Interlude

Those were drinking days, and most men drank hard.

-A Tale of Two Cities

Boy that was some shit Monday huh? If the actual shock of sitting through that solid mass of water wasn't a kick enough for the balls, the cringing at seeing so many up to their asses in that nasty mess certainly will. Once again, Mother Nature brings the heat and I'll be damned if she doesn't have one more ace up her sleeve. Of course, we recommend copious boozing to erase the taste of this event, and while you are at it lend a hand to those with damaged homes and vehicles.

So before I tell you why it's time to get back to drinking, let me first preface by saying that the good people here with the Second Harvest Food Bank got walloped and lost a good bit of supplies. Worse, there is damage to their hardware which complicates the already tenuous collection effort. I am told there is an ad hoc and improvised effort from our friends at Downtown Grill and Brewery to organize aid for Second Harvest, so if you are a local business that can help there is a good place to start. In addition, one can always donate directly at the effort's website:

http://www.secondharvestknox.com/ as well learn more about what they are facing after the waters receded.

Okay, now for some motivation. Today is Beer Day in Iceland, where Reykjavik recognized the complete folly of 75 years of prohibition and allowed beer (as we know it) to resume its rightful place in 1989. Hoist one if you need a reason to drink on a Tuesday(we do not).

Also on March 1st(or 2nd in some climes) is the commemoration of the Feast of Vesta, the ancient ritual where the hearth fire was stoked.

Not exactly the Bacchanal but it's a start and a reason to shake off the Whiskey Season and look to the future. So in that spirit, lets get ready for proper Spring drinking-St. Patrick's Day is right around the corner, as well as a needed get-the-fuck-out-of-town happy fun times.

More Music From Lt. Rocka

Yes sir, Lt. Rocka is up to his old tricks, mixing beats and mashing music from all generations with his very own unique style. Visit here to download Episode 15. Last evening I listened about half way through before I was called away for an impromptu drinking session so I haven’t heard all of it yet, but so far so good. Now, it’s one thing to go to the bar for a few cheap pints on a Tuesday (TND) as we often do. It’s completely different if by the end of the night your bartender is off duty and ready to drink, plus you run into “birthday girl” and shots are consumed. All of a sudden your tab is triple your original budget and the next morning your head is pounding and your eyes are on fire. So thanks LVL, I feel like hell today. Anyway, enjoy the music:

Chuck Brown & The Soul Searchers vs. The Zombies – Time of the Season
The Hood Internet – Decalogue
Jamaica – I Think I Like You 2
Yeasayer – O.N.E.
Etta James & Sugar Pie Desanto – In The Basement
Hot Chip – One Life Stand
Cults – Go Outside
Daft Punk – Megamix 1 [DJ Hero]
The Hood Internet (Dr. Dre vs Class Actress) – Nuthin’ But a Journal Thang
Timbaland feat Chris Cornell – Part of Me (Grand Theft Auto Remix)
J Dilla – Workinonit
Brian Eno and David Byrne – Regiment
Local Natives – Sun Hands
The Phenomenal Handclap Band – 15 to 20
The Beatnuts – Confused Rappers
First Rate People – Girls Night
INXS - One Thing (Nikko V Club Mix)
Black Devil Disco Club – On Just Foot
Charlotte Gainsburg (produced by Beck) – IRM
The National – Bloodbuzz Ohio
T-Bird and The Breaks – Monkey in the Tree

Stink-O Alert!

Stink-O! Stink-O! Stink-O! It’s time to get stink-o. Tonight, TND via bourbon at my place. This is a call to all DK contributors, past or present, to gather and drink until the drinkin’s done. W.L. Weller requests your presence and attentive liver around 8 pm. Supplies are limited so be prepared to bring more booze or shuffle onward to the bar for backup drinks. That is all.

Randoms

A few miscellaneous thoughts...

1. If there is a finer bargain in Knoxville than Downtown Grill & Brewery's $1.50 pint night I'd like to hear it. As you know, the authors are quite keen on Tuesday night drinking. It breaks up the post-Monday malaise quite well. Now the Brewery is doing a brisk trade in bottled wine Tuesday evenings as well. It's a little bizarre, swilling wine in a place predicated on brewing beer...but hard to fault the idea. I must have seen a dozen bottles being served last night, so they are on to something. Plus, the regulars are on standby for any largesse. (cough, cough)

2. Always be prepared to run into an old friend. Also, be prepared to flee if it appears they are having much more fun than you are...lest your bar tab pay the proverbial price. This can be further complicated when you come across ANOTHER old friend. The entire idea for $1.50 night is getting polluted on the cheap, and such reunions are dangerous if mishandled.

3. Goddamn rain. Drink your way through it.

Rain Haiku

Rainy weather sucks
Another boring Tuesday
Yeah I’ll drink tonight

The Irish Question

Well, lookee here. It seems the nation's second outright yearly excuse to get shit-housed has arrived.

Say what you will about the apocryphal origins of that snake-driving sumbitch, the end result these days is that we get to thumb our nose at any sort of responsibility to drink a metric fuck ton of booze.

I've posted in the past about my resentment of these holidays...which sends forth the amatuer to drink with the pros, the latter of whom recognize no drinking calendar other than "today." Bosses will be on the prowl in the morning, the uptight prohibitionists will sniff derisively at your bloodshot eyes and gamey stench.

Fuck them. As much as I don't care about St. Patrick's day per se(Lots of English blood, so I naturally wish to oppress them) I will side with the dysfunctional Irish over the sober. After all, we get polluted on Tuesdays by rote.

Hopefully each of you has a bar in mind for today, so I'll spare you the various activities that are advertised in the local papers and leave you with a simple charge: Consume.

Deep Fried TND

A time honored tradition amongst our group occurred last evening, and for the 2nd straight year it coincided with our weekly homage to boozing during the week. Combine a fried food feast with Tuesday Night Drinks and you get Deep Fried TND! It was a smaller group this year but we managed to have a pretty good time and consumed way too much cholesterol and booze.

Our hosts were able to contain their 3 jungle cats long enough for us to set up the bar and fryer. We took care of the rest. Drinks: Maker’s Mark, Booker’s, 2 bottles red wine, brown ale, IPA, Coors Original. Fried foods: turkey breast & thighs, okra, hush puppies, spinach fritters, fish & chips. Additional foods: deviled eggs, slaw, and baked cookies.

Hangovers that follow nights like this aren’t as bad as you might think. Mainly because alcohol isn’t the main problem your body has to deal with, it’s the grease coursing through your veins and clogging up everything. A bigger issue I have to deal with today is holiday traffic. Damn, I already hate making the long drive across state, but holiday drivers make it so much more damn miserable. So wish me luck, I have two days of sober family time that may kill me. Shit, I still have to pack. Plus I really need to find my flask before I hit the road…

An Open Letter-

to the wretched androgyne wading amongst us last night at the pub. Oh, is it a boy or a girl? How clever. How very 1990's Imperial Drag.

Look, you would repulse me enough based upon your mannish attire, worn in such a way to obscure any potential mammaroid sightings. Your walk is indicative of the chain-wallet crowd, and your fake tan is baffling given it is summer and you could obtain some shade via natural means. Most stunning at all is your choice of hairstyle, known to all as the Horn of Aggression. Get a load of these examples:
















Sweet merciful Jesus. Death take me quickly. You realize, sexless man-woman, that this particular abortion of style has unsophisticated roots long documented in cave drawings?
Get the message? No? I will elaborate further, you shame yourself and worse yet everyone around you as every bar patron is forced to contend with your personal choice. The beer tastes flatter, and no one knows which bathroom you are going to use. It's extremely poor form.

If being compared to a Cro-Magnon, Neatherthal, or Australopithecines doesn't motivate you to change, allow me to also point out you resemble the douchebags of Jersey or Long Island. I mean, we've all seen these cliched pics circulating around Al Gore's internet for years now, but since you didn't get the memo:


I weep for the future. Until nuclear artillery is an option, please stay the F out of my bar.