Pic Dump

Time to clear out the never used pics from my cell phone. Most of these were taken at some point while on the way to drink, drinking or coming home from drinks.

I noticed the Hilton was having their garage painted one night last week. I assume it is supposed to match the hotel pilsner glass design.

It appears a tad too orange now but I think it will fade and blend in after a while. Looking good.

LVL mysteriously produces a bottle of Blanton's.

Fish.

A very fruity drink at FKA (aka the tiki bar). Vodka & ruby red.

Backroom bar, been spending time there lately.

1 wing. This single wing has a story behind it but in short it was a sample to see if it was the same delicious smoked wings from Manhattan's a couple of weeks ago and it wasn't. However it was also delicious so I ordered a dozen more. I think I was looking for dry or naked wings.

The missing side grits from L35 Southern Breakfast:

Wall Street classic updated

Aftermath

Picture Dump

Sometimes I take random picutes thinking they'll be good to use on the blog. Sometimes I even have ideas and thoughts for posting but often it just doesn't workout. Here are some of the failed pics that never made it . . . . until now.

At The Hill:

At the UT home opener. Nice:

Someone losing their shirt downtown:

A whiskey at the Hilton?

Wall St:

Wall St:

Wall St:

Even more Wall St:

Someone's lost shoe:

This old chestnut:

Operational Pause

You may have noticed light posting this week, or you may not have paid the slightest bit of attention. Either way, go to Hell. This week isn't about your self-absorbed fantasy.

We're not on trial here.

Regular posting to resume in a few days. Buckle up, it's going to get bumpy...and blurry. Bad juju.

Random Manure

Sometimes I fret that people aren't drinking enough. Living here in this fortress of drinking while being surrounded by the so-called Bible Belt tends to cause paranoid delusions. Trust me, Mordor ain't got shit on some of the baleful glances I get from the teetotalers(especially when their hellish drop is closeby) when I am about town.

A little perspective is needed...because after a cursory and very, very sloppy internet search my faith is restored by the images and other content that screams "THE WORLD POSTS WHILE DRUNK." As you all know, we here at DK make a point to always post whilst sober.

Dear God, I think I am a latter day Mr. Hand.

Look, we all know that drunken text messaging...ill-advised boozy emails, photoshops etc are a fact of life. Consider the insanity of the de-motivational posters that have been co-opted to nefarious ends.

Truly, flying sharks would be bad for our species. Perhaps we can counter them with:

The research that leads to the hovertank program naturally will progress to mobile infantry such as the highly lethal Glitter Boy powered armor:

And so on. I would say people have too much free time...but clearly more people are drinking and using powerful, powerful drugs. Where did this shit begin? I blame Dr. Evil.

Thank you Mike Myers. Who among us can forget the dumbassery of the late 90s when everyone droned on and on about sharks-with-frickin-laserbeams...like it was our own joke and the funniest crap anyone has ever heard. Feh. I name this douchery as the pioneer of said movement. Now, look where we are in the decade hence. The fuckers from South Park put a killer whale on the moon...insert your "pwned" or "fail" caption as you will.

Most offensive(and baffling) are the fuckers from Lego that give us this evidence of extreme intoxication:

That's some awful Seaquest shit right there. But wait, what the hell is on those sharks?

Frickin gamma ray lasers. Someone is/was fucked up when this little trinket got the green light. Give the cocksucker lungs and legs as well, masochist. Not to be outdone, the cautionary signage industry has to get in on the action as well. Some high bastard took the time to come up with this somewhat official looking piece of shit:

And so here we are. As reasonable beings, we can conclude:

1. The world is in fact full of functional drunks that are computer-savvy.

2. Sharks seem to be on the minds of nearly all the populace...which makes even less sense when you live in Nebraska, for example.

3. The Austin Powers series was at least one movie too many.

4. The Absinthe-swilling Euros that work at the Lego mill are clearly the world's biggest Dr. Evil fans.

However, one might ask if this bastard movement of amalgams has run its course...does the drinking/technically competent community have something else in store?

Son of a bitch.


UPDATE: Mother of God, they're learning quickly. Siegecraft!

http://www.wwtdd.com/2009/08/oh-we-are-so-screwed/

Macro Brews Increase Prices

Shock! Get ready to shell out an extra 25 cents per six pack.

Old City Saloon?

From a report on WATE.com we learn that former waste-of-space Club 106 will be replaced with a new country & western bar named Southbound Knoxville scheduled to open May 1st.

Ok, here we go again. Am I surprised that Club 106 closed? No. Do I want the Old City to succeed as a beacon for downtown visitors? Yes. Will this new establishment buck the trend of failures that has existed since Hooray's closed about a dozen years ago? I don't know.

I hope something good happens there but they have an uphill climb. The place is HUGE and rent adds up month after month regardless of whatever "slow" season happens to affect your joint. Running a business is tough, and I believe restaurants and bars are tougher due to fierce competition and slim profit margins. Does Knoxville have enough boot scootin', shit kicking patrons to support an Old City country bar? I guess we'll see, and don't get me wrong, I hope so, even though that isn't my particular scene. I'm going to keep my eye on this development and hope to report some good news as they open and grow their business.

Good luck, Southbound Knoxville, I think you're going to need it.

How They Roll

While driving through Newport on my way to Hot Springs, NC last Friday, I stopped at a gas station to buy some essentials (lottery tickets, cigarettes, and Twizzlers). The lady in front of me was buying four of these:

and twelve of these:

There's nothing like a Friday afternoon in Cocke County.

Damn them Doobies and they Chinese Grove

By Doobies I mean Irish. By Chinese Grove I mean Jamesons.

Why I drink this shit is beyond me. It always makes things extremely blurry.

Cathaholics Day

(Not Knoxville)

There was a time, not so long ago, that Mardi Gras stood out on my calendar as a great holiday drinking event that I planned for each year. I would make every attempt to get down New Orleans way come hell or high water. I’d drive 10 hours by myself if I had to, crash on friend’s sofas or floor and eat and drink like the fiend that I am. Most years it would be a few of us piled into a car with enough beer and booze for a small army speeding through Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi on our way to the Big Easy. One year we started in Baton Rouge and drank our way in. Bad behavior was expected and we didn’t disappoint. Some of the most embarrassing moments I’ve lived were during Mardi Gras and I’ve blacked out in New Orleans probably more than anywhere else on this planet. Occasionally we could even afford a decent meal of food but more often we spent our money on booze. Those were kick-ass days.

This year it totally snuck up on me. I just realized that Fat Tuesday was upon us. Knoxville doesn’t have much to offer in the way of celebrating this holiday, not that I’d expect much anyway. One thing I remember was a local jambalaya cook off held downtown but I don’t think they even do that anymore. I’m sure there is a bar party hosted by Miller Lite somewhere around town complete with beads, paper banners and horrible hurricane flavored beer (or is that Bud Light). Last weekend I witnessed the early stages of the 2nd annual Mardi Growl Parade. Great, a fucking dog parade complete with stupid animal/owner costumes and more dog shit everywhere. Excuse me, but I prefer human piss and defecation during my Mardi Gras reveling. The best part about this holiday for me is that I am not Catholic therefore I don’t have to give up anything for Lent. I will continue to drink the same way, day in and day out. Suckers.

Happy New Year

Feh.

Another labored Holiday with the no-fun patrol out in force, warm champagne in one's hand while you wait for the rest of the bubbly to pour, a hurried and insincere kiss(in my case), finally culminating in a fitful sleep.

At least this year we won't have to wait/wake up at dawn's crack to watch Tennessee in another mid-tier bowl game first thing in the damn morning.

I think I will tie one on over the weekend to make my point.