Nine millimeters of Luger

Let me just say I don't care for these electronic cigarettes. Not because I think those who use the insipid things are trying to skirt the smoking laws, rather I have found every single person who is using them in a bar setting to be a screaming douche.

I'm no smoking prude. In fact, among non-smokers you will find me the most pro-cancer stick. I lament the passing of smoking sections on planes and trains, and you will still see me frequent 21 and over bars that still allow smoking. This is America, and you should be able to kill your body however you please.

So last night I am downtown, and this older fellow was indulging in this tripe. He finagled his way to the center of his table, overpowering conversation and gesturing like a madman with his stupid damn stick. It lacks the couth and class of a pipe, sir. Worse, when your friends attempted to get your attention you would quickly pull your tiny Freudian cockstitute to your mouth and exhale a small amount of vapor into said friend's face. Feh. They really need to kick your ass.

Look, if the droat-wearing girls can stand outside in scarves and hideous boots to smoke during the cold January nights then you can too. I recognize that everyone probably doesn't engage in this low-level visual cocktardery when they activate their e cigarette. I beseech someone to step up and lead these misguided souls.