Look here...

at this plowed sumbitch. Read on, from The Paper.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/usa/2934495/Kiefer-Sutherland-has-boozy-night-out-in-London.html

Well played Sutherland. While not yet rising to the basic qualifications for my Great Drunks segment, this act of hubris and folly is noted.

Being a scion of Hollywood and small screen royalty, Sutherland inherits some acting chops. Paparazzi are thus presented a rich gold mine.

Coincidentally, yours truly thinks his old man kicks...er...shows some serious ass. Iconic, people. One of the very best.

News Flash! College Students Boozing!

Two little articles that should be shared today.

First from across the pond we have this expose or report about a debauched event at Cambridge.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2482111/Cambridge-students-vomit-and-collapse-after-wild-party.html

Read it if you want. Personally, I like The Sun. Of all the UK quasi-tabloids, I read it like a guilty pleasure. The pictures in this particular article are typical of what I saw back at UTK in the early and mid-90s. Nonetheless the tone is most disparaging and alarmist.

Couple that with this recent gem from Forbes:

http://www.forbes.com/feeds/hscout/2009/06/15/hscout628059.html?feed=rss_forbeslife_health

Again, read this propaganda piece if you want. See, most of Christendom has known about this (questionable) phenomena since time immemorial. Young people away from their parents get trashed and engage in outrageous behavior? No foolsies?

A more apt entry could have been found in your most recent copy of "No Fucking Shit Digest" or by word of mouth on any campus not founded by uptight religious folk. Even then, you'll find the little zealots getting tanked from time to time. You know what, those kids usually turn out okay for it as well. After all, JC was known to hang around some rough characters in the beginning.

The second piece in Forbes is quite familiar...because you see every five years or so some uptight "experts" bemoan the completely patriotic collegiate exercise of getting shit-housed and making very bad decisions. Said busybodies will then posit and offer all kinds of odious solutions that don't amount to jack-shit.

Here at DK, we try to keep our politics out of it...in fact, some of our stronger opinion is just that--and, like assholes we all have them(gauche phrase, but I'm rolling here) but this one time let me just say, fuck off nannies. Life is at times full of wonders both subtle and grotesque. It can be hard. It can be confusing. Once a person leaves home to get going on their own life, our recently acquired freedom will test us in many ways. Some will party hard and still manage to get a decent education. Others will make awful, shitty decisions that will forever screw up their life or someone elses. That is part of it, folks. Fate, or God, or Cthulhu, or whomever will cull the wheat from the chaff, and college is a part of that. Moreover, this activity is not restricted to the students...folks that choose another career path after high school are still quite capable of going on an epic bender. Veterans, tradesmen, barber college...you name it.

So drink on college students. Get written on, eat shitty food, pull your pants off, get arrested, nail that beastly troglodyte...whatever twirls your beanie. Just promise me that when you achieve a level of responsibility or position of power, that you won't turn into the hypocrite that dwells in all of us when our values are challenged by age.

/rant fucking over

The Irish Question

Well, lookee here. It seems the nation's second outright yearly excuse to get shit-housed has arrived.

Say what you will about the apocryphal origins of that snake-driving sumbitch, the end result these days is that we get to thumb our nose at any sort of responsibility to drink a metric fuck ton of booze.

I've posted in the past about my resentment of these holidays...which sends forth the amatuer to drink with the pros, the latter of whom recognize no drinking calendar other than "today." Bosses will be on the prowl in the morning, the uptight prohibitionists will sniff derisively at your bloodshot eyes and gamey stench.

Fuck them. As much as I don't care about St. Patrick's day per se(Lots of English blood, so I naturally wish to oppress them) I will side with the dysfunctional Irish over the sober. After all, we get polluted on Tuesdays by rote.

Hopefully each of you has a bar in mind for today, so I'll spare you the various activities that are advertised in the local papers and leave you with a simple charge: Consume.

Great Drunks of the Silver Screen 6.0

I give you Richard Burton:

Strengths: Welsh, athletic prowess, cars

Weaknesses: Marriage, man-whoring, insomnia

Another in a long line of hard boozing actors from the UK, this Welsh bastard is well known the world over for his wide range of vocal talents and for nailing twentieth century hot actress ass. Hell, his decades long love/hate relationship with the iconic Elizabeth Taylor is the stuff of tabloid gold. Excuse me, I mean The Paper.

Burton was all but abandoned by his father, although Burton said he took many of his father's traits. He was loquacious, passionate, and violent. My kind of chap.

In post war Britain, Burton fell in with the likes of John Gielgud(Fucking A Hobson) and the venerable Michael Redgrave...this circle of fog breather boozers introduced him to Judy Garland and Humphrey Bogart, the latter and Burton becoming fast friends. In fact, many of Burton's early work was predicated by word of mouth accounts of his acting while drinking in pubs.

Though nearly everyone with a pulse is aware of the bizarre and lurid details of his marriages to Liz, what many folks aren't aware of is Burton's other notorious and lecherous behavior. (Fucker was in Equus after all) Burton attempted to nail Joan Collins, and after being rebuffed was reputed to consort with the elderly, interracial, and homosexual behavior. Deviant fucking Welshman. In fact, shortly after their interaction Burton is allegedly to have told Collins he would sleep with a snake if it wore a skirt. Damn, that's nasty.