Quick Hit

On this day back in 82, some folks at NBC rolled out this little number:

Longevity. Norm. Cliff. Shelly Long with a career, Kirstie Alley during her "Hot" phase. Truly a bygone era, but it has allowed the dipshit network writers to throw out any mediocre product and expect it to succeed (on principle) because everyone loves a saloon as a headquarters.


Wine on the Water

This Friday I plan to attend my very first Wine on the Water fundraiser for Cystic Fibrosis at Volunteer Landing. Drinking for charity? Sign me up. I’m looking forward to good wine, food and hopefully nice weather during this early fall season. $50 - $60 gets you access to vendors from 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. and there will be live music performed by the Vibraslaps (also performing later that night at Preservation Pub). The price seems a bit steep but I believe it will be worthwhile. Obviously the money is going to charity and I think I can eat and drink enough in three hours to justify the expense. I heard they had a “gin tent” last year so I’m sure there will be a variety of adult beverages to sample besides wine. Details about tickets, parking, tasting stations, etc. can be found at the official website.


This is the reason...

that I can't stand the Tennessee Titans Houston Oilers. Just look at that ugly shit - worn by the head coach and entire coaching staff no less. Simply awful. Where is Bum Phillips and Dan Pastorini? Earl Campbell? It wouldn't matter, I hated the Oilers then almost as much as I do now. I need a drink to calm my nerve.


Picture Dump

Sometimes I take random picutes thinking they'll be good to use on the blog. Sometimes I even have ideas and thoughts for posting but often it just doesn't workout. Here are some of the failed pics that never made it . . . . until now.

At The Hill:

At the UT home opener. Nice:

Someone losing their shirt downtown:

A whiskey at the Hilton?

Wall St:

Wall St:

Wall St:

Even more Wall St:

Someone's lost shoe:

This old chestnut:


Great Drunks of the Silver Screen 10.0

Peter O'Toole. Duh.

Clearly a no-brainer, this Irishman represents the last vestiges of inebriate actors from the UK.

Strengths: Irish, incredible agent representation, clearly immortal

Weaknesses: Irish, fire, passing out on the floor, gendarmes

We've covered his compatriots before in this ignoble series of powerful functional drunks. Behold:

O'Toole has managed to avoid the Reaper longer than the remainder of this heady, notorious crew....a baffling accomplishment given his literally being born into a drinking household. His father was a tremendous drunk that often boozed with his son.

Since Mr. O'Toole is still alive and kicking, I will this single time omit his numerous acting credentials beyond his notable rendition of Lawrence in Lawrence of Arabia and his lesser known but much more excellent portrayal of Henry II in The Lion in Winter. How big are his acting chops? Well the ubiquitous Michael Caine was his understudy...and learning to live the debauched lifestyle of his mentor as well.

O'Toole set fire to many, many things. Notably, resort kitchens and usually his own bed. He also loathed last call, going so far as to purchase an Irish pub so they would continue to serve him. He of course cancelled the check the next morning. The owner had no hard feelings, and O
Toole attended his funeral...only to find in a daze that he was at the wrong one.

I rest much easier now that it is Fall 2009...as the Summer of Celebrity Death failed to take down this invulnerable drinking god.

Tin Roof – Sober Recon

I haven’t had an opportunity to visit the Tin Roof during prime drinking hours but I did some daytime recon to get an idea of what they have to offer. I went for lunch during their second week of business and to be honest the place was pretty empty. There were two tables with diners inside and a group on the patio. I grabbed a spot near the bar and ordered a sandwich then took a look around the place while I waited for my food.

They’ve definitely done a lot of redecorating that transforms the place into something completely different from O’Charleys. The space is very open presumably for the crowds they expect with live music performances. I can’t exactly put my finger on it but the d├ęcor falls somewhere between Joe’s Crab Shack and maybe Hooters. At the entrance you see a banner promoting the game day experience with big gulp specials and “after class” specials (aka happy hour) from 2 – 7 pm every day except UT home games.

I particularly like the welcome sign that encourages you quench your thirst with cold beer. Thanks for the reminder, too bad I wasn’t able to sample any drinks but they do appear to have a large draft selection with a fully stocked bar of booze. I don’t think anybody would have a problem finding a suitable beverage to get their fix.

The shrimp po’ boy I ordered arrived and I must admit that it was better than expected. The picture doesn’t do it justice but as you can see there were ample shrimp on the sandwich and the bread was especially good. The rest of the menu reads like any other casual restaurant around town: fried appetizers, salads, sandwiches and quesadillas. Nothing on the menu is going to stand out for uniqueness but based on the quality of the meal I had it seems they do a good job with these standards. I plan to go back for another visit and have some adult drinks to complete the experience.


Booze News

Just a friendly notice to all the thirsty folks out there, The Copper Cellar-Cumberland Grill edition is offering 99 cent draught after nine o'clock. According to their signage and the bartender, this is an everyday occurance. Since sometimes they tend to close around ten or shortly thereafter, think of this as a last-chance happy hour scenario.

The beers aren't pints, mind you-coming in the little 12 oz mugs...but that's still a nice little bargain from a joint that over the years has been anything but clear on its drinking agenda.

Many years ago, The Cumberland Grill was a desirable option for the bargain drinker during Happy Hour both in the week and all day Saturday. Since those halcyon days however, they have steadily raised prices and reduced their applicable hours. It was a real shame since our little ragtag group would descend on that place like locusts. I'll give credit where its due though, this is a step in the right direction.


One's Golden Years

One of my co-workers is retiring at the end of the month...as he visited my office today while otherwise wasting time, he told me that he plans on 'drinking and fucking' after he leaves. On the way out the door he looks back and tells me "Don't tell my wife though, she thinks I'm working till January."



Say it ain't so Bandit!

Burt Reynolds to enter rehab.


Word of Warning: Read the Menu

Sometimes you never know what you’ll get in life. There are going to be times when things don’t go your way and that’s just the way it is, it doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, good or bad. It can be major as a train wreck or insignificant as missing the bus, but really in hindsight most times you can identify the exact explanation that would or could have prevented a particular situation – had you only known it at that time.

I experienced one of these scenarios recently, the minor humorous variety. We were having food and drinks prior to the football game at The Hill. Needing an absorbing meal for obvious drinking reasons I wanted fries and a sandwich of some sort. Being an admitted fish and chips connoisseur addict (evidence here and here) I went for the fish sandwich that turned out to be pretty good, however the joke was revealed upon delivery. Had I only read the name of the sandwich I may have been prepared for the pun. We all had a good laugh with special thanks and appreciation to the dirty-minded bar waitress who made significant extra effort to ensure we had some fun. I present the Moby Dick sandwich.


Monday Hangover

Pretty good weekend from what I can remember. Let’s see, a relatively easy-going Friday night, had some drinks at the brewery and Soccer Taco late to end the night. Saturday was the Vols game vs. UCLA and we all know how that went. We started the day strong front loading and having food at The Hill before everyone met up at my Urban Bunker for lots more beer (R.I.P. beautiful IPA keg) and booze, Patron to be precise. I should know better than to shoot too much of that prior to kickoff – shit makes me all woozy and sleepy and that just doesn’t cut it on game day. With the disappointment of a close loss we had a letdown of enthusiasm but managed to drink our way through it anyway.

NFL football on Sunday made things better. Even though I didn’t have a keg full of beer there was plenty of vodka to nurse me through the 10+ hours of football viewing. Awesome. And there are 2 Monday Night Football games tonight, so that’s nice. I’m not even too disappointed that my team, The Bird lost its opener to the lowly SF 49ers because nobody suffered a worse loss than the Bengals weird finish. Those poor bastards just have the worst luck in the entire league, so better luck next time. Ok, I’ve got some Kraut-beer sitting cold in my fridge, so call me Doug ‘cause I’m outta here.

(Soccer Taco, big ass beer)


I'm ready for some football...

...so don't even ask, Bocephus.
That's right, it's football time in Tennessee! America. We had our glorious college football season opener last weekend and now it's time for the big boys. For the rest of the year and early 2010 we can count on televised football each and every weekend. "Fuck. Yes." I'll be stationed upon my meast-like couch, drinking beer and talking shit all the way. Later suckas...



September 4 @ 9:28 in particular rings true...and the old fart clearly hates Jim Beam.



Operational Pause

You may have noticed light posting this week, or you may not have paid the slightest bit of attention. Either way, go to Hell. This week isn't about your self-absorbed fantasy.

We're not on trial here.

Regular posting to resume in a few days. Buckle up, it's going to get bumpy...and blurry. Bad juju.

Celebrity Pitchman 2.0

Hey folks, glad to be here. I’ve only got a minute before I head out on the town – going to the club to show off some new moves I picked up in Prague. Got a few new ideas for the bull dance, plus I can’t wait to see Miriam. Anyway yeah, awesome being here, these guys drink just like we used to back in the era. Back when over-consumption meant something. Something like HAVING A GOOD FREAKING TIME ALL NIGHT LONG NOT KNOWING IF YOU WERE GOING TO LIVE TO THE NEXT DAY TO TELL ABOUT IT! Yeah. I’ve mellowed out since then (14 DUI’s) but I still got it. I don’t get to Knoxville as much as I used to since I moved from Atlanta, that’s why I check the blog when I visit town. Like the new bar listings they have going on the sidebar. Don’t like how my old buddies never seem to answer their phones or return my messages, but whatever. Seeing Miriam will make everything worthwhile, if you know what I mean. A few drinks, some dancing…

/winks, gyrates hips