough cooler space for the thirsty passengers. Conversely, a lumbering cruiser is useless if it takes too long to get back to dock for more beer** even if it can otherwise maintain a large number of boozers for a set time. A few years back yours truly and venerated compatriot Sweet Tooth tried to knock back the little 8 oz bastards of High Life...thinking that they would get colder faster and not have the lukewarm dregs we all face towards the end of a longneck.

Big. Fucking. Mistake. We went through two full packs of those little bastards before taking the first turn out of the dock. Turn back around, try again. Conversely, drinking tall boys on the lake is also disrecommended. Takes too long, beer gets warm, and the BPH suffers accordingly...to say nothing of how dumb a koozie looks on them.

Back to the last night. We are, of course, mug club members from waaaaaay back. Drinking on Tuesdays at the Brewery is cheap and you get loaded on IPA pints. Add the four ounces extra from the mug and you are getting the best deal in town. That's the truth. You can roll out of there for right at ten bucks(tip them well though) and be quite polluted.

Beerficiency is not a mere matter of ounces though, timing is also key. Every sound drunkard should be aware of specials and where to get soused on the cheap. Turns out that Wednesdays at the Brewery are quite good as well. Two-dollar pints(same as happy hour) for club members. Still the best deal, but the added 50 cents*** reduces the beerficiency accordingly.

Also timing is key. A new club member these days will have to wait for the bartender to fetch their mug...depending on how new you are, that is akin to Herakle's labors. Whereas we old fucks have ours on the low rung and the employee can get it, fill it, and you drink it quick as Pan. Beerficiency is a tricky thing, so I encourage each reader here to ask: "Am I really making the best use of my time and drinking dollar?"

For purposes of this action, I'm not including drinking at home in this formula...sure it's cheap to drink a twelve pack, but that's not entirely the point. Ridicule is also a part of this science. You can tell your dog or cat at home that you are shitfaced on Southpaw and they won't care. Smugly reminding the aging trollop with the nine dollar appletini**** that she's needlessly wasting cash is something else entirely. Mockery and pettiness are driving factors here at DK.


* The ones driving Panzers, not the pussies of today
**Buying boat dock beer is for fucking idiots
***Be certain to point out the outrage of paying the extra 50 cents
****Appletinis suck beyond belief and therefore you for ordering one

Self-diagnosis

I'm not talking about groping tit or nut to feel for the Big C. Nay, my concern is the dreaded and highly disturbing fear of empty glasses-Cenosillicaphobia. Sure there are larger and more complex issues for the beer-drinking body politic, but none more personal than this demon. While we drink with a vengeance, let us prosecute the war against this scourge.

Many times I get a feeling of unease as I gape at a rapidly depleted pint. Dear Lord, what if it goes dry soon? Where is the bartender? Am I expected to fill my own mug, thus confronting my worst nightmare? Awful.

When I first came to grips with my illness, I was just out of college. Before seeking gainful employment, I decided that during the interlude I would two-fist frequently. My mind recoiled in horror at the obvious problem belied by this otherwise noble effort. Should I sip both at the same time? Is it cheating to chug one and concentrate on the other? These rotten questions were pushed aside as the bottom came closer and closer...mocking me...blah, blah, blah.

Fortunately, upon the advice of charlatans and witch-doctors I discovered that the best way to end this crippling and debilitating fear by closing ones eyes and then gulp your way to metaphysical bliss. Speak proudly to the barmaid for another. Tell your asshole friend to get his shit to the kegerator. Stroll proudly into the store for more booze early in the morning. Don't judge me, retiree, I've got an illness and I'm out of beer. This is post-modern America after all, everyone's got some baggage like this.

I would propose a therapy group, but honestly I can't help any of you. Recommend instead you go to the Brewery tonight and let those $1.50 pints salve your battered soul. Explore your rich inner landscape and spear your inner demon right in the taint.

Before and After

What a good night. Mellow Gold-esque. Leading into our 2nd annual drunken breakfast feast I have been priming my liver for what will be a full onslaught of boozing and bad behavior. Never far from peak performance it doesn't take much to get in form, but I figured that I better not leave anything to chance, else my aged body turn against me, so I went downtown to the brewery last night for a taste of Irish whiskey. I had just a single shot along with a few beers after I sampled a sub sandwich from their newish late night menu, and everything was perfect. Never one to quit when I'm ahead I decided to walk over to Preservation Pub for a couple more drafts. Just a few, nothing more, and it turned out to be a nice, mellow night. Enough so that I slept in longer than expected and required some high-octane java to get me going. I decided to try Remedy in the Old City for a cup o'joe and it did the trick. DBII will not offer this sober option of coffee. Bring on the Jameson.

Randoms

A few miscellaneous thoughts...

1. If there is a finer bargain in Knoxville than Downtown Grill & Brewery's $1.50 pint night I'd like to hear it. As you know, the authors are quite keen on Tuesday night drinking. It breaks up the post-Monday malaise quite well. Now the Brewery is doing a brisk trade in bottled wine Tuesday evenings as well. It's a little bizarre, swilling wine in a place predicated on brewing beer...but hard to fault the idea. I must have seen a dozen bottles being served last night, so they are on to something. Plus, the regulars are on standby for any largesse. (cough, cough)

2. Always be prepared to run into an old friend. Also, be prepared to flee if it appears they are having much more fun than you are...lest your bar tab pay the proverbial price. This can be further complicated when you come across ANOTHER old friend. The entire idea for $1.50 night is getting polluted on the cheap, and such reunions are dangerous if mishandled.

3. Goddamn rain. Drink your way through it.

Grasshopper

In terms of willpower, I'm usually the weakest at happy hour. What I mean is that while yours truly will find a reason to get good and tucked at any time of the day or night these recent years have found me the most likely to buckle to pressure(peer or otherwise) right after work or early afternoon. Curious? Not really.

A wise man once said that the 'why' of any situation is secondary to the situation itself so let's hold off the enabling catalyst for just a second. Sunday afternoon I was roused from my hangover by a simple text indicating brunch(our definition of brunch is tilted more towards the booze side) at the Brewery. Even though I was milling about like some filthy hobo I was tidied, decently clothed, and on the road like a shot. You see I love drinking in the daylight, particularly at the Brew Pub. The authors have often talked about the joy of getting two-three strong beverages in the morning(indeed: drunk breakfast) and my enthusiasm does not wane in the afternoon. Strong IPA and shots followed of course, and the other denizens of downtown received a full bore viewing of the irresponsible cads I call drinking buddies.

But is it irresponsible? I know that some elements of society frown on getting a drink before the evening. Those elements can get fucked. Their views are as flawed as their inbred genetics. I've worked in an office environment since college and during that time I've seen countless studies on productivity, absenteeism, health, and all sorts of idiotic musings on booze and how it affects the American worker. Only in the fucked up days of HR departments do people waste time on this shit.

In the postwar era, particularly early on, there was a healthy number of Americans that boozed at work...and I don't mean the elegant functional bar the boss would have for entertaining. No, I mean said boss and his lieutenants would wink at the common drone with a fifth in his/her desk. The atmosphere was relaxed and productive because during those days people weren't nearly as nuts(conjecture, possible bullshit) and could handle both work and a slight buzz. As with all good things this awesome practice was buried during more recent decades(see uptight HR) and instead employees were encouraged to get shit-housed right after work at happy hour. This was the dominant trend in the 70's and 80's. Don't believe me? Go dig up any old beer commercial and you'll see at least half of them placed in such a setting.

(how awesome was this show...fuck you CBS)

Now these days every pussy and twat would prefer you not drink or smoke and indeed seek help...going so far in some extreme cases as to make weekend-only drinking a condition of employment.

Happy hour also has strong roots in basic productivity. For those in sales or a related field, a casual drink after hours might prove essential in landing an account or client. It would calm down a weary police officer or emergency worker. It would break the ice for a relationship and so on.

The south in general and Knoxville in particular is only now easing the outdated laws that have prevented such outings. Sunday mornings are no longer quite as restricted from a beer-buying perspective and in the past decade many local pubs and eateries are catering to a early morning brunch crowd.

It probably would be a poor decision if most of us just decided to take multiple days off and jeopardize our livelihoods(and thus the wherewithal to drink more) by rolling into a bar in the morning. That's not to say you're a shitty person if you decided to do so a once or twice on a jobsick/barwell kinda day. Indeed, in this age with many people working third shift or living in a large city that runs 24/7 you probably will fit right in with a new crowd of people all wanting to get tore up with you. Might make some friends.

If this a consular ship, where is the ambassador?

Or something like that. Anyway, tonight at the Downtown Grill & Brewery...affectionately truncated simply as "The Brewery" the good folks at Maker's Mark will be holding a small event for their aficionados-known as Ambassadors, of which yours truly and other close friends of this blog are proud (and card-carrying) members. This is the third such event we have attended at DGB in recent years...acquiring the inside knowledge of Maker's Mark products, lore, and their fine staff and family. It runs tonight from 5PM to 7PM in the official sense, although any reasonable drunkard will conclude their boozing business much, much later. Drop on by if you are in the area, or you can fuck off to another watering hole where you get two for one Bud Lights or similar lightweight faggotry that is usually reserved for dipshits.

Is it Monday Already?

Man, one thing I didn’t account for when starting this little blogging experiment is time management. It seems like most of my free time is spent either drinking or recovering from drinking. In between I manage to sleep (some) and work (too much), then the cycle repeats. It kinda makes it difficult to keep track of all the “blog worthy” crap our group comes up with, and honestly I’ve had to make up 60-75% of the posts here to compensate for my alcohol-soaked, memory challenged brain.

(my brain)

The hangover isn’t too bad this Monday. First let me update the Friday Predictions: not a damn one came true, except for the Vols non-loss because we all know they didn’t play. I take solace knowing I still have some whiskey at home. Saturday night was a good, easy-going time downtown with Lord von Lord and a surprise session with King Randall and his queen. We had some beer and only did a small number of shots/shooters compared to the usual all out assault on our livers. There was an awesome, smooth jazz band at the brewery too, probably one of the best bands I’ve seen there this year. Sunday was mostly uneventful, though I did get into a verbal confrontation with some of the Buddy’s walk-for-the-cure folks, who think just because they’re doing something for a special cause they can illegally park wherever the hell they want. Yes - I think it’s great to help others and support charities. NO - you can’t block my driveway/street with your SUV and leave it unattended. Move your ass!! I finished up the weekend at Sidestreet Tavern by having a few $2 beers and watching football with LVL.




Monday Night Football is the plan tonight: Browns vs. Bills = lots of beer and bourbon. That should get the week started in the right direction. Tomorrow the Skybox at the Sunsphere is hosting a Young Alumni function during happy hour from 5:30 – 7:30 that I’m considering attending. I’d like to see how many people actually show up and if there is enough room for everybody. I’ll let you know how things go…or I may fabricate something and just put it out there and see if it flies.