Well Done

Really well done in fact, though not an aspect you’re aiming for when cooking pizza. Drunkenly cooking frozen pizza pie has cost me more lost pies than I can remember but probably fewer than our friend P. Sure, it works out most of the time, you come in from a night of boozing and think you just can’t make it without another meal before passing out. So you scavenge what’s available or become ambitious and cook something, often a frozen pizza in my case. Never mind that you just ate at the bar 2-3 hours ago. Get the pie in the oven, see what’s on TV while you wait – damn I’m comfortzzzzzz…..

Douchery

Not certain if that's a proper word, but as a title for this post it's apt.

As a fitting end to DfV, I need to relate some hilarious circumstances that Mackey and I were privy to last evening. Now admittedly, DfV started strong but tapered off towards the last couple of days due to circumstances beyond our control. Shit happens. Fortunately we were able to make a suitable rally last night at The Hill.

The Hill, like many such places, has a challenge for patrons regarding its wing sauce. Nothing new there as I said, but last night was a real gem. Towards the higher end of the Scoville Scale, you will find a nasty little bastard called a Ghost Pepper. This vile nuke is beyond my taste buds, and I'm a hot sauce fanatic in general.

Anyhoo, we are enjoying a tasty meal, cold beverages, and in my case a large glass of delicious bourbon...the bar was not packed by any means, when some young folk at the bar decide to fuck up their evenings completely by participating in the challenge. To be brief, what started as a night of modest drinking ended in a gastro-holocaust for these two. One guy began in earnest, consuming three before breaking out in a sweat, drooling, and eventually puking in a hastily provided trash can. No amount of water, and later-milk- could help. The kitchen staff came out to scorn this well-meaning young man(read: laugh their asses off) before he put his head down in defeat. The kicker is that his friend looked upon this goddamn farce and decided "Hey, I want some of that." Set upon this course, he at least made it to the bathroom before puking all over the damn place. They went down faster than a cheap whore on check day.

Folks, these challenges...from large steaks, to hot sauce consumption...are invitations to defeat. Much like a casino, the house usually wins. These two defeated warriors slinked off with their friends to an evening filled with heartburn, hallucinations, and toilet paper usage. Even now I suspect they still have a 'lava tube' effect going on.

To sum up, these kids(clearly students) probably learned a lesson...and they'll remember that more than any exam or test during finals week. Welcome academic probation!

Word of Warning: Read the Menu

Sometimes you never know what you’ll get in life. There are going to be times when things don’t go your way and that’s just the way it is, it doesn’t matter if it’s big or small, good or bad. It can be major as a train wreck or insignificant as missing the bus, but really in hindsight most times you can identify the exact explanation that would or could have prevented a particular situation – had you only known it at that time.

I experienced one of these scenarios recently, the minor humorous variety. We were having food and drinks prior to the football game at The Hill. Needing an absorbing meal for obvious drinking reasons I wanted fries and a sandwich of some sort. Being an admitted fish and chips connoisseur addict (evidence here and here) I went for the fish sandwich that turned out to be pretty good, however the joke was revealed upon delivery. Had I only read the name of the sandwich I may have been prepared for the pun. We all had a good laugh with special thanks and appreciation to the dirty-minded bar waitress who made significant extra effort to ensure we had some fun. I present the Moby Dick sandwich.