Product Review: Death's Door Gin

I'll admit, early on I had my questions about this gin. Would the relative youth of the company be evident in some crass manner? Overpowering or too little juniper? If it is tasty does that still make this some sort of gin nouveau riche?

Calm the fuck down there LVL. Turns out this is a very fine and suitable clear liquor that easily bridges the middle ground between the current heavy hitter gins: (my beloved) Hendricks, Tanq, and Bombay.

Gin is usually distinct and stark, and DD is no exception. It has a slight citrus twinge that I find difficult to explain. These days many gins have a slight infusion of flavor, but this begs you to drink more to investigate. Insidious.

The bottle is probably its coolest feature. It shows the pride of the Wisconsin community that it calls home. Ingredients are purported to be local and organic, and the general opinion is this is a 'greener' hooch if you find that a feature rather than a bug. You will find something new with each new pour...dates, maps, local lore. It's pretty cool in a day when most bottle labels are either askew or sport a torn paper label.

Suffice to say, that picture was taken pretty early-and I have since prosecuted the bottle with relentless gusto. I heartily recommend you check it out the next time you aren't in the mood for brown booze or vodka.

Whipahol

Damn, where was this during Thanksgiving dessert? A brand new way to consume alcohol has hit the market just in time for the holidays. Or maybe it's been out for a while now, I honestly don't know. Whipped Lightning is the world's first alcohol-infused whipped cream - it says so right on their web page. I applaud this invention even though I will probably never use it myself. According to the website it is not available in 33 states, however Tennessee somehow pulls a surprise win and it IS available here. Check out the recipes if you need instructions on how to enjoy their product. Or I'll save you the time by listing the two step process:

1. Make your favorite cocktail, shooter, coffee or dessert
2. Top with Whipped Lightning

Done.

Will this replace the tried and true method of spiking your coffee or pouring bourbon directly on your apple pie? No, it will not, especially if LVL is around with a bottle of Maker's.

In which I speak briefly of Mardi Gras

So folks, here we are in February with that crippling romantic cack behind us and the rest of the drinking year ahead. Thus, a good number of you are celebrating Mardi Gras and therefore probably can't read this very well. We understand.

In fact, I'm going to totally mail this on in. Let's be honest, very few celebrants of MG that I've known care in the least about the traditions of this iconic party. Some make the pilgrimmage to New Orleans to do it proper, the rest of us fake it and get trashed locally. Meh. Beads are offered, boobs are shown, urination is public etc.

Allow me to compensate with a couple of esoteric MG favorites in case you are frigging sick of Hurricanes or Zombies:

Hand Grenade
1 1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz PGA
1/2 oz melon liquer(nasty)
1/2 oz rum
1/2 oz vodka

Collins class works well here. Shake it together. Some folks like to garnish. Personally I add my own touch by garnishing with double the recommended booze. Mackey would triple it because he's living in Glugtown USA.

Also an obscure seasonal recipe is the Creole:
2 oz. light rum
1 oz. lemon juice
1 dash Tabasco sauce
1 dash Worcestershire sauce
1/2 oz. Beef Bouillon
dash of salt
dash of black pepper
lemon slice

The usual order of pouring Bloody Mary-like drinks applies so I won't bother with the details here. Shake the mixture, then add the lemon slice. This is really just another supercharged Bloody Bull, but I suppose every region has them.

If you are going to New Orleans, then please tell the Saint's fans to sober up and get back to work.

The National Nightmare is Finally Over

Piss up a rope Zima.

Today we learn that at long last this cultural abortion ends with all the ignominity it deserves.

http://www.bizjournals.com/milwaukee/stories/2008/10/20/daily5.html

First appearing circa 1992 this wretched bitch soon found purchase among dandies, teen girls, unicorns, and hipster assholes that "don't like the taste of beer." Well, excuse me your highness alcohol isn't supposed to taste like candy. Get fucked.

There is a reason that the wine cooler phase of American boozing died out. It's awful. Look, if you want something that tastes like fruit or whatnot, make a proper liquor drink. While I don't drink vodka and cranberry juice, I won't give you shit for it at the bar. Order a wine cooler, Zima, hard cider, or god help you Smirnoff Ice and your ears will bleed for a month. These fuckers at least understood that sad bit of postmodern America.

I, too, would rather drink the urine of a ram rather than Zima. They should nuke the processing plant then bury the remnants with concrete.

Bar Review: Southern Graces Skybox

Not long ago, Mackey regaled us with his prescient skills and foretold the good news that the Sunsphere would be pushing booze. He has that ability apparently when it is booze related. He is Beeradamus. Anyway, the setting:

Last week we took the long elevator ride up to the bar. First one must be patient and take the elevator on the right...Number One. This will only happen after Number Two answers the call five times in a row. At least. By the time you get to the 4th floor you will have found yourself thirsty, needing to take a whiz, and utterly spent of small talk for the ride up. Feh.

ELEVATOR FLIES OPEN

Well, first off you see the bar itself. The best piece in the joint actually. All the little things in the area seem to be well decorated and crisp. The bar looks out over the Fort, and you can really see quite a ways up to the ridge. Same with the other side of downtown and south Knoxville. It's quite bright...swinging back over to The Compound, and UT...the Hill and Stadium are prominent.

It's really dark in here. Like makeout dark. Most folks are trying and failing miserably at any suitable pictures...yours truly no exception.

Some things were curious though. The service is still badly working out the kinks. The cocktail tables to the left of the bar are high tops, and when boozing you get a righteous case of vertigo if you aren't ready for it. That does fade though, and one gets use to the dark surroundings in a hurry to really appreciate the view.

It ain't cheap...no draft beers, wine and liquor are encouraged. I have no problem with either. Especially the latter.

I hope this enterprise can make it...given the logistic concerns, crowd management might be a problem. Then again, I can think of worse issues. Get your ass up there soon, in any case.

Hooray – The Sunsphere has Booze!!

Or at least it will soon. Rumored ever since reopening the observation deck last year, the Sunsphere will soon open a public bar, hopefully in time for football season. I have been patiently awaiting this news for some time. A couple of days ago I bumped into a bartender friend who shared the good news. News made even better by that fact that he has been hired to work there! Man it feels good to know people with connections. He said all the inspections are complete, permits obtained, and hiring of staff is in progress.

The official word from City of Knoxville Beer Board:

SOUTHERN GRACES CATERING & EVENTS LLC , APPLICANT
SOUTHERN GRACES CATERING & EVENTS (CATERING)
810 CLINCH AVENUE
SOUTHERN GRACES CATERING & EVENTS, LLC , OWNER
ROBERT A. SUKENIK , MANAGER
TEMPORARY
Officer Donny Huskey, KPD Inspections, reported no applicable record on the applicant. Doti Martin, Revenue Office, reported that the file was complete.
Councilmember Pelot made a motion to approve the beer permit. Councilmember Roddy seconded the motion. By unanimous voice vote the motion carried. The beer permit was granted.

So there you have it. Now all we have to do is wait for them to open their doors so we can ascend via the slow-ass elevator for some uptown drinkin’. A word of warning – this ain’t gonna be no cheap watering hole. As you can imagine there are space and logistic limitations, not to mention the notion of upholding an image of prestige and decorum. This bar will cater to high-end business types, convention visitors, and snooty well-to-dos. Expect pricey bottled beer (no drafts), fine wines, a selection of top shelf booze and probably some fancy cocktails on their drink menu. I haven’t heard anything about their food menu, nor do I care to. I have no idea what it will be called or if it will operate under their catering operation, Southern Graces. I hope they call it something different, something cool. Sunsphere Saloon? P-card Pub? (doubtful) Downtown Drinkup? Okay, those really suck balls. Got a good name suggestion? Post it in a comment and we’ll see if anybody comes up with something good. Go ahead, don’t be bashful…