Florida in jean shorts

Well as some may know I have just returned from a week vacation, in the mega fucked up state of Florida. Now there are the obvious reasons to think FL this way, like any collage football team in the state, even the small ones like USF, and UCF. So we all agree on that? Good. We won’t go through all the reasons right now but I am sure they will come up throughout this post. First I think we may have found one of the nicer places to stay in the state; Indian Rocks Beach. I highly recommended it, its part of the Tampa Bay area just south of Clearwater Beach. But unlike Clearwater It has next to no high rise condos, to block views and provide housing for tourist. God I hate tourist even when I am one. IRB is all nice houses with some nice restaurants and bars, but not too many of them to where it attracts temporary Floridians to flock there. We rented one of these little houses; the only way to go. A kitchen and grill, plus nobody at a front desk to give me dirty looks when I unload the keg (yes I packed less so I could fit a keg in the trunk, you can’t count on FL to provide good beer). Well the house was small but served its purpose as a eating, sleeping and drinking shelter for when we did not want to be at the beach or fishing. Yes fishing; not much of a fishermen but good activity to do while drinking. Side Note: one time fishing with a group of locals we were surrounded by 5 grown men wearing jean shorts. Yes five out of the 8 people there had on jean shorts and two of the people without were me and the other guy on the trip with me. Some converted to shorts, and some purchased as jean shorts; even a converted pair rolled at the bottom with holes in the ass. Come on FL do you have to prove every stereotype all on one trip. The main problem is to them their not jean shorts their just shorts; either way their gay. Ok back to my trip; Yes I brought a keg, I don’t leave Knoxville without one very often. It’s a trust thing; at least I know I have some good beer, if things aren’t going well. I had 1 five gallon keg and 6 two litter growlers, and we only had one growler on the last night between the two of us. Yes that’s 6.5 gallons, or 832 foz. Plus a bottle of Makers, two half gallon bottles of vodka, and vino, but when you have nowhere to go and nowhere to drive it goes fast. Now as most know I am not afraid to go straight from coffee to beer, but getting a Makers on the rocks between them makes for a good morning. Now a drinking tip for FL; go to happy hours, they are a great deal unlike afterwards, they cater to the old locals who drink during the day (key word old). The hard part of that is Happy Hours end early, because they have to fit an early bird special in there before dinner time. Well I could go on and on but I need to get to my beer.


  1. You forgot to mention the fruity blender drinks!

  2. You should have hit up the Rose and Crown Pub in Largo. Good Beer, Fish & Chips and about as good as it gets for local music.