2 Shows Coming To Town

So I got some email requests (among dozens of spam) since I added the new links to the blog last week and have some entertainment options to share with you. First things first though, I sure as hell don’t plan on making a habit of listing every damn band or special event that finds its way to our blog, period. But for shits and giggles I decided to list these two events and hope that the shows are worthwhile should any of our readers decide to attend. I’m hoping to make at least one of them.

Sunday, January 10 at the Pilot Light – Geronimo!

From the band’s email:

I love that your blog exists. It's a pretty damn sweet premise for a blog.

Flattery will get you everywhere my friend, even if it is contrived to schmooze. Nevertheless it worked and I’ve included a blurb from their press kit below:

Geronimo! is a three piece rock band from Chicago, IL. We have two five-song EPs available on E-Van Records. In the year that we have been together, we have booked two tours across the western and midwestern parts of the U.S. In addition to booking our shows, we write and record our own music, as well as make and design our own merchandise. Members of the band have previously played in various other Chicago bands including Inspector Owl, Picture Books, The Gunshy, and The Honeybear Wild and have recorded with bands including Troubled Hubble, The Felix Culpa, and Surround Sound.

They may have forgotten to list Smugly Dismissed and Sausage Assassin for all I know. So there it is, you know as much about them as I do. More information is available here. I hope they kick ass.

Monday, January 11 at 4620 Reinvented – The Party Show

This one sounds like good ol' dirty fun.

From Clams’ email:

...Exotic creatures from Baltimore and New York City bring you an over-the-top night of world-class shenanigans! From the award-winning teams of burlesque stars Trixie Little & the Evil Hate Monkey, and Anita Cookie & Clams Casino, THE PARTY SHOW is a wild-campy-comedic-circus-burlesque night with mind-blowing acrobatics, jaw-dropping striptease and madly brilliant stupidity! Bringing together the Eastern Seaboard's hottest performers from the burlesque, circus and variety worlds, it’s like a visual shot of tequila mixed with an intelligent champagne chaser that will leave you drunk enough to laugh but lucid enough to remember. The show will star Trixie, Monkey, Anita and Clams, as well as Coney Island Red Hot, Little Brooklyn (combined, the winners of 8 coveted trophies at the world's only international burlesque pageant in Las Vegas) and local superstars Kisa Von Teasa and Siren Santina.

What a sweet girl. Plus there appears to be some local talent at the gig, so go check 'em out because I know you don't have shit-else going on Monday night. More information here and here, be sure to check out their pics, good shit.

Mixed Bag

Hey drunks! Although we’re mighty glad to have Scarlett back on the scene I thought we may want to do at least one update this week, so I’ve put together a mixed bag of random topics. We’ve got Knoxville events, drinking and music but not necessarily in that order. Let’s get straight to it. Allez!!

The Party Bike

This is pretty damn cool but I don't think we could get away with something like this in the US, much less Knoxville. While scavenging Google for images to rip off for another blog post I found this

(from original post)
Definitely the best thing I’ve ever seen to work off a beer belly. This is basically a party bike. It has four wheels and is powered entirely by foot power. Everyone has a seat around this bar, and each seat has its own set of pedals. The bartender in the middle of the bar steers, because he’s sober, but all the people drinking around the sides add power to the vehicle.

What a surprise, another fun idea from the Dutch. This picture is from several years ago so some of you may have seen or been on one of these. I think this would be serious fun. I can envision using this on UT game days, drinking and pedaling around town, enjoying some nice weather. Yeah right, with our drunken bunch we’d be too hammered after a few rounds of tailgating stops. I bet the damn thing would wind up a trash heap left on the side of the road. Just being realistic.

Looking Ahead

Spring is here and some favorite local events are just around the corner. I haven’t been a huge fan of Sundown in the City for the past few years due to excessive lines for ID checks, beer tickets and beer itself, not to mention the event has outgrown Market Square and the regrettable trend of drop-off daycare for teenagers. Whatever, I still like having the event downtown and manage to drop by for at least a couple of shows. Then continue to the bar.

Here is the Sundown schedule, from Metro Pulse

April 9 -- Arrested Development with special guest
April 16 -- Cowboy Mouth with Phil Pollard & Band of Humans
April 23 -- Karl Denson's Tiny Universe with Brent Thompson & His Wandering
April 30 -- Big Head Todd & the Monsters with Joan Jones
May 7 -- Local night featuring Royal Bangs, Same As It Ever Was, and Tenderhooks
May 14 -- Gavin Rossdale with Vertigo
May 21 -- Grupo Fantasma and The Belleville Outfit
May 28 -- Dave Barnes with Jonathan Sexton & The Big Love Choir
June 4 -- Shooter Jennings with 1220
June 11 -- Grace Potter & the Nocturnals with special guest
June 18 -- The Wailers performing the classic reggae album Exodus in its entirety with special guest Toubab Krewe
June 25 -- Jamey Johnson with Brendon James Wright & The Wrongs

UT Orange and White Game

Saturday, April 18 at 3 PM

Hey I know it’s just a damn scrimmage game but this is a new era. Usually I skip this nonsense but you can bet your ass that I’ll be attending this year. As fans we could use the practice too – start front loading well ahead of game time, gather with friends, talk your shit, go to the bars afterward, etc.

Rossini Festival Street Fair - Knoxville Opera
http://rossinifestival.org/

Saturday, April 25 12:00 - 9 PM.

Now we’re talking! Let’s see, block off a couple of streets downtown, sell wine, beer, Italian sausages and other foods, add music, performing arts, crafts, hopefully good weather – all within close proximity of restaurants and bars selling more food and drink. Yep, sounds good to me.

Music

From The Smoking Section comes one of my favorite new finds. Forgive me if I’m years behind the rest of you slackers but I’ve never heard of Lou Draws until now. Fucking. Funny. Here he is singing Youngest MILF, very Bobby Brown. I had a hard time deciding to go with that one over "Juicealicious" or "Sweatpants and Birkenstocks" (wait for the Frito-smelling shoes comment near the end, a la Oran Juice Jones back in the day), so if you have time to kill I suggest going to YouTube for these gems.


Oh, This

From one of those forwarded emails, something about if you're ever at a company party with a 1 drink limit...









And just because it's out there

Thank you Lindsay

Alcohol Awareness

One of my favorite things about autumn in East Tennessee is that it seems to provide ample opportunities for drinking. Not that we don't drink a shitload of alcohol during the rest of the year, but in the fall, we seem to do it in groups a lot.

In fact, there are so many opportunities for Organized Boozing during the month of October, that I am hereby declaring it Knoxville Alcohol Awareness Month. Because, as I think everyone here would agree, it is important that we all be aware of the alcohol we are imbibing, or, at least, aware that we are imbibing alcohol. Whatever.

The following is a list of some of the alcohol-related events that I've heard about (and may or may not actually attend...depending on how drunk I've gotten beforehand); please feel free to add to the list by leaving a comment, if you know of something I've left out.

Friday, October 3rd: Wine on the Water.
For all of you winos out there, this is Knoxville's premier wine tasting event. Bonus: It's for charity. And who doesn't like to drink for charity.

Saturday, October 4th: Tennessee vs. Northern Illinois.
Is anyone actually going to the stadium for this game? No? Good, we can all meet at a bar and get drunk, as we watch the Vols attempt to actually win one.

Friday, October 10th: Cocktails in the Attic.
Hmmm...cocktails and an auction. Is this a bad idea? Better go and find out. Also, I love the L&N Station. It's such a neat and, in my opinion, underutilized building.

Saturday, October 11th: Brewers' Jam.
I don't need to say a lot about this event, as my colleague Tag Berauscht is doing a fucking miniseries on it. (Kidding, Tag! I'm loving your work so far.) I went to the BJ (hehe) last year and had a blast, so this year I'm just praying that we have good weather again. Because, World's Fair Park can be a bit of a mudpit when it rains.

Saturday, October 18th: Tennessee vs. Mississippi State.
At this point, the Vols are expected to have a 2-4 record. If that ain't an excuse to get together and drink (and boycott Fat Phil), then I don't know what is.

Sunday, October 19th: Hops and Hope 5K.
Let me get this straight: You run in a 5K, and at the end of it, you get to drink beer? Oh, I am so there. Unless, of course, I'm too hung over from the night before. It's a tough call.

Saturday, October 25th: Tennessee vs. Alabama.
One word: Belligerent.

Friday, October 31st: Halloween.
Okay, so I haven't actually listed a specific event here, but I'm sure there will be plenty to choose from. And, with Halloween finally on a decent day this year (the past three years, it was on Mon., Tues., and Wed., dammit), I might actually dress up. This will definitely be a fine night to cap off what looks to be an excellent month of drinking in Knoxville.

And with that...let the Organized Boozing begin!

Gotterdammerung

Setting: Early Saturday morning...Mackey's couch. I'm alive, at least on some immoderate level. Allow me to show you as best I can what was going on inside my skull:

Get the idea? I swear Mad Max and The Lord Humongous were chasing each other in what once was a reasonably active mind. All motor control, gone. Attempts to rise...utterly fucked. Well, seems like it must be the sixth of September.

You see, I rarely lose memories or blackout. Believe me, that's not always a good thing. I've seen shit that'll turn you white with febrile confusion. As for most of my birthday, as Mackey has recounted, I put on a drinking clinic before succumbing to unconsciousness. The truly great part of a real nasty birthday tear is the hostility your friends really have for you. Oh sure, it's great fun...till you see furtive giggles as one "friend" slinks off to a far bartender. Said sumbitch or third-rate tart won't comeback with a stout bourbon. No, those hours are passed by and by (along with respectability). Instead, Patron rears its nasty sombrero. Jager hunts. The bow legged woman demands an audience. Any number of drinks that end with -zee's and -drops follow at a pretanatural pace. The Valkyries were definitely choosers of the slain that night.

Feh. I'm glad this sort of power-drinking only comes round once a year. Always nice to have it around Labor Day and the start of football season...makes the transition into Drinksgiving that much easier. Still, the hangover was impressive and defied description. It was a definite badge of honor.

Many thanks to all those for their well wishes and I salute the drinking buddies from Friday night. I won't forget it, you bastards. Heaven help the next one of you with a reason to celebrate.

Bar Review: Southern Graces Skybox

Not long ago, Mackey regaled us with his prescient skills and foretold the good news that the Sunsphere would be pushing booze. He has that ability apparently when it is booze related. He is Beeradamus. Anyway, the setting:

Last week we took the long elevator ride up to the bar. First one must be patient and take the elevator on the right...Number One. This will only happen after Number Two answers the call five times in a row. At least. By the time you get to the 4th floor you will have found yourself thirsty, needing to take a whiz, and utterly spent of small talk for the ride up. Feh.

ELEVATOR FLIES OPEN

Well, first off you see the bar itself. The best piece in the joint actually. All the little things in the area seem to be well decorated and crisp. The bar looks out over the Fort, and you can really see quite a ways up to the ridge. Same with the other side of downtown and south Knoxville. It's quite bright...swinging back over to The Compound, and UT...the Hill and Stadium are prominent.

It's really dark in here. Like makeout dark. Most folks are trying and failing miserably at any suitable pictures...yours truly no exception.

Some things were curious though. The service is still badly working out the kinks. The cocktail tables to the left of the bar are high tops, and when boozing you get a righteous case of vertigo if you aren't ready for it. That does fade though, and one gets use to the dark surroundings in a hurry to really appreciate the view.

It ain't cheap...no draft beers, wine and liquor are encouraged. I have no problem with either. Especially the latter.

I hope this enterprise can make it...given the logistic concerns, crowd management might be a problem. Then again, I can think of worse issues. Get your ass up there soon, in any case.

5 Day Weekend

Man this is awesome. Slept in today for the first time in a loooong time and I feel better already. I had some vacation time accumulated that I needed to use so I thought why not make it an extended holiday weekend. Not that I have a single plan to do anything special, but I do plan on watching a shitload of college football and the U.S. Open on my kick-ass TV. And drinking. Of course drinking! I just hope my keg holds up through the weekend, we'll see. I may have to add a bottle of fine bourbon (or more) for the occasion.

So I noticed the SEC will be featured heavily on TV all weekend. I think we have South Carolina and Vanderbilt playing tonight, none on Friday, the regular Saturday lineup, then Kentucky on Sunday and the Vols play prime time Monday night. Awesome!

Amongst all the sport viewing on the telly there are some social circles I plan to visit. A friend of the authors (and longtime bartender at a favorite spot) is moving out of town with his pregnant girlfriend and I plan to attend their sendoff party on Friday night. Plus another close friend just had a new baby this week and they are having people over to visit throughout the weekend so I want to drop by there at some point. What's with all the baby mess?

Not to forget Boomsday, everybody and their aunt loves some Boomsday fireworks!! I won't be attending the street party but may take in the fireworks display if I'm upright and sober enough. Should be a great 5 days of fun if I don't kill my liver or get sensory overload with all the sports. Shit, I almost forgot - I'm supposed to check out the Sunsphere Skybox, or whatever the hell they call it. Damn, I've got to get busy. We'll see if I can recall any of it next week...

Persiflage

Be it resolved that while the theory of two buck Shiner Bock pints is a good thing...the vodka tonic that followed was gratuitous and completely unnecessary. Mixed props for the weirdos at the bar that, while looking quite freaky, do have excellent musical taste. Something quizzical about unabashedly jamming to Night Ranger and The Scorpions in public. Drinking IPA in a salsa jar also made no sense, King Randall.

And a note to the Vol in the corner: Roll those Bruin sumbitches up a week from today.

The Lost Art of the Pub Crawl

This purloined picture kicks ass, no?

Following on today's post regarding the legal drinking age and returning collegians, I began thinking about the time honored tradition of pub crawls. Generally, this could be a garden variety post that is not remarkable in the larger sense. Specifically though for Knoxville, it gets a little complex. (What a fucking surprise)

You see, back in the 1990's Knoxville and Knox County apparently didn't get the memo on urban sprawl. I'll spare you the noxious and overly technical accusations about finger annexations, zoning and the like and just say that this town isn't friendly to pub crawlers as a whole. Last Christmas, during the heyday of Whiskey Season the authors and some friends decided to resurrect this fun practice. It was okay, but failed to really achieve the goal of at least ten bars. We had a good crowd, but that sort of works against you when pubs are cloistered in regions that require either a driver, cab, or transportation other than one's feet. If you want to start way out west and work your way into downtown or the Old City, then pack a lunch and good fucking luck.

While waxing idiotic on my college days in the early/mid 90's I can remember getting close to twenty degenerate power drinkers and floozies together on the Strip and moving westward. Vintage bars like Hawkeyes, The Roman Room, Out-of-Bounds, Spicys(the very first one), The Lap, The Library, O'Chucks, Ruby Tuesdays(again, the first one before the chain sucked), Tap Room...all would be hit before ending up at OCI's. Those were the days. First, if you could stand at the bar you would get served...none of this pussified carding shit the law has now screwed us with(eat shit teenagers) and you could walk to each of them. These days, Knoxville is set up with little cliques and fiefdoms in sections of town that rarely interact with one another. It's provincial.

This really isn't a problem in other places, so I confess a bit of jealousy there. The good people at http://www.yourpubcrawl.com/ for example, can set you up with a nominal drinking tour of Edinburgh.

Not bad. I am sure other resources similar to this one are out there. Personally though, I just think that these things are best done by word of mouth, so motivation and a powerful sense of guile are needed. Grab a group of thirsty bastards and descend on several local bars like a MIRV:

If you do it correctly, you should leave the various bars in a similar state...that is to say, radioactive and utterly uninhabitable.

As football season nears along with the Whiskey Season, I encourage each of you to reclaim your honor by hitting every bar you can within one courageous night.

New Holiday

...or at least one that should be. Go over to http://www.repealday.org/ and give some attention to this movement. I heartily endorse the efforts to celebrate the death of the 18th Amendment, one of the more odious and utterly dipshitted actions in American history.

Note to the neo-temperance movement: Prohibition never works.

Opprobrium

Ahh...so how did you all wind down your weekend, or even just late Sunday evening? Perhaps sipping a zinfandel or braiding hair?

Heh heh heh

Weekend Predictions

Things that will happen this weekend:

Drinking Knoxville:

• Every author of this blog will get drunk at least twice (some of us on the same day)
• Scarlett O'Harlot will encounter some "drama" in her social life, okay no surprise there
• King Randall the Insufferable will not contribute to the blog, he already forgot his password
• Lord von Lord will talk a bunch of shit, no one will listen or care
• Tag Berauscht will piss-off his girlfriend no matter what he does, again no surprise
• Yours truly will drink at a bar I've never been to in Knoxville (it isn't easy to find one)

Sports:

• UT football coach Phil Fulmer will be "excited" about the upcoming season
• Team USA Basketball team will crush Russia in Sunday warm up
• Ken Griffey, Jr. and Manny Ramirez will homer for their new teams
• Rafa Nadal will win in Cincy and become the new world #1 tennis player
• The NFL Hall of Fame game this Sunday (Colts v. Redskins) will suck. But it is NFL football, sorta

Tuesday Night Drinks

This Tuesday promises to be another great installment of TND. Not only will there be drinks aplenty (no kidding), but tonight we have a special out of town guest visiting all the way from Philly, PA - Lt. Rocka! I should say passing through because he is on a long-ass road trip - driving from Philly to Los Angeles to live in paradise. Not knowing when he'll be passing this way again we need to show him a good time and make this visit to K-town one to remember.

Now Rocka is a UT alum and knows this town from top to bottom. Or at least he used to before "the Strip" was converted to a sandwich/chicken finger concession stand and West Knoxville stretched to Turkey Creek. Nonetheless his ample skills will be enough to get him through 1 night in our little ol' town. I'm sure we'll start by front loading at my place awaiting his arrival. After that is an open slate. Lt. Rocka is all about the music scene so I may scour the local listings to see if anything decent is happening. In the mean time I've included a link to his music downloads if you're up for some mixed music, spoken word and other crazy shit. Check it out, have some fun, you know the drill.

Monday Hangover

Goddammit I’m kicking mad!! Today was supposed to get off to a great start. Monday hangover was going to cover all the fun I had getting pissed drunk all weekend. All the beer I drank Friday starting at lunch. The beautiful new keg of IPA I have in my kick-ass kegerator. The 2nd drunk Friday evening going into the early hours of the morning. The cookout/bonfire Saturday night complete with whiskey drinking. And even further drinking Sunday afternoon at Sidestreet Tavern.

But no. No. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. My laptop has crashed. Again.

Computers crash and burn all the time, but mine was just fresh from the repair shop for less than two weeks and it apparently has the exact same problem as before. So instead of typing my worthless, drunken account of the weekend on my private laptop I’m limited to my work PC. I’m so pissed off about it that I could really use a drink….

Haiku

Work ends on Friday
Weekend drinks for happiness
Monday sucks anew

Novelty Nostalgia

On the heels of Lord von Lord's tirade against the mix-pack I was reminded of some other gimmicks, novelties, etc. from the past that I haven't thought of in a while. Shit like this has been going on as long as people have been drinking. Surely the ancient Sumerians had some annoying asshole going around offering the latest crazee straw made of reeds, "Gets you drunk faster" he would claim. Well, we've come a long way, baby. Check these out:


Aw yeah, test tube shots! Remember these? Who knows when these were first introduced, I'm guessing the 1980's. When first introduced they were probably the coolest thing anyone had ever seen. Someone had a cool idea, perhaps a theme party. Maybe some students finishing med school decided to throw a bash and dress as mad scientists drinking wild concoctions out of test tubes. RAD!

At about the same time another party favorite was making the rounds at college dorms, high school house parties, and even military bases. I've heard that secrecy was the catalyst behind this novelty. Anywhere alcohol was not permitted would be a great place for this one, namely high school teenagers living with their parents, underage college students living in the dorms, and yes, even military personnel denied the right to keep booze in the barracks.

The Jello shot. Oh, what better way to conceal your booze right under the authorities noses than in the innocent, kid dessert known as J-E-L-L-O? Bill Cosby never knew it was heading this way. I was first introduced to this gimmick while stationed at A-school right out of boot camp in 1988. I was only 18 and didn't have a clue about this furtive practice. We had inspections often, and sure enough one time we were quizzed about the tub of jello stowed in the mini-fridge. Either our platoon leader was cutting us pukes a break, or he had absolutely no idea, but we sailed right through inspection. We were free to go out for the weekend and do some proper, underage drinking.



You still see these type drinks out in the bars from time to time, but not very often. Which is fine with me as I've moved past the gimmicks. I drink bourbon on the rocks now. I drink strong beer. I drink rich, red wine. But every now and then it doesn't hurt to revisit the past and take one of those stupid shots. C'mon, you know you want to.

The Functional Drunk-Movies

Apart from boozing on the water or camping, one of the great joys of summer drinking is getting torched before hitting the movie theater. Seems simple enough, but the truth is that since you are intertwined with "the sober" one must keep a level head.


Let us be clear...the majority of Hollywood's drek is barely tolerable when smashed, I cannot imagine watching such shiesse with a clear head. Consider this year...for every Iron Man, there is a dismal Shrek sequel(fuck you CGI money grab) and for every Batman there is a some tepid romcom that makes seppuku look like a valid option. It stands to reason that one should pound some drinks before going to the theater.


Fortunately, the industry is making it easier. For one, most places now have automated ticket machines that allow the hammered patron to avoid personal contact. Granted, it's not really an issue to breathe gin fumes on the pimply faced line-jobber...but no need to tip your hand. Stride with pride up to the ticket-taker and quickly move on to your viewing. I personally recommend drinking liquor drinks prior to the movie...beers just fill you up and force an ill timed bathroom visit, usually during the impressive space battle or early car chase scene. Despite the brevity of your trip to the pissoir, you WILL miss a salient point and thus rob yourself of the whole experience. Be sure and drink too much before the movie, lest you find yourself getting sober during the interminable 30 minutes of previews.



If you choose to booze during the film, some thoughts and advice. Flasks are the usual option, but be quick and discrete, as the flash of metal will cause some uptight religious type to report you to the usher before going home to his/her porn collection with smug satisfaction. If you have a darker color or plastic flask, you are good to go. Speaking from personal experience, I cannot recommend spiking your coke with booze. First off, that means you will spend a ten note on the smallest cup they have-possibly starting a drunken rant at such legalized theft. Secondly, in my case the bourbon will eat its way through the bottom. It's happened. Many times. Nothing outs you quite so quickly as liquor fumes dispersing in the theater(baffling situation, since most theaters reek anyway) and as said booze runs down the angled floor. Embarrassing at best.

In short, you've got some good summer films left...why not tie one on and increase your enjoyment. I know your fellow patrons will appreciate you for making a mundane trip out with the family more memorable. Good viewing, fuckfaces.

Tuesday Night Drinks

Yep it's that time again - Tuesday!! Tonight will be another installment of a favorite pastime known as TND. Do Tuesdays ever seem like the worst day of the week? Why not take the edge off with some drinks? For those times when you can't make it to "hump day" and need something to break up the week, having drinks on Tuesday night with the boys or girls is the logical thing to do.

Now I realize having drinks (getting drunk) on a Tuesday is no real accomplishment. Real drunks don't know or care what day of the week it is as long as they have their precious hooch. But for functional drunks like us there are certain restraints we must endure: jobs, bosses, bills, etc. That is why sneaking in a rip-roaring session of boozing on a Tuesday is a perfect distraction from all the other shit going on. Plus your boss is less likely to expect a hungover employee in the middle of the week. Besides, what the hell are you going to do on a Tuesday night anyway? Exactly, nobody makes plans for Tuesday night. There are only 3 requirements for a proper TND:

1. Invite at least 1 other person to join you
2. Get some hooch
3. Drink it - all of it!

There is no wrong way to go about this. Hooch of all types are acceptable and variety is encouraged. Wine is always a good call. It never hurts to have some fine spirits around to pick up the pace when things get bogged down. Beer is an obvious choice and what we will be drinking tonight (wine & vodka as backups).

By all means feel free to mix it up. Hit the bars - they'll love the business on a usually slow night and you'll have the run of the place. Move it around amongst your group of friends' houses/apartments to make sure they risk the probability of things getting broken. Or take a break from your usual drink of choice and try something new. Instead of your staple Jim Beam try Old Charter. Put down the Smirnoff Ice (egads!) and have a real vodka drink. Surprise your friends with an imported bottle of absinthe!! You get the idea, now go out there and drink tonight. Otherwise when you wake up all sober on Wednesday you'll feel just like all the other working schleps out there.

The Irish Are Coming

Oh those arrogant Irish! I stumbled across a website yesterday about the 1st Annual Irish Festival of Knoxville. As a drunken Scots-Irish descendant you'd think I'd be excited about a new Celtic celebration, or at least supportive. But I'm rather confused by the whole fest. Do we not already honor their kind with a nationally recognized holiday in March? Is this some kind of reaction to Boston winning the NBA title for the first time in 22 years? Hardly. Apparently this is a fund raiser for the local police and firefighters associations. Ho hum, I guess that is okay, but do we need to have it in the middle of summer in freakin' July? I can see scores, perhaps hundreds of pasty-white "Celts" out on the lawns at World's Fair Park ready to burst into flames. (I hope to have my pasty-white arse on the lake!)

If you visit the site you'll find a brief history of Irish immigrants and public service, ticket information ($10 adults, kids free), vendor and sponsorship opportunities, and how the event will be Green. Get it, green? Irish Green - Environment Green. Whatever. Show me to the beer and whiskey vendors and let me drink - that's my heritage. I just hope the police benefiting from the event will let the crowd have a good time without making their arrest quotas on-site.

Tag is 40!

Our very own Tag Berauscht had a birthday recently and turned the big 4-0. Congrats for making it this far gramps - we're all thoroughly impressed that your liver has held up this long. Your dedication to daily-drinking has served you well so far, so don't go changing anytime soon. Well, change your Depends as necessary, but keep on drinking poopy-pants.

Back to Florida

No I have not made a second trip; why in the hell would I do that. No this is just something that deserved its own post. Ok so there we were near the end of our trip and we have barely left our little area, so let’s explore, let us see what normal tourist do, blah. So we head south to
Turns out to be as touristy as touristy spots get, blah. That’s alright I tell my self over and over, because we haven’t done any of this yet so one evening won’t hurt. Everybody else with us was there to eat; me just to drink. So Miss. Berauscht and I get to walk around to some shops while they wait on a table; not bad, some decent shops some tourist traps. Soon I get the call; table ready at the Hut. The place is all done up for your family of vacationers: fake trees painted on every post, fake stone figures, foe bamboo, blah. So I look down the draft line, all crap, as I remind myself it’s ok it is just one evening. They can’t even provide a decent bottle. I settle on a Makers on the rocks. It arrives at the table looks like a normal pour, but in a plastic cup; I once again remind myself. It goes down well and the Miss. and I want to go walking while they eat, so we ask for the tab. $11.00; I was ready for something around there so no big deal, until further review $6.00 for my Makers and $1.00 for the rocks. Yes a dollar for the ice. This is unacceptable, I didn’t order a mixer with it, no soda, nothing but ice. This isn’t some Euro shit hole where they covet ice like oil. I would have been happy to pay $7 for the drink on vacation but to seriously charge for ice and point it out is outrageous. This better not become a common practice; for ice is still too cheap for a restaurant not suck up the cost form other places. Another reason for drinking beer when out and whiskey at home.