Possum Weekend

This isn’t a George Jones promotion, although no one here will stop you from enjoying the classic country bard. Knoxville’s very own rugby team is celebrating 30 years of play on the pitch. Scrums, rucks, mauls, hookers – all good times. The Possums have a solid, well established team that has competed for many years throughout the region at a very high level. They have close ties with the accomplished UT club team and, I believe, have helped grow the sport via youth and high school programs with pretty good success. In addition to their achievements on the pitch they are also prolific drinkers. These guys are champion boozers, drunkards and tosspots. They put the fun in functional alcoholics. They like the sauce. Arthur Bach would ask them to take it down a notch – that’s how much they like to drink.

To celebrate their anniversary they will host their annual banquet at Calhoun’s on the River this Friday night followed by a day of rugby vs. Johnson City at Possum Park on Saturday. Plus the UT “A” and “B” squads will play as well. Directions and more information are available at www.knoxvillerugby.com. Maybe the banquet is off limits but there will be plenty of time for drinks afterwards, just guard your women. Hell, in fact if you are a woman looking for some interaction with brutish juiceheads this may be just what you’re looking for. This group isn’t the most discriminating bunch of guys in town, trust me I’ve been there. And if you’ve never watched or been to a rugby match before this is a great opportunity to make it happen. The weather is supposed to be cool and clear, admission is free and you can BYOB (or at least you could in the past, I haven’t been in a while). It’s a good time and fun to watch these guys run and beat the hell out of each other just for sport. As an “old boy” I congratulate and salute the Possums on 30 years of success and wish them many more. Cheers!

World Cup Fever

Have you heard about it? Apparently Patrick Sullivan's in the Old City didn't get the notice. I'm no soccer fan but I wanted to take in the USA vs. England match to experience the hype and hopefully see an exciting game at the highest level. King Randall The Insufferable and I decided to meet at a bar to watch the game, and naturally we waited until the last minute to choose our venue. The obvious downtown locations, Soccer Taco and Crown & Goose, were standing room only. I was already in the Old City and Sullivan's was open so I pressed my face to the window and saw a mostly empty bar. Great, problem solved.

It was only a few minutes until match time (kickoff?). The small TV behind the bar was tuned to something else and the large TV above wasn't even turned on. The single patron at the bar paid his tab and left. A soccer-seeking couple entered and left immediately, disappointed by the lack of soccer hooligans I suspect. So there I sat alone until KRTI strolled in. We had the game switched on the small TV. Eventually other patrons arrived and some were actual soccer fans there to watch the game, though not very many. The game was put on the big TV, a few more customers came in and the game turned out to be a dud, at least in my opinion. The USA earned a 1-1 draw on a lucky goal that was muffed by the English goal keeper. Overall it was a good time and the lack of soccer enthusiasm at Sullivan's didn't matter that much at all. The best part of the "experience" was a 4 -5 beer head start on the rest of the day.

Olympic Drinking

Fucking China. I was debating on maybe trying to capitalize on the ubiquitous and nauseating amounts of coverage NBC and their whores will hoist upon us beginning...well today actually. To be honest, I am not sure if I should punish my liver for the sins of the orient.

I'm on record as stating this Olympics will have some sort of calamity written all over it.(No I am not referring to the shit paper ripped from a teletubbies episode) Many blogs that I read are of the same opinion, although you wouldn't know much of it from the so-called regular media. These asshats can't grovel fast enough to the Chicoms, while giving lip service to freedom of the press yada yada yada. Being born on the day of the Munich Massacre, I claim clairvoyance on this esoteric and narrow project. There have been the standard reports of pollution, violence at checkpoints, and general commie fuckery. I'm still pulling for some exotic disaster, perhaps a dragon war or the appearance of Zombie Genghis Khan, you know...a real fuckup of Jovian proportion.

Anyhoo. I thought I might try and enlist the group into some of sort of drinking game for the Olympics. Not the faggotry that some locals think of as drinking games, this is strict power boozing and low-key jackassery. Perhaps a beer or shot for every gold medal the USA brings back( I believe that was around 36 or so for the 2004 Summer Games) at the conclusion of ceremonies. Then again, my heart really isn't into it...and to be honest, I'll probably drink that much anyway. So, to close this pointless entry, I've included an image of mostly humorous drunken acts that might be construed as athletic competition. Well, at the Delta Tau Chi house.

50 BILLION DOLLARS!!!!!

As most of you drunks have heard by now, Anheuser Busch has been purchased by a Belgian conglomerate for some $52 gazillion dollars. Many observers have commented about the "loss" of a great American institution, the greatest beer in the world, etc. I say good riddance - I've been over their products for years now. Most of what I've heard in the media is about loyalty: Will you still drink Bud even though it is no longer an American company? Do you feel alright spending your money on a Belgian product? And so on.

I see a dilemma for many locals. Call them rednecks, good ole boys, NASCAR fans, whatever - there are going to be a lot of folks scratching their heads wondering what the hell they are going to drink now to support the USA. I think the big labels in America are all owned by international companies: Coors, Miller and now A-B. So I guess we're all going to be looking forward to that revamped Schlitz recipe with greater interest.

My suggestion to anyone is to support your local brewery; it doesn't get any more American than that! Calhoun's has more locations around Knoxville than anybody else I can think of. Woodruff Brewing Co. (a.k.a. Downtown Grill & Brewery) operates right downtown on Gay St. Both of them sell by the keg and smaller sampler sizes. Or check out the beer aisle next time you're in the grocery or gas station and look for some options. There are usually plenty of regional and national brands to choose from, depending on your area. Of course the likelihood of any true Bud drinker taking this leap of faith is highly unlikely. It would be like telling them Dale Jr. is going to the F-1 series and asking them to root for that quarr, Jeff Gordon.

The only real consequence I can see coming from this acquisition that no one else has mentioned is something any REAL American should be worried about: SOCCER! Lots and lots of advertising money spent on soccer. Except they'll probably try to push it as "football". Douche bags. I bet Beckham was involved somehow. Fuck soccer. In the ass. FOOTBALL is American. Soccer is what the rest of the world does to kill 3 hours and all they get is a riveting score of 1-0, ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh! You can't even have a score of 1-0 in football. Our teams score points while we drink and kill 8 - 12 hours at a time. That's right, we tailgate 4 hours, watch the game 4 hours, then celebrate/drown our sorrows another 4 hours. Take that Manchester U and Real Madrid. Real? Real boring if you ask me.

What am I trying to say? Hell, I have no idea, I'm rambling. In summary: Belgians buy Anheuser Busch = more soccer.