As with most of you, we've been enjoying our summer evenings and weekends by getting loaded. We've been bayoneting kegs like The Somme and at remarkable speed no less.
Back in the college days, most young men will eventually acquire a full set of keg materials. Usually, you can get the keg pretty easily. The basin or trash can, for reasons I will shortly explain, can easily be obtained although it should come last. The tap is where most of us dipshit collegians run into trouble, so for a while you have to pay the damn deposit at Pilot.
And it had to be Pilot, because back then the Cumberland locale was the primary keg arsenal for the UTK student. Upon retrospect, I do wish there were more options but there was a reassuring and remarkable simplicity to obtaining a keg on short notice. The big yellow Pilot trash cans represented the epitome of serious drinking street cred, if your kegger sported the obscene yellow and red bastards, you were at a professional party. Utterly bizarre hierarchy. Also, if you had a backup tap(hubris) you were not to be trifled with in any capacity. What kind of rat bastard psycho has that kind of walking around change at 22?
Over the years, my items were passed along to a younger generation...which was good and proper. It also helps that Mackey and HL have kegerators, so I am cheating. They at times seem beset with attractive keg options...what with our fine friends at Woodruff and Bearden Beer Market leading the way. Pilot abides, as ever. Krogers and some of the nicer Ingles supermarkets will sell kegs in some capacity, and we've even seen a quick trip to Wallyworld bear some fruit. With great keg, comes great responsibility so choose your primary provider carefully. I mean, at least as much scrutiny as one's physician, since you'll be needing a score of those(conjecture).
Recently, during our trip to the Thunder Nationals, we had to go back to a fuck ton of bottled and canned beer which brings the usual logistical concerns. How much do we need? Coolers necessary? Of course, we started with a figure-and then doubled it. We still felt uneasy with that seemingly insignificant sum, so we invoked boozer pincet, by which we also buffet that beer with well over a gallon of liquor.
Back in the college days, most young men will eventually acquire a full set of keg materials. Usually, you can get the keg pretty easily. The basin or trash can, for reasons I will shortly explain, can easily be obtained although it should come last. The tap is where most of us dipshit collegians run into trouble, so for a while you have to pay the damn deposit at Pilot.
And it had to be Pilot, because back then the Cumberland locale was the primary keg arsenal for the UTK student. Upon retrospect, I do wish there were more options but there was a reassuring and remarkable simplicity to obtaining a keg on short notice. The big yellow Pilot trash cans represented the epitome of serious drinking street cred, if your kegger sported the obscene yellow and red bastards, you were at a professional party. Utterly bizarre hierarchy. Also, if you had a backup tap(hubris) you were not to be trifled with in any capacity. What kind of rat bastard psycho has that kind of walking around change at 22?
Over the years, my items were passed along to a younger generation...which was good and proper. It also helps that Mackey and HL have kegerators, so I am cheating. They at times seem beset with attractive keg options...what with our fine friends at Woodruff and Bearden Beer Market leading the way. Pilot abides, as ever. Krogers and some of the nicer Ingles supermarkets will sell kegs in some capacity, and we've even seen a quick trip to Wallyworld bear some fruit. With great keg, comes great responsibility so choose your primary provider carefully. I mean, at least as much scrutiny as one's physician, since you'll be needing a score of those(conjecture).
Recently, during our trip to the Thunder Nationals, we had to go back to a fuck ton of bottled and canned beer which brings the usual logistical concerns. How much do we need? Coolers necessary? Of course, we started with a figure-and then doubled it. We still felt uneasy with that seemingly insignificant sum, so we invoked boozer pincet, by which we also buffet that beer with well over a gallon of liquor.
Terrible, terrible things.
Since it was frowned upon to wheel a keg in the grandstands anyway, we took our estimate for cooler ice and doubled it.
Still woefully inadequate, it turned out. Fortunately enterprising locals saved our asses by driving the ice truck from campsite to campsite. We salute this man for his American character and spirit. His timely delivery allowed all eight cases to perish with honor. He and Mackey engaged in a 20 minute conversation for some reason.
So as we return to the free-flowing greatness that is keg beer, we think back to that fuzzy and vague weekend with great fondness. At least kegerators don't require some hoary Norse iceman to pull our nuts out of the fire.
Ah, yes. I do remember the days of Pilot kegs and those yellow trash cans, and the 40-pound bags of ice. How can 20 years get by so quickly?
ReplyDeleteMy home kegerator is currently sporting a half-barrel of Woodruff's White Mule. I figure I will go to the brown ale in the fall and maybe the stout during the winter. Circle of life.
I talked to Chris at bearden about getting a keg of his West Coast. But he didn't have an extra half-barrel on hand that day, and I was bone dry. Trekked back downtown for the Mule.
For the record we were discussing franchise rights for his ice delivery service in the Knoxville market. Too much man, too much.
ReplyDeleteMy keg is on E and I'm so damn thirsty. Shit.
Hey i had an extra tap in college. Those plastic yellow ones that my brother some how came across. Worked well in a pinch if you had to serve 8 kegs in the yard. Who knew people would start sticking around FOR the gun play?????
ReplyDeleteBS
Its been almost 4 weeks since Thunder Valley. As each day goes by since that Great Adventure, the withdrawal I suffer grows greater by a factor of ten. So the pain I feel now is 10 times worse than yesterday's, which was ten times worse than the day before...all the way back to June 20th.
ReplyDeleteSince then Tim Wilkerson has won Funny Car twice, and finished 2nd (at Bristol). I cannot help but be confounded by the fact that since that great weekend, his spirits and mine have diverged so rapidly.
Wilkerson may have become The new "duck of my life".
As for a tap, I still have an old pump tap laying behind the house that the kegorator has rendered pointless. I need to find a college yute to pass it on too.
HL