(Not Knoxville)There was a time, not so long ago, that Mardi Gras stood out on my calendar as a great holiday drinking event that I planned for each year. I would make every attempt to get down New Orleans way come hell or high water. I’d drive 10 hours by myself if I had to, crash on friend’s sofas or floor and eat and drink like the fiend that I am. Most years it would be a few of us piled into a car with enough beer and booze for a small army speeding through Georgia, Alabama and Mississippi on our way to the Big Easy. One year we started in Baton Rouge and drank our way in. Bad behavior was expected and we didn’t disappoint. Some of the most embarrassing moments I’ve lived were during Mardi Gras and I’ve blacked out in New Orleans probably more than anywhere else on this planet. Occasionally we could even afford a decent meal of food but more often we spent our money on booze. Those were kick-ass days.
This year it totally snuck up on me. I just realized that Fat Tuesday was upon us. Knoxville doesn’t have much to offer in the way of celebrating this holiday, not that I’d expect much anyway. One thing I remember was a local jambalaya cook off held downtown but I don’t think they even do that anymore. I’m sure there is a bar party hosted by Miller Lite somewhere around town complete with beads, paper banners and horrible hurricane flavored beer (or is that Bud Light). Last weekend I witnessed the early stages of the 2nd annual Mardi Growl Parade. Great, a fucking dog parade complete with stupid animal/owner costumes and more dog shit everywhere. Excuse me, but I prefer human piss and defecation during my Mardi Gras reveling. The best part about this holiday for me is that I am not Catholic therefore I don’t have to give up anything for Lent. I will continue to drink the same way, day in and day out. Suckers.
And there was much defecation.
ReplyDeleteCybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past