Like a sackful of axe handles

Here at DK we pay attention to minor holidays as well as major ones. To be honest, so long as we can tie in a reason to drink we'll also honor the most obscure regional festival, visit the farthest winter gathering, and humor the vilest of Nilotic dark rites-you name it, we'll knock them back somehow.

Some of you may know that one of my favorites is the anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar.

Say what you want to about the overall quality of Brit drinks, the Royal Navy had a great naming convention going. While the sailors of yore(and indeed today) drank copious amounts of rum, the present Autumn weather makes me prefer what limited gin I am allowed to take the form of Hendricks-with cucumber of course.

Lately though I've been doing more window shopping at the package store, and I noticed this little doozy.

Also a promising naming convention. I might have to splurge on this luxury just in time for the TSIO, and tilt one back to Admiral Nelson. He need not know it comes from the Midwest. Hell, like he would care even.

Read this sumbitchin' wiki

www.beeripedia.com/index.php/Main_Page

Endorsement: Package Store

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Gawful

A little while ago, I was reading a sports message board I frequent in preparation for the UT shit-the-bed party this weekend.

One of the side threads I read with great amusement was a question about so-called "man laws" regarding BYOB protocols. Some of you may remember the dreadful Miller Lite commercials a few years ago with Mike Ditka, Burt Reynolds, and other paid shills that most likely wouldn't drink a Miller product if it was the last alcohol on Earth. The disparity of entertainment value from beer commercials these days is quite sad when compared to the glory days of alcohol advertisement in the early 80s. Ed "Too-Tall" Jones and Dick Butkus shit on the booze spots of the 21st century...and I dare you Captain Morgan pose making faggots to tell them otherwise.

Anyway, the specific question was whether or not it is okay to leave a party with any unconsumed beer you brought with you, or if said beer becomes property of the host. Technically the question is valid...and according to the clearinghouse that is Modern Drunkard Magazine, beer brought to a party transfers ownership at the end of the festivities. In short, buy more beer you cheap rube.

Here's my take however: This question is only partially valid. The proponents and chest thumpers that think it is cool to codify what a "man law" is fail to see the forest for the trees. A real man won't have to ask this question because a real man will DRINK EVERY DAMN THING HE BROUGHT WITH HIM. Moreover, if the party is really righteous he will also raid the fridge for booze that isn't his. The professional mercenary drunkard will also comb through cabinets in both kitchen and bathroom, utility and linen closets, laundry hampers and the garage for hidden booze. Trust me, find a bottle of premium vodka one time in a dresser drawer and you will sort through panties and boxer shorts for the next ten years hoping lightning will strike twice.

In short, make all the cute laws you want...I'll be too busy chugging your Newcastle Brown Ales to care.