Algonquin Round Table Mk III

Greetings all,

In another attempt at serious discussions on the important drinking issues facing today's imbibers, yours truly has convened a crack association of panelists. And when I emphasize serious, important, and crack you know I mean it. So today's Round Table consists of from my left:

Noted slacker and Slavophobe Russ Ziskey:

Russell Ziskey: Glad to be here LVL. Things are certainly looking up for me. After all, this is America. You can go from teaching immigrants such fantastic Anglo phrases as "Son of bitch" and "Shit" to raping across Eastern Europe in a Winnebago.

LVL: Rapine you say? Curious, don't you mean pillage?

RZ: No.

LVL: Next panelist is temporally displaced warrior Kyle Reese:

LVL: Welcome Kyle, how is working for Tech-Com these...er...ah future days?

Kyle Reese: What the fuck do you think? Being chased by asshole robotic minions and only rotgut shine to drink in a radioactive future?

LVL: But there is booze you say?

KR: Well yes, but that's not the point...

LVL: Hey, it's not my fault Skynet wiped out all the IPA in a nuclear first strike. Next up, a nasty from the pasty, renowned writer and sedate bisexual Oscar Wilde:

Oscar Wilde: Why hello genteelmen. Can I offer you some of the Green Fairy while we converse? Perhaps some cocaine as well?

RZ: Are you coming on to me sir? Because I'm not homosexual, but I am willing to learn.

LVL: Careful Russ. That will get you discharged, right Kyle?

KR: Not in the future. We need all able men and women to fight off these sober fuckers.

OW: Oh my. Are these stolid android androgynes some sort of neo-prohibitionists? How patently absurd.

KR: Well, they are prohibitionists in the strict sense that they want all of us dead, yes.

OW: When I matriculated, we called such boors Tories!

LVL: I bet you did, Frenchy.

OW: I am Irish sir.

LVL: We all know God hates the Irish, I don't blame you for leaving. Finally, last panelist today filling in at the last minute, let's give a literally giant applause for cosmic scourge and demipower:

Galactus!

LVL: Greetings big man, how's the air up there? Can you tell us just how many pints or shots you can knock back...you know, what with your immense size and tolerance? Wouldn't that make for some expensive nights out in the Sagittarian arm of the galaxy?

Galactus: BEHOLD INSECT!





LVL: Well that might do it for this installment of the Round Table. My fucking ears are bleeding and I'm thirsty.

KR: Holy fuck! It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until its dead!

RZ: I was just supposed to guard the truck! Well I got the shit kicked out of me in Wisconsin once. Forget it!

OW: So...Mr. Galactus, doing anything tonight?

LVL: This isn't going well.