Roosters-New Draft Beers!!!‏

Lazy Magnolia Southern Pecan (Photo credit: Speed-Light)

Summer Line up!
It's almost summer and that means it's time for new flavors on our taps! Try a Lazy Magnolia Southern Pecan, Sweetwater Roadtrip, Sam Adams Summer Ale, Pacifico Cerveza, Somersault Seasonal, 1554, Sierra Nevada Draught Style Pale Ale, Brooklyn Brown Ale, or a Dos Equis Lager Especial. Of course, all of your old favorites are still here as well! Stop by and try a new favorite, or enjoy an old favorite!

(via Rooster's newsletter)

Bar Review: Sidestreet Tavern

Oddly, the blur in the photo closely mirrors my drunk ass vision at the time.

Today we review another of the 'short west' bars, this one firmly lodged in the quaint little mess...er maze of Homberg Place. Sidestreet Tavern looks to be a converted dentist or doctor's office from the 1970's, that is to say a weird layout and floorplan. For example, there are two bars of modest size on opposite ends of the place. To be fair, both bars are suitably equipped and comfortable...well placed televisions and perhaps the rarest of all bar gems--a damn jukebox with a proper artist list and volume keyed at just the right level. Bonus: Cute girl at the bar with musical taste at said jukebox. So far so good.

One of the weirder aspects of this place is the upstairs area. It's basically an open area that reeks of a converted bedroom or office. Cozy couches and some bar games give it the appearance of someone's living room. Seems a pretty cool place to loiter, but you will have to navigate stairs to get a refill. As we all know, stairs/steps are the bane of the besotted drunkard so tread with care.

Sidestreet offers a standard pub fare on the menu...nothing outrageous to be found there, and they have a liberal happy hour policy from 3-8 everyday. Not bad at all, although that information would have been more helpful to me with more than six minutes remaining. Shit.

This is one of the dwindling number of bars in Knoxville that still permits smoking, so leave your kids at home(where they should be anyway, you jackasses) and prepare to launder your garments afterward.

Oh, and for the love of God, don't park in the kitschy antique store parking lot. Sumbitches will tow your ass, as the ubiquitous signs proclaim quite loudly.

So, if you are in this part of town and want to drink a few in a place other than the Toddy's consortium...you're in luck, Sidestreet will take good care of you. The service is impeccable and friendly.

Better Late Than Never

Well, lookie here. Scarlett O’Harlot is finally making her first appearance. Alert the media.

To all you assholes who doubted me (I mean, to all my dear friends), I apologize for taking so damn long to write. In my defense, I was on a Drinking Hiatus for a couple of months (read: rehab), and I really didn’t have much to contribute to the conversation. I’m here now, though (yay), and no, I wasn’t really in rehab (boo), just recovering from TMJ surgery. Which I don’t recommend.

And now for today’s topic: Drinking in Knoxville, “Short West.”

If you’re not familiar with the term “Short West,” it’s the name that the Knoxville Police Department uses to refer to the area of Knoxville between “Downtown” and (of course) “Long West.” I think it mainly encompasses Bearden, West Hills, and Cedar Bluff. I once did a police ride-along in the Short West “beat,” and that’s how I got all of this privileged information.

Here, I’m using it to refer to the area between Bearden, where I do the majority of my drinking (at the Back Door Tavern), and West Town Mall, where I do the majority of my shopping. (Not really. Actually, I do the majority of my shopping at Ashe’s Wine and Spirits.) For all intents and purposes, I'll use Northshore Drive and Morrell Road as the endpoints. There’s really no significance to me designating this portion of Kingston Pike as “Short West,” other than the point that I’m about to make, which is: Drinking in Knoxville, Short West seems to be at an all-time low.

Perhaps it’s a sign of The Recession (which may or may not be real, depending on whom you ask…kind of like global warming and Santa Claus), or maybe it’s just a sign of the boring-ness of the people in this area of town. Either way, the bars in Short West are having a hard time making it, and I, for one, am a little disappointed in the selection of drinking establishments that we’ve been left with.

First, there was the loss of The Spot. Sure it wasn’t the nicest place in town, but it had a decent patio and it wasn’t pretentious. At some point, I had heard rumors that the owners were going to open a second location and call it The Other Spot, but before that ever happened, they up and closed the original one. Which was unfortunate, really.

Next, there was the demise of Michael’s (due to some messy legal battles), followed by the rise of its alter-ego, The Palace, which also closed its doors recently. “Good food and fun since 1981” no more. A lot of people I know wouldn’t have set foot in this place for any amount of money, but I actually went there (more than) a few times, occasionally on Friday nights (when I wanted to dance) and more often on Wednesday nights (for poker). Say what you want about it, but I like a place that I can walk into and have a waitress greet me with, “Hey Scarlett, do you want your usual?” (Note: This probably happened only because I was one of the few customers who didn’t fall into the category of Dirty Old Men, and the waitresses were just happy to see me.) I recently read on the sign outside this place that The Palace will soon be replaced by something else, which had a funny name that I can’t remember right now. So, we’ll see how that goes.

And then, of course, there have been multiple closures at that place on Bearden Hill which, despite having a seemingly good location, can’t seem to make it as anything. I mean, there have been no less than, like, seventeen restaurants/bars in that building during the past few years (slight exaggeration), and I can’t remember a single one of them. (Okay, I can remember the Giant Panda, but I NEVER WENT THERE.) A few days ago I noticed that yet another bar will be opening up there soon, and I really couldn’t help but think, “What’s the fucking POINT?” I give it six months. No, three.

Which leaves us with Ray’s, formerly known as Kingston Alley. It’s certainly not the only bar in this neck of the woods (let’s not forget Little Ricky’s), but from what I’ve heard, it’s the only one anyone goes to. And by “anyone,” I mean the former Michael’s/Palace crowd. Which explains why, the other night, when some guy asked me if I’d been to “The Coke and Poke” lately, he was referring to Ray’s.

For the love of God, Short West. You mean to tell me that the only viable place to get drink around here is a place people refer to as The Coke and Poke? I’m gonna need you to do a little better than that.

Here’s hoping for a better economy.

Bailey's Sports Grill

It's time for another bar review. This week: Bailey's Sports Grill. I have to admit it has been a while since I've been to this long-running Knoxville establishment. Located smack-dab in the heart of west Knoxville, it is a bit out of range for frequent visits by yours truly. However it has stood the test of time and has gotten on quite well without my patronage for this long.
This most recent visit happened to be during lunch while I was running some errands and decided I'd stop in to watch Wimbledon on the big screen. I sat at the bar as usual and ordered the first decent draft I recognized amongst the macro-brews, a Sierra-Nevada Pale Ale. The place was kinda empty, but it was lunchtime and the place is huge so it can be deceiving. There were some obvious regulars at the bar and numerous pool tables having a good time. The staff seemed to know every customer except me, but were very courteous & friendly nonetheless and treated me well.

I ordered one of my all-time favorite meals that I use as a measuring stick for all pubs and bars across the country: fish & chips.

It is a simple meal that is surprisingly hard to find done well. Most places take the easy route using frozen, pre-battered fish planks, standard fries and serve with creamy coleslaw and tartar sauce. Bailey's was much better and may be considered my new favorite place for fish & chips in Knoxville. These are Newcastle Brown hand-battered fillets that you can tell are freshly made. There were 3 large pieces of fish, the "chips" were pretty standard but cooked well (meaning crisp) and the slaw wasn't too creamy but sorta bland. Overall it was a great meal that I strongly recommend. Did I mention the staff was friendly? The bartender, manager, another staffer, and the line cook came by to see how my meal was - impressive.

Maybe the only complaint I would mention is the pricey beer at $4.25 a pint. I guess the recent climb in oil prices has trickled down to everything. I've heard there is a soon-to-be shortage of wheat and hops that will raise prices even more in the very near future, so get ready. Now would be a good time to visit our friends at http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/ to catch up on some bar hand signals. Bonus points for anyone who recognizes this one:

I assume Bailey's still fills up for happy hour, evenings, and weekends much more than lunchtime. It has large TVs (not trannys) everywhere with all varieties of sports showing constantly, the aforementioned pool tables, darts, and other bar games. Plus it is 21+ only so all the smokers know they can light up! As a non-smoker I sometimes enjoy the nostalgic smell of beer and cigarettes like I remember from every bar while growing up. If I lived closer I'm sure I would go there more often. As it is I will continue to visit when I can, which averages out to about once every 1.5 years. Hopefully everyone else out there can keep it going 'til my next visit - so drink up!!