Rumor

Rumour if you are Canadian. We are told here that a new edition will be added to an existing and well-known bourbon line. This potent newcomer will be arriving to local bars as early as today. 130 proof is whispered. Get your shit together. Hmm. Where could it be? What could it be? I'll admit to being caught completely unaware. That's not so bad though when you think about it. Blee!

Much Better

The weekend was quite simply, tits. Significantly better weather around our region finally allowed us to get out for a small bender/binge and we made the most of it. DK sincerely hopes that all of you managed some outdoor fun even if it was -gasp- spent sober.

Even though the South, and Knoxville in particular was spared the worst of this bitter-ass winter cockbite, let's face it this winter largely sucked. Piss poor economy + cold = meh. The Whisky Season endures of course, and private consumption of the brown was still very high but yours truly found himself finding less time for usual barhopping and much more time for drink specials and HH. With warmer weather around the corner(looking at you groundhog) we can expect to resume publican behavior and we'll let you know who and what survived the recent bleak days.

As all of you know, the first warm days of the year will cause the cabin fever to break, and our once febrile minds will entertain all sorts of high-minded ideas for a Saturday bender. Keg drinking, Maker's, and a healthy appetite for all sorts of victuals.

Yeah, that's sushi. No, we didn't drink the bourbon out of the sauce containers you assholes. Look, it was predictably a strange combination but damn if we didn't eat all of it. Perfect example of how one of these benders can go south.

So with that in mind, let me encourage you to get your warm weather boozin' together and tie one on before springtime rolls in. Hit the back yard a few times to prep for the true rite of the season: Patio Drinking.

Public House Pub

More on this place later, like maybe a month or so...

Sign Post and Meter Discuss the Weather

Knoxville, TN

Rain, 36 F

Sign Post: Man it’s cold out today, I wish I had a jacket or something, maybe one of those nice, dressy ones I see all the time. Hell, anything would be better than nothing. What the… “HEY! Hey, you with the hat on your head. Where’d you get that hat?”

Meter: What, this old thing? Pfft, I’ve had this at least 2-3 years.

SP: That’s nice, man. What I wouldn’t do for one of those. I’m cold!

M: Yeah, you really should put something on or you’re going to get sick. They say the flu is really nasty this year.

SP: I don’t know how to get one. Where did you get it? Did you make it yourself?

M: Nah, are you joking? I don’t have hands or fingers. My ex got it for me.

SP: What do you mean, “ex”? You had a girlfriend, how the hell does that work? I mean, you just said that you don’t have any extremities, so how do you date?

M: It was a short term thing that didn’t work out, but man it was great while it lasted. She was an artist and really wasn’t into the whole physical thing, just freaky conversations and lots of photography. Plus I think she was rich too, always putting money in my mouth. Kinky stuff.

SP: That is kinda weird, but I’d do it. I wish somebody would give me money, or anything for that matter. A hat would be nice.

M: But you don’t have a head like I do so there’s nowhere to put it.

SP: Tell me about it. Ever since they removed my sign I don’t even know know why I’m here. What’s the point of being here night and day in the cold without a sign? I’m useless…and freezing!!

M: I’m not sure that you could even wear a coat if you got one. You don’t have shoulders or arms to support it.

SP: Yes I could, I’d look good. I’d be the sexiest damn sign post ever!

M: Yeah, whatever. I’ll wait for that. Hey, here come some people, lock it up and be quite or you’ll give us away! (stands still)

SP: (stands still)

(group of 4 walks by brushing against sign post)

M: That was close. They almost heard us, I thought that girl was going to bust us. She looked back like something happened. Did you see that? Hey...

Nama - Coming Soon!

Hey drunkards, I've got an unofficial opening date for Nama's new location on Gay St. next to Regal Riviera Stadium 8. Someone inside told me they were aiming for a very ambitious target date of Friday, 2/18/11. That's about 2.5 weeks away, though my source didn't seem confident that it could happen. Who knows? New restaurants, even existing ones who are expanding or relocating, often have hiccups the first few weeks for the usual variety of reasons: new staff, new equipment, new menu items - just about anything can go wrong. Hell, I say go ahead and do it. Jump right in and test the waters with everything. Sake it to us, baby!

In Which I Rail About the Weather

Well you little son of a bitch, what's it going to be? Hmm? Do we get a timely and much needed Spring or will this miserable wet weather never end?

Half the country is buried under record snowfalls, but many of the lucky ones in those otherwise deadly urban traps will walk to local bars, and the rest of them should know to have ample stores of hooch at home. Keep the faith, folks.

For the last few weeks, we've bundled and medicated all in order to consume whiskey and drink as many strong beers as possible. Regardless of what the rat does in Pennsylvania tomorrow, this weekend is the Super Bowl, so we can all eat well then laugh at the expensive commercials. It's a sign of hipness and a badge of honor to show up Monday at work and still slightly reek. It's in the national character.

Once that holy of holy days is in the books however, yours truly is ready for warmer weather. St. Patrick's Day will loom large, as it always does in Knoxville(seriously, check out the Old City and Downtown that afternoon, you'll be surprised in the participation). Then come April, it's time for the fantastic street festival affectionately known as the Rossini Festival. Mackey has elaborated on that happy-as-shit fun time in previous entries, so maybe I will spell him and write this year's account. In the meantime, I'll continue to freeze my ass off...and pay attention to that gopher lookin' prick.