What is best in life?

Crush your beer cans, see them stacked before you, and hear the lamentations of the sober.

**the cans of Stella, Lowenbrau and Coors Extra Gold are particularly excellent**

1947-2009

Although I was just a bit young for it, I'm told that this particular poster adorned every teenage boy's room and dorm in America. Iconic.

On the heels of Dom Deluise passing some months ago, I feel compelled to pay respects to another participant in my beloved Cannonball Run hall o' fame. Seeing her on Burt's arm was just as familiar as seeing her with Lee Majors or Ryan O'Neal. This guy...Mr...er...ah...um...Foyt, not so much.

Quick Question

In today's rough economic climate, inquiring minds need to know:

What's the best-tasting cheap beer?

Please leave a comment with your answer.

Great Drunks of the Silver Screen 8.0

I present to you: The McKenzie Brothers from Strange Brew

Technically, these two misfits were long-standing fixtures on SCTV and other assorted small screen stuff before the early 80's saw fit to give them a bawdy movie.

Strengths: Immune to tainted Canadian beers, bizarre amalgam of invulnerability and stupidity, Hosehead the Dog

Weaknesses: The criminal justice system, Canada, mortal foes of Max Von Sydow

Ah yes, these two lunatics...get a good look at them. Every generalization of Canadian misfits wrapped up in a brotherly package. These two are consummate beer-swillers, knocking them back like water at the end of their SCTV sketches and somehow parlaying that into a modest film cult following. Said film documents their borderline retarded rise from unemployed scam artists to duped employees of Elsinore Brewery, and the inevitable result of criminally insane incarceration.

Along the way, these assholes drink everything not nailed down. Without revealing too much of the 'plot' let's just say that Max Von Sydow's nefarious plans to contaminate beer with a potent suggestive chemical get tripped up by the heroic livers of the siblings. With the help of the equally insane dog, Hosehead, they topple the nefarious plans of Sydow and his henchmen.

Sweet Jesus, look at that prick. I would say this dog is well-trained and a cinematic jewel. In reality, he's probably just goddamn mean. Hosehead is equally immune to the contaminated beer and gains the ability to fly along the way.
Crude, crude editing. To make matters worse, could Toronto not be dropped from that scene? I'd be drunk and borderline insane having to live in that opaque neighborhood.

(a meeting of the minds and its a three-way tie)

Hell, the damn dog is more likable than either of these Great White Gumps. Still, I honor their powerful thirst and clearly inhuman livers.

Beer Review - Palma Louca

Every once in a while you stumble upon a rare quality find if you’re willing to take the risk and try something new. It doesn’t matter if it’s a new restaurant or some product at the supermarket, there are many good surprises out there just waiting to be discovered. Unfortunately, Palma Louca of Brasil isn’t one of them. The beer isn’t outright awful, but it isn’t that good either. I decided to try it when shopping for a night cap at the 13th Street Deli. It was overpriced at $11.69 a six-pack but as a late night convenience when I didn’t feel like going out it was better than going out to the bars so I gave it a try. Palma Louca a pilsner style beer that is very light in color and flavor with a slightly bitter finish. The problem is that it is too light and flavorless, and there didn’t seem to be much alcohol at all - I drank 5 without so much as a buzz, so that was disappointing. I’d classify it below most of the American macro brews but without as much taste, body or alcohol. I can see this being a good beer in the heat because it is so light and goes down easy, but for the cost it just doesn’t make sense to pay double the price of domestic beers that taste better and give you some chance of catching a buzz. In other words drink one if it is offered but do not spend any of your hard earned money on this stuff. The only exception would be if you happened to actually be in Brasil or South America where this was one of your only options.

Mixed Bag - New Shit

Hey fellow drunks, notice anything different here? I know that most (all 4) of you may be amazed to see change and progress from a boozing bunch of assholes, yet here we are. Check out the new, kick-ass header and mother-effin’ shield! That’s right, yeah. Admittedly this never would have happened without outside intervention from folks with viable skills and shit, but thanks to our Nashville-based and former Knox-villain buddy we have some new graphics.

Mr. Owl says “Oooo Oooo” to everybody.

We’re not the only refurbished show in town. The Hilton has a sleek, new paint job that looks great. I noticed the update a couple of weeks ago and took this photo:

I like the new look and think it stands apart from the other drab buildings on that block. I feel compelled to drink at the hotel bar, The Orange Martini, just for an opportunity to go in the hotel and let them know that people have noticed. That is also a low priority goal of mine, to drink in more hotel lounges downtown. I’ll see how that goes and will provide updates if it actually occurs.

Music

The Wailers performed last night at Sundown in the City and played the complete album “Exodus”. It was totally packed, more than I can remember seeing down there in a very long time. I walked through and listened just for a minute and they sounded great. This is the one show I should have planned to attend but I had pressing business at the bar and couldn’t spare an extra minute to enjoy the music.

Lt. Rocka hasn’t given us an update in a while so I’ll have to check with him to see what’s up. The Black Crowes are scheduled to play in September; I haven’t seen them in concert for at least 5 years now and don’t know if I’ll make an attempt to see them this time or not, but I would like to go if I can find another relic like myself to see my former favorite band.

Looking ahead

World’s Fair Park has been in the news as a potential site for a brand spanking new library, guess that is a perfect fit since all the homeless folks hang out there anyway, should make an easy commute from the bum table across the lawn to free air conditioning and computer access. Great.

Wimbledon – The Championships. The most prestigious tennis tournament in the world starts Monday and I am fired the fuck up. I hope to watch it on TV as much as possible and will listen online when I am at work. Check the scores, news and listen here.

News Flash! College Students Boozing!

Two little articles that should be shared today.

First from across the pond we have this expose or report about a debauched event at Cambridge.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2482111/Cambridge-students-vomit-and-collapse-after-wild-party.html

Read it if you want. Personally, I like The Sun. Of all the UK quasi-tabloids, I read it like a guilty pleasure. The pictures in this particular article are typical of what I saw back at UTK in the early and mid-90s. Nonetheless the tone is most disparaging and alarmist.

Couple that with this recent gem from Forbes:

http://www.forbes.com/feeds/hscout/2009/06/15/hscout628059.html?feed=rss_forbeslife_health

Again, read this propaganda piece if you want. See, most of Christendom has known about this (questionable) phenomena since time immemorial. Young people away from their parents get trashed and engage in outrageous behavior? No foolsies?

A more apt entry could have been found in your most recent copy of "No Fucking Shit Digest" or by word of mouth on any campus not founded by uptight religious folk. Even then, you'll find the little zealots getting tanked from time to time. You know what, those kids usually turn out okay for it as well. After all, JC was known to hang around some rough characters in the beginning.

The second piece in Forbes is quite familiar...because you see every five years or so some uptight "experts" bemoan the completely patriotic collegiate exercise of getting shit-housed and making very bad decisions. Said busybodies will then posit and offer all kinds of odious solutions that don't amount to jack-shit.

Here at DK, we try to keep our politics out of it...in fact, some of our stronger opinion is just that--and, like assholes we all have them(gauche phrase, but I'm rolling here) but this one time let me just say, fuck off nannies. Life is at times full of wonders both subtle and grotesque. It can be hard. It can be confusing. Once a person leaves home to get going on their own life, our recently acquired freedom will test us in many ways. Some will party hard and still manage to get a decent education. Others will make awful, shitty decisions that will forever screw up their life or someone elses. That is part of it, folks. Fate, or God, or Cthulhu, or whomever will cull the wheat from the chaff, and college is a part of that. Moreover, this activity is not restricted to the students...folks that choose another career path after high school are still quite capable of going on an epic bender. Veterans, tradesmen, barber college...you name it.

So drink on college students. Get written on, eat shitty food, pull your pants off, get arrested, nail that beastly troglodyte...whatever twirls your beanie. Just promise me that when you achieve a level of responsibility or position of power, that you won't turn into the hypocrite that dwells in all of us when our values are challenged by age.

/rant fucking over