Possum Weekend

This isn’t a George Jones promotion, although no one here will stop you from enjoying the classic country bard. Knoxville’s very own rugby team is celebrating 30 years of play on the pitch. Scrums, rucks, mauls, hookers – all good times. The Possums have a solid, well established team that has competed for many years throughout the region at a very high level. They have close ties with the accomplished UT club team and, I believe, have helped grow the sport via youth and high school programs with pretty good success. In addition to their achievements on the pitch they are also prolific drinkers. These guys are champion boozers, drunkards and tosspots. They put the fun in functional alcoholics. They like the sauce. Arthur Bach would ask them to take it down a notch – that’s how much they like to drink.

To celebrate their anniversary they will host their annual banquet at Calhoun’s on the River this Friday night followed by a day of rugby vs. Johnson City at Possum Park on Saturday. Plus the UT “A” and “B” squads will play as well. Directions and more information are available at www.knoxvillerugby.com. Maybe the banquet is off limits but there will be plenty of time for drinks afterwards, just guard your women. Hell, in fact if you are a woman looking for some interaction with brutish juiceheads this may be just what you’re looking for. This group isn’t the most discriminating bunch of guys in town, trust me I’ve been there. And if you’ve never watched or been to a rugby match before this is a great opportunity to make it happen. The weather is supposed to be cool and clear, admission is free and you can BYOB (or at least you could in the past, I haven’t been in a while). It’s a good time and fun to watch these guys run and beat the hell out of each other just for sport. As an “old boy” I congratulate and salute the Possums on 30 years of success and wish them many more. Cheers!

Like a sackful of axe handles

Here at DK we pay attention to minor holidays as well as major ones. To be honest, so long as we can tie in a reason to drink we'll also honor the most obscure regional festival, visit the farthest winter gathering, and humor the vilest of Nilotic dark rites-you name it, we'll knock them back somehow.

Some of you may know that one of my favorites is the anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar.

Say what you want to about the overall quality of Brit drinks, the Royal Navy had a great naming convention going. While the sailors of yore(and indeed today) drank copious amounts of rum, the present Autumn weather makes me prefer what limited gin I am allowed to take the form of Hendricks-with cucumber of course.

Lately though I've been doing more window shopping at the package store, and I noticed this little doozy.

Also a promising naming convention. I might have to splurge on this luxury just in time for the TSIO, and tilt one back to Admiral Nelson. He need not know it comes from the Midwest. Hell, like he would care even.

The Irish Question

Well, lookee here. It seems the nation's second outright yearly excuse to get shit-housed has arrived.

Say what you will about the apocryphal origins of that snake-driving sumbitch, the end result these days is that we get to thumb our nose at any sort of responsibility to drink a metric fuck ton of booze.

I've posted in the past about my resentment of these holidays...which sends forth the amatuer to drink with the pros, the latter of whom recognize no drinking calendar other than "today." Bosses will be on the prowl in the morning, the uptight prohibitionists will sniff derisively at your bloodshot eyes and gamey stench.

Fuck them. As much as I don't care about St. Patrick's day per se(Lots of English blood, so I naturally wish to oppress them) I will side with the dysfunctional Irish over the sober. After all, we get polluted on Tuesdays by rote.

Hopefully each of you has a bar in mind for today, so I'll spare you the various activities that are advertised in the local papers and leave you with a simple charge: Consume.

Great Drunks of the Silver Screen 7.0

Ladies and gents, I give you this fading gem:

Bad ass. There are many pictures and images for this iconic late 70's early 80's genre, but few also encompass the soundtrack consisting of Rabbitt, Rich, and Tillis. Are you shitting me?

For every trained orangutan there had to be a hundred angry brawling shit-tossers. Yet Clyde drinks with his human friend Philo Beddoe. A lot. In fact we noticed during this movie they were drinking on the road(acceptable during this period) brawling in meat processing plants, staying in shitty hotels, etc. All the while plowed on the relevant beers of the day...during one scene Philo and Clyde hit about a dozen bars and dives, each painstakingly shot in vivid drunken style.

Olympia for Chrissakes. Cachet.

During one scene following the pub crawl, Philo and primate return to the shady hotel and wake up their companions in the middle of the night...rationally explaining how Clyde needs some sex and needs his stroke immediately. Of course, a willing female of genus Pongo is recruited. Seriously, Clyde gets laid instantly. Baffling, but rational somehow at 3:00 in the morning.

This film's primary antagonists also fit the bill. The nefarious and utterly inept Black Widows end up losing, and badly at that, every contest they face in pursuit of Philo.

Relentless in chase, fools in execution...the Black Widows are thwarted by the elderly, some armed with shotguns, but on SSI in any case. Despite this Cholla maintains a lax attitude toward the gang's boozing...encouraging the use of sidecars as coolers, filled with delicious Coors.

The film is filled with drunken brawling, errant tractor trailers, a dwindling supply of choppers, and a wan Sandra Locke milking her time with Clint. Let's not kid ourselves, this film is about boozing and the kickass relationship between trained primate and slightly better trained primate. Who among us can forget "Right turn, Clyde?"

Or simple wonder of an animal telling us all to FO.

Drink on, fiend. You're still more civilized than half the bastards I know.