Wine Season

Just in case you haven't noticed, it's officially wine season.

Downtown Wine + Spirits FREE Tastings

Good new from Downtown Wine + Spirits: Free wine tasting, sort of.

According to their newsletter a new law now allows sampling events on site so you can try before you buy. This is pretty cool and makes perfect sense. If you haven't signed up for thier newsletter yet, you should. The weekly specials offer a variety of spirits or wine to choose from and they're often pretty good deals. I'm guessing other package stores will be offering similar events from now on so I say it's a win-win for everybody.

From DTWS newsletter:

Try Before You Buy



Fact: everyone loves free samples. Now thanks to a change in Tennessee's laws we can have in-store tastings. Like shoes, bikes, and used cars, you can now try out some wine before you purchase it. Stop by this Friday from 5 - 7 to try out a nice viognier from the Rhone region, a dry rose from Ventoux, and a juicy California red blend. We will have cheese and assorted goodies on hand to complement the libations, so come in and do a little sipping.


Free Tasting Friday 5 - 7pm

Last Minute Rossini

I’ve been looking forward to this weekend for over a month, yet I haven’t had time to compose a simple two minute blog entry to support Knoxville’s favorite street fair. Damn work, damn it to hell.


We talk about the same things each year: drinking in the streets, eating Italian sausages in the streets, going from bar to bar, causing a scene in the streets, and more drinking throughout the night. Guess what, it will be the same again this year. Sure, we’ll check out the vendors, we’ll run into friends we haven’t seen in a while, and possibly watch the live performances, but make no mistake – we’re there to drink and have a good time.

The weather forecast is 50-50 for rain. Big deal. I’ve been there on rainy days, scorching hot days and wintery cold-as-a-mf days. The weather hasn’t impacted my enjoyment one bit. Having the trifecta by mid-afternoon will make any occasion a good time. Cheers to another fun day downtown Knoxville!

Disturbing Trends in Dinner Prickery

So, this past weekend some members the group got the H out of dodge and pub crawled in a new town. There is something profoundly necessary about dealing with Holiday and impending winter related stress by taking one's shit on the road. A good rule is that at least one full day should be devoted to the crawl proper. Find a tasty Bloody Mary and then just go into the afternoon with an open mind. The details...such as those regarding our destination, fade into obscurity. Unnecessary even.

During these adventures, the mind often embraces its creative side. New things are tried, experimentation keeps everyone on their toes. Such was the setting for a Mackey-LVL contest of wills and livers.

The setting was a fine restaurant, where our group initially made reservations but always looking for the quickest way to continue the drinking(of course we started way before, don't judge us Puritan) we found a table in the lounge. Full service of course, or the victory is hollow. Time saved: 25 minutes from the initial reservation. We were victims of our own smug success, since we would have to slam our drinks seated.

To Mackey's initial surprise, I informed the server that we two gentlemen would need whisky shots-in a hurry. He didn't disappoint and those warm bastards arrived right before the salad.

LVL: 1, Mackey Nil. To be fair, I didn't enjoy the contrast in flavor either, but shit it had to be done. Pro-A strong opening move. Con-tasted like pain.

Not to be outdone, Mackey retaliates with a strong counter to the pre-salad bourbon: The mid-meal tequila. Nothing like chilled Patron to make you appreciate the next bite of prime rib or steak. The mouth is alternately confused and then grateful.

Pro-A devastating blow to my dinner morale. Con-sparks profanity in a setting unaccustomed to such prickery. LVL: 1, Mackey: 1. Push.

Final word? Neither of us want to go through that again. It was just pointless once everyone regained the faculty of civilized speech. No, I'll go further and admit it was a terrible idea. In summary, learn from the shitheaded behavior documented here. The lesson is that you should cockpunch your friends with a belt of Wild Turkey AFTER the last bite.

Tuesday

Yeah, so I've managed to acquire a bar globe. Nothing fancy, I didn't buy it airdrunk from Skymall or the Westerfield estate but it will serve in the beginning. Numerous early ideas about painting it like Unicron or the Death Star were bounced around. Like so much else, we just cut through the shit and accepted the status quo so as to get drinking "right damn now."



Not a particularly expensive or complex model, nonetheless the damn thing was lying in the motherfucking weeds and jumped up to wage hateful war against the group this last weekend! Much like Atlas and Mackey's dual kegerators that came before it the bourbon and vodka contained therein prosecuted our livers effectively. I am not confident of victory.

Drunken Jukebox 5 - Spill The Wine

In what has become a regular DK feature, behold the Drunken Jukebox: Music to Motivate Your Liver. A little bit country, a little bit rock ‘n roll, punk, rap and pop crap, old or new– all musical genres and periods are open for exploitation. Quarters and crisp dollar bills not required.

In support of Wine on The Water - Eric Burdon & War, Spill The Wine.




Updated version.

Quick Links

First up, check this out if you believe that Tennesseans should be able to buy wine from grocery stores. Pretty concerted website here, more directed and focused than previous efforts we've seen.

http://www.redwhiteandfood.com/


And now comes this bizarre and somewhat terrifying piece. I mean I've had some whisky that tasted like piss but come on...

http://boingboing.net/2010/09/04/whiskey-from-diabeti.html

Cool Wine Gimmick

A few weeks ago reader SKM sent a cool web link showing how to open a bottle of wine without a corkscrew. Leave it to the French to come up with a wine-drinking solution. The original video was on wimp.com but I found a version on YouTube that you can see below. Even better though is another wine opening technique I saw on the side bar that doesn’t quite go as planned. The second option is probably closer to how some of our group would go about things.



The other way:

Weekend (Drinking) Options

Pork Knox Q Fest – Has anyone heard about this BBQ competition at World’s Fair Park this weekend? (Note - this is the worst event name I've ever heard, just saying) I just saw them setting up yesterday and was immediately interested. Their website has all the details of this first-time event, although I thought we’ve had a couple of other Knoxville BBQ competitions over the years. I guess this is first one sponsored by the Disability Resource Center so that explains it. I’m sure it’s supporting a good cause so good luck to them and hopefully it will grow into a popular event.

The thing I’ve noticed about most BBQ contests is that you don’t usually have the opportunity to taste competition BBQ unless you’re on a team. Visitors are left to purchase food items from “outside” vendors who may or may not have high quality products, so it’s kind of a crap shoot. I understand that the teams cannot provide enough food for every guest but it has always been sad to know there is much better food available only a few feet away but it’s off limits. Oh well, my 2 cents. And most importantly I looked at the fair site and the website and did NOT see beer vendors set up so I hope that changes soon. You’ve got to have cold beer with some ‘que – no one denies this!

Rossini Festival – Ah yes, drinking in the streets. Rain or shine this will be the highlight of my weekend. We’ve talked about this event for years and we think it is one of the best outdoor events in Knoxville. Always fun and subject to bizarre behavior, you can always count on something noteworthy happening. Like the year I was kicked out of KRTI’s apartment for “touching his baseball glove”, or catching a glimpse of young, male adults having a caricature drawn of themselves, or drunken hookups/breakups, or being incoherently drunk by 5 PM but staying out ‘til 11 PM with 6+ hours of stories that you have to piece together via secondhand drunken accounts and pocket forensics. Plus the street vendors will have tasty Italian sausages. Ooof, I see a Sunday hangover in my future.

Latitude 35 Grand Opening – Word is that they will open Friday, 4/23. Despite the rainy weather this is a great opening weekend for them with lots of activity downtown to draw a crowd to the newest bar & restaurant on Market Square. I’m sure it will be mayhem while they get their act together during the grand opening but we’ll have plenty of opportunities to sample and review their place soon enough so expect updates within the next few weeks.

Enjoy the weekend folks, cheers!

Wine on the Water

This Friday I plan to attend my very first Wine on the Water fundraiser for Cystic Fibrosis at Volunteer Landing. Drinking for charity? Sign me up. I’m looking forward to good wine, food and hopefully nice weather during this early fall season. $50 - $60 gets you access to vendors from 6:30 – 9:30 p.m. and there will be live music performed by the Vibraslaps (also performing later that night at Preservation Pub). The price seems a bit steep but I believe it will be worthwhile. Obviously the money is going to charity and I think I can eat and drink enough in three hours to justify the expense. I heard they had a “gin tent” last year so I’m sure there will be a variety of adult beverages to sample besides wine. Details about tickets, parking, tasting stations, etc. can be found at the official website.

Vino would be keen-o

Lately, I've had a bit of a thing for drinking wine on a budget. Not that I'm that much of a tight ass, but there is a certain movement during this recession to find and imbibe some cheap wine.

When I was a dumbass college fucktard (rather than the overgrown childlike fucktard I am now) I went through a wine-snob phase neatly wedged between my first tequila phase and the so-called salad years known among the group as "pharmaceutical daze". We've talked before about the archaic wine laws that have handicapped appreciation of finer vintages locally...and in my college years we would eagerly buy bottles of anything flashy or shiny when on the road. It wasn't cheap.

Of course now I've had it all wrong...I should have enjoyed less costly wine in school and develop a taste for superior shit now that I can afford it. Feh.

Anyhoo, I've been swilling two red wines in particular. The first is the cheesy icon of Macaroni Grill, their red table wine...whored up as a Chianti.

The crayon is a nice touch...as is the venerated tumbler that the joint would give you. The entire experience reeked of novice drink. I can find this 1.5 of berry goodness at my local package store for less than nine American dollars(tax included). It's light and goes down in a hurry, provided you don't let Mackey butcher the cheap plastic 'cork' with a wine tool. Some cursory research has revealed that this wine is actually produced by the Navelle Vineyards, and that a boxed version under the name Almaden is available.

The second inexpensive wine I've been hooked on is the Hungarian product, Bull's Blood.

Bull's Blood will run you about 11-12 bucks for a standard 750ml bottle. Not exactly the volume I'm looking for(compared to the Chianti anyway) but it is a noticeably superior product. Every bottle of Bull's Blood I've ever consumed looks beat to hell, as if it was still being smuggled out of the Eastern Bloc circa 1968. Sure, that's complete bullshit but it gives a certain cachet to an otherwise pedestrian wine. Typically, you can find Bull's Blood coming in a couple or three dollars cheaper than a comparable red wine.

One bonus about both these brands is that I don't have that much of a hangover the next morning...while many wines have those hated sulfites, I'm happy to say that I can guzzle these without consequence. Even Mackey doesn't seem to notice, and he spends many a day recovering from a wine induced boozing, depicted thus:

My apologies to Bach for the telling illustration but you get the point.

So if you are looking for some cheap grape flavored drank, you could do worse than these two fuckers. Now, hand me more wine...I shall require it to finish.

Grocery Wine UPDATE

A couple of months ago we addressed the potential sale of wine in TN grocery stores. We now learn that the bill has been withdrawn from consideration by its author David Shepard. As such there will NOT be wine sales in TN grocery stores anytime soon, however that doesn't mean it won't be introduced next year, which in fact is exactly what will happen according to the author. So for now the package stores can breath a small sigh of relief before they're put to task facing the same battle again. The rest of us will have to maintain our current routine of multiple stops for our beer and wine/liquor purchases.

Damn.

Grocery Wine

The question is put before us again, as if it should even be a question at all. Do we want to allow wine sales in our grocery stores? Hell yes we do, and on Sundays too. Throw in the booze while you’re at it why don’t ya! Ok maybe not, but with genuine apologies to the liquor & wine store owners who will be affected if wine sales are permitted at the grocery, I believe we’re ready to move ahead. Let’s take a look at what we can look forward to if we get Grocery Wine:

Pros

• 2/3 shopping will be convenient. Beer, check. Wine, check. Booze? Sorry booze.
  
• Bulk pricing, right? Gimme a Two Buck Chuck! Charles Shaw y’all!
  
• They really better not fuck up the Sunday situation
  

Cons

• Diminished craft of the liquor & wine store
  
• More religious scows than you’re used to
  
• Cleanup on aisle 12, drunkard alert!
  

I’ve included a simple poll in the upper right section of the page. Let’s see if anyone reading DK is prudish enough to click “no”.

Some things that suck

Damn you Knoxville. Splash pads and fountains may play well with the average dolt of a citizen that blindly looks at parks and greenways on face value as signs of culture. Meanwhile, those of us with a basic understanding of filth and disease shake our heads in disgust. Since this sign was clearly a post-poop afterthought, no one in a position of authority dared think that degenerate parents would allow their Hellish drop to prance about non-treated water in diapers. Just fucking awful.



Damn you Fulmer. A common refrain these days in Big Orange Country, made all the more relevant given the lackluster victory over a lackluster opponent. The collapse of the college football season means ill tempers and a social epidemic of drinking away one's sorrows. Though we here believe in 'drinking our way through it' as described last week, it would be pleasant to have a reason to celebrate. Instead, the evenings following a UT game are not the festive events like they were during my college days. Saturday night was like a leper colony sans the hope.



Damn you wine hangover. Look, since the dawn of civilization and grape-stomping, people have grappled with the dehydrated headaches of drinking too much vino. Following last week's WOTW festival on the river, my head was pounding like a full-on artillery barrage. I've been to three of these things and nothing goes totally right for me. As an event, it's a great deal of fun. A varied selection of wine and food from local and regional vendors, plus its for charity so you can fool yourself that you are part of something better than swilling wine on Friday(which you would be doing anyway, drunkie).



Damn you Cleveland Browns fans.

Mother of God, look at this asshole. While I endorse pelting non-performers with rotten vegetables and C-cell batteries(similar damage to D batteries, but lighter) I cannot help wanting to become the biggest shill and program homer when faced with the likes of this 'fan'

Damn you local schmucks. While walking through the World's Fair Park Saturday I once again lamented the lack of a rocking bar in the former L&N. When I was a boy, it was the first place I really can remember people getting plastered. I wanted to be one of those patrons and eagerly looked forward to drinking there on my eighteenth birthday. Two things prevented me from doing so: The utterly capricious decision to bump the drinking age to twenty-one, and the asshole jerks that seem to have their fingers in everything. Sure, nothing escaped the financial turmoil after 82 down there, but gradually business and life has returned to the Park, be it in the Sunsphere or Convention Center. The meddling historic assholes and nebulous power players in this town can't agree on what to do with the place. It's a shame. Sitting on that enclosed patio looking over the Park would be a capital locale for casual boozing.

Come down to the Brewer's Jam this weekend and see if you agree about the L&N. Failing that, you can at least get some sweet beer action. That, at least, will not suck.

Alcohol Awareness

One of my favorite things about autumn in East Tennessee is that it seems to provide ample opportunities for drinking. Not that we don't drink a shitload of alcohol during the rest of the year, but in the fall, we seem to do it in groups a lot.

In fact, there are so many opportunities for Organized Boozing during the month of October, that I am hereby declaring it Knoxville Alcohol Awareness Month. Because, as I think everyone here would agree, it is important that we all be aware of the alcohol we are imbibing, or, at least, aware that we are imbibing alcohol. Whatever.

The following is a list of some of the alcohol-related events that I've heard about (and may or may not actually attend...depending on how drunk I've gotten beforehand); please feel free to add to the list by leaving a comment, if you know of something I've left out.

Friday, October 3rd: Wine on the Water.
For all of you winos out there, this is Knoxville's premier wine tasting event. Bonus: It's for charity. And who doesn't like to drink for charity.

Saturday, October 4th: Tennessee vs. Northern Illinois.
Is anyone actually going to the stadium for this game? No? Good, we can all meet at a bar and get drunk, as we watch the Vols attempt to actually win one.

Friday, October 10th: Cocktails in the Attic.
Hmmm...cocktails and an auction. Is this a bad idea? Better go and find out. Also, I love the L&N Station. It's such a neat and, in my opinion, underutilized building.

Saturday, October 11th: Brewers' Jam.
I don't need to say a lot about this event, as my colleague Tag Berauscht is doing a fucking miniseries on it. (Kidding, Tag! I'm loving your work so far.) I went to the BJ (hehe) last year and had a blast, so this year I'm just praying that we have good weather again. Because, World's Fair Park can be a bit of a mudpit when it rains.

Saturday, October 18th: Tennessee vs. Mississippi State.
At this point, the Vols are expected to have a 2-4 record. If that ain't an excuse to get together and drink (and boycott Fat Phil), then I don't know what is.

Sunday, October 19th: Hops and Hope 5K.
Let me get this straight: You run in a 5K, and at the end of it, you get to drink beer? Oh, I am so there. Unless, of course, I'm too hung over from the night before. It's a tough call.

Saturday, October 25th: Tennessee vs. Alabama.
One word: Belligerent.

Friday, October 31st: Halloween.
Okay, so I haven't actually listed a specific event here, but I'm sure there will be plenty to choose from. And, with Halloween finally on a decent day this year (the past three years, it was on Mon., Tues., and Wed., dammit), I might actually dress up. This will definitely be a fine night to cap off what looks to be an excellent month of drinking in Knoxville.

And with that...let the Organized Boozing begin!

Endorsement: Package Store

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Bar Review: Southern Graces Skybox

Not long ago, Mackey regaled us with his prescient skills and foretold the good news that the Sunsphere would be pushing booze. He has that ability apparently when it is booze related. He is Beeradamus. Anyway, the setting:

Last week we took the long elevator ride up to the bar. First one must be patient and take the elevator on the right...Number One. This will only happen after Number Two answers the call five times in a row. At least. By the time you get to the 4th floor you will have found yourself thirsty, needing to take a whiz, and utterly spent of small talk for the ride up. Feh.

ELEVATOR FLIES OPEN

Well, first off you see the bar itself. The best piece in the joint actually. All the little things in the area seem to be well decorated and crisp. The bar looks out over the Fort, and you can really see quite a ways up to the ridge. Same with the other side of downtown and south Knoxville. It's quite bright...swinging back over to The Compound, and UT...the Hill and Stadium are prominent.

It's really dark in here. Like makeout dark. Most folks are trying and failing miserably at any suitable pictures...yours truly no exception.

Some things were curious though. The service is still badly working out the kinks. The cocktail tables to the left of the bar are high tops, and when boozing you get a righteous case of vertigo if you aren't ready for it. That does fade though, and one gets use to the dark surroundings in a hurry to really appreciate the view.

It ain't cheap...no draft beers, wine and liquor are encouraged. I have no problem with either. Especially the latter.

I hope this enterprise can make it...given the logistic concerns, crowd management might be a problem. Then again, I can think of worse issues. Get your ass up there soon, in any case.

Review: Toasted Head Chardonnay

Not only do we not drink a ton of wine but even rarer that it be a chardonnay. That is why it gets a review, just to say we did it. This wine is what you get when you are label shopping for wine, I wasn’t looking at price tags just wanted to try something different, and it was. We were all grilling fish that night except Lord (ass), and this bottle looked interesting and chards are to be with fish said the snobs. Toasted Head is a California winery located in the beautiful farming county of Yolo, which is another way of saying we couldn’t afford land just west of us in a little county known as Napa. The name comes from toasting the heads of the barrels they age the wine in; I don’t care where the bear came from or its ability to breathe fire.
Their description goes as followed: Our Chardonnay leads with fresh, ripe pear and tropical fruit aromas that carry hints of mango and vanilla. The round, smooth palate features luscious stone fruit and tropical fruit flavors complemented by toasty oak tones. Characteristically round, smooth, and luscious, it culminates in a lingering, toasty-vanilla finish.
As usual their description is overdone, but that’s their job. I picked up on some of the fruit hints and defiantly the vanilla, but over all the wine was thin bodied and unfulfilling. Still drank every drop, but moved on quickly. Like I said; not much of a chardonnay drinker, so maybe this was better to some people than to me. Overall I will look past this wine next time but am still glad I got it, you never know till you drink it.

In Vino Veritas

It's been mentioned by Mackey that we went to a new(well new-ish) pub over the weekend. I've posted before that we write this blog for our own entertainment, primarily, and that holds true for one other aspect of Drinking Knoxville. It's a resource.

You the reader(who may now be counted in double digits, mayhap an even dozen) will get the straight dope on bars and pubs we frequent, or even the places we go intermittantly like some sort of wine-swilling diplomat. While you get this valued information and decide where to spend your filthy shekels, we are challenged to strike out from the comfortable barstools and tables where scores of servers and tenders of the bar refer to us as regulars. (Most of the time with hate in their beady, hopeless eyes.)

Together we will assault the bars and joints in this Brigadoon of a town...sparing you only the noxious reviews of franchised eateries and soul-murdering chain bars. They can eat a bowl of dick.

One more thing, if you are ever asked by a beautiful woman if she can sample your wine...don't be surprised when the hooker bitches at you when she spills it. It's an odd but universally held conception that no good deed goes unpunished.

Rossini Festival

Rossini Fest was held last weekend and as usual it was a blast. Since I accidentally discovered it a few years ago it has become an annual excuse to get plastered and stumble around the streets of downtown Knoxville. Opera, music, artists, yeah, yeah, yeah - point me to the beer and wine vendors! Now we're talking. That other stuff is all well and good but does anybody think it would be so successful without alcohol? Exactly.

A brief recap of the day:

Begin by front loading with Lord von Lord at my place. Walk downtown and notice bums taking bath in fountain at World's Fair Park. Stop at food vendor for delicious Italian sausage with marinara sauce. Meet King Randall the Insufferable downtown for drinks. It's KRTI's birthday - shots for everybody!

We're off to a good start. Continue drinking before heading to the streets for more drinks. Already feeling good and the trash talk is flowing. Have some wine and see someone I know in a compromising situation. Snap picture for evidence: 2 college guys having a caricature done - appalling! After we're done horse-laughing we continue to roam the street and decide to go to KRTI's for some reason, probably more drinks. First cigars for KRTI and LVL. Then on to the penthouse. Oh hell no, SCOTCH!!

Things just got worse from there. KRTI kicks us back out to the streets, apparently he had enough for the day - by 6:00. Have second Italian sausage of day. It is getting cooler and I head home for wardrobe change and return downtown for 2nd act. By this point we're crocked and meet up with the rest of the group to continue drinking.

Things get fuzzy at this point, but we did manage a full 12 hour drinking day and had tons of laughs throughout it all. Looking forward to doing it again next year.