Sign Post and Meter Discuss the Weather

Knoxville, TN

Rain, 36 F

Sign Post: Man it’s cold out today, I wish I had a jacket or something, maybe one of those nice, dressy ones I see all the time. Hell, anything would be better than nothing. What the… “HEY! Hey, you with the hat on your head. Where’d you get that hat?”

Meter: What, this old thing? Pfft, I’ve had this at least 2-3 years.

SP: That’s nice, man. What I wouldn’t do for one of those. I’m cold!

M: Yeah, you really should put something on or you’re going to get sick. They say the flu is really nasty this year.

SP: I don’t know how to get one. Where did you get it? Did you make it yourself?

M: Nah, are you joking? I don’t have hands or fingers. My ex got it for me.

SP: What do you mean, “ex”? You had a girlfriend, how the hell does that work? I mean, you just said that you don’t have any extremities, so how do you date?

M: It was a short term thing that didn’t work out, but man it was great while it lasted. She was an artist and really wasn’t into the whole physical thing, just freaky conversations and lots of photography. Plus I think she was rich too, always putting money in my mouth. Kinky stuff.

SP: That is kinda weird, but I’d do it. I wish somebody would give me money, or anything for that matter. A hat would be nice.

M: But you don’t have a head like I do so there’s nowhere to put it.

SP: Tell me about it. Ever since they removed my sign I don’t even know know why I’m here. What’s the point of being here night and day in the cold without a sign? I’m useless…and freezing!!

M: I’m not sure that you could even wear a coat if you got one. You don’t have shoulders or arms to support it.

SP: Yes I could, I’d look good. I’d be the sexiest damn sign post ever!

M: Yeah, whatever. I’ll wait for that. Hey, here come some people, lock it up and be quite or you’ll give us away! (stands still)

SP: (stands still)

(group of 4 walks by brushing against sign post)

M: That was close. They almost heard us, I thought that girl was going to bust us. She looked back like something happened. Did you see that? Hey...

Under the Bridge

This isn’t homage to the RHCP. No, these images were taken at the massive parking area in the Old City underneath the interstate / parkway system. I ride my bicycle throughout town and usually cruise through the lot for a breather or water break away from the street traffic. I do my best to dodge the seas of broken glass but it is practically impossible. On this particular occasion I noticed a higher than usual number of empty bottles and thought I’d do some photo documentation.


I remember the days of going to the bars and frontloading on the way (yes, open containers!) and was just as guilty as these folks who leave behind the sacrificed empties, so I’m not being hypocritical or unrealistic about this situation. I mean, who wants to leave a backseat full of crime evidence should the police get involved. There has to be a better way but looking around the lot I didn’t see the one solution that should be obvious – trash cans. Not a damn one!

Wall St. a.k.a. Graffiti Alley

More wisdom from Knoxville's street artists. Or something. Maybe you can decipher what they mean in the comments...or not.

Picture Dump

Sometimes I take random picutes thinking they'll be good to use on the blog. Sometimes I even have ideas and thoughts for posting but often it just doesn't workout. Here are some of the failed pics that never made it . . . . until now.

At The Hill:

At the UT home opener. Nice:

Someone losing their shirt downtown:

A whiskey at the Hilton?

Wall St:

Wall St:

Wall St:

Even more Wall St:

Someone's lost shoe:

This old chestnut:

Quick Shots!

The Tin Roof is making progress. I snapped these photos using my cell phone during lunch.

Just the other day there was a banner with their name but I guess they took it down during construction/demolition. From what I saw it looks like they’re gutting that mofo. On the front you can see the new “shingle” panels – no word on the actual roof yet.

I think I read somewhere that their target opening date is in September and hope they make it in time for game days. We’re long overdue for a good UT victory spot on the strip following football games, but of course we haven’t had a whole lot of victories to celebrate the past few years either.

Big Surprise Tour at World’s Fair Park is happening Friday, 8/14. Gates open at 5:30 show begins at 7:00, cost is $35. Headliners are Old Crow Medicine Show with 3-4 supporting acts so it should be a full night of music. I’m not sure what the concert name means but it couldn’t be more appropriate because I didn’t hear about this until last week. However the security guard who stopped me at the gate where this picture was taken could actually be protecting the big surprise that concert goers will witness tomorrow night. Now I’m dying to know.

And I almost forgot, the Tin Roof staff needs to be prepared to face off against the homeless ranks for one of the most coveted drinking nooks off the strip. It’s not another bar. The stairwell from their lower parking lot to the upper lots has lots of history in this regard – many bars and restaurants have come and gone on the strip, yet the bums remain.

40 Cent in Knoxville

Knoxville is a sensible town. We're modest. Our city usually makes those "10 Best Cities to Live" surveys due to our low average cost of living, high quality of life (despite air pollution), recreation, parks, etc. We narrowly avoided the abominable housing/mortgage crunch that scarred most of the country and sent the national economy reeling. That is just how we are.

So, while walking home from the pub last evening I was not at all surprised to be approached by a panhandler asking for a tidy "40 cent". Walking toward each other on the same side of the street the brief encounter went something like:

40 Cent: Yo, man, how's it going?
Me: Good man, good.
40 C: Hey you got 40 cent?
Me: No man, not a dime, sorry.

We both kept walking in opposite directions.

See, its that modest approach that keeps Knoxville firmly grounded about a decade behind the rest of the country. No need to be excessive. Why ask for more than you need? I'm sure "40" only needed .40c to add to his coffers. Surely it had nothing to do with former street thug/drug dealer turned mega-superstar rapper, 50 Cent. (Take a modern, well chronicled success story, knock 20% off and replicate.) So what if it did? I appreciate that 40 Cent realizes he is in a smaller market than St. Louis and doesn't ask too much from its citizens. That's just smart business - if business means panhandling. Plus he didn't even pull a Gat or get up in my grill all angry and shit.

So keep your eyes out for this guy, he could be Knoxville's next celebrity if he makes it off the street. And if he raps. Black male, late 30's, last seen wearing jeans, a Swiss flag t-shirt, and carrying a Hefty flex-trash bag. I know I'll be listening to WUTK's Edutainment Hip-Hop hour on 90.3 waiting for his latest bomb to drop. Fo' riz-eel!