New Year, Same Shit, + New Links = New Year Shit

Cheers everyone, we made it another year. My liver is now twice as aged as my body, which means at least part of me has become the dirty old man I've always wanted to be. For the record I've always been dirty, just waiting on the age part. Success!

If you've visited our blog at all during the past 1.5 years you know that change around here comes but once in a while. Luckily we had a friend provide some kick-ass graphic design, and believe it or not we occasionally get email from readers with questions, suggestions and requests. The main request we receive is from out-of-towners who don't know the bar scene who are looking for the local scoop, and after providing personal guidance and advice to these poor, lost sots I finally decided to add some new bar/restaurant links to help our new readers locate a place to swill beer, booze and wine. Take a look to the right and you'll notice a handful of new web links and they're even categorized by geographic location. That's amazing new shit for you! Never mind that north, south and east Knoxville are totally ignored. Maybe we'll get to that this year, but right now I'm heading to the bar. Allez!

Old Man Winter's Ass

Shit, it's been cold lately. Yes, even Knoxville is getting a taste of the winter lash and though we are not faring as poorly as those dipshit friends of ours in the frozen north(Vermont) and Midwest(Illinois) the mercury is pretty low. Drinking down here when the temps hit the teens is a pretty rare thing, so be sure you novice boozers to put on your juice jacket along with your real jacket and glug your way through it. Already we've put down several bottles of Bookers, Maker's, GJ, as well as dropping ranks of Jamesons and Tullamore Dew. It's not called the Whiskey Season for nothing.

Happy 2010

Lt. Rocka XIV Tracks

Start the year off with Lt. Rocka, download the latest here.

London Philharmonic Orchestra – Strauss (R): Also Sprach Zarathustra, Op. 30 – Opening
DJ/rupture – Winter Buds:Atki2
The Rolling Stones
Cold War Kids – Audience
The Walkmen – On The Water
Les Savy Sav – The Year Before the Year 2000
White Denim – Shake Shake Shake
Surfer Blood – Take It Easy
Phoenix – 1901 (live unplugged –> studio)
White Denim – Mirrored and Reversed
Volcano Choir – Island, IS
The Xx – Crystalized
Tom Petty
Smashing Pumpkins
Fabulous Thunderbirds
Simple Minds
Wilson Pickett
Jackie Wilson
The Temptations
Panda Bear

Last Minute New Year's Eve

If you’re anything like the rest of us around here you already know what doing on New Year’s Eve: Drinking. That doesn’t mean you know Where you’re drinking, just that you’ll be drinking somewhere. There are many ways to drink away the last night of the year, and below is a variety of last minute ideas to get you into 2010. (Sorry north, south and east Knoxville) Who knows, maybe we can all get together for that drink we’ve been talking about? Uh, no, I’ll be staying home watching the Vols and drinking bourbon. Feel free to comment on your plans or other options. Thanks to everyone for stopping by to check us out throughout the year. Here’s to more fun in 2010, cheers!

Downtown/Market Sq.
Club Le Conte – Society Only
Downtown Grill & Brewery – The rest of us
Le Parigo - Wonder if the duck was shipped in from Alsace?
Preservation Pub – Tiki party
Valarium & Cider House – VooDoo NY10 with downtown Hilton hotel package

The Old City
Barley’s Taproom – The usual, live music and good beer selection
Patrick Sullivan’s – Live music and the bar is open
The Crown & Goose – The Old City’s fanciest gastropub!
The Melting Pot – Someone tell Tony there’s a reservation on line 2.

The Strip
BAR Knoxville – Er, maybe not?
Tin Roof – UT Basketball, UT Football. Let’s face it, there’s no way you’re sober at midnight.
Level 10 – Short West

West Knoxville
Baker Peters Jazz Club – Damn that chicken entrée sounds delicious
Northshore Brasserie – Everything looks delicious
Paul’s Oasis – WTF
Ray’s ESG – Scarlett O’Harlot, where are you?

Great Drunks of the Silver Screen 11.0

Er...or the small screen in this case. Hey, and look here now-it's a woman this time. I give you:



Sue Ellen Ewing, Dallas socialite and dysfunctional alkie. Glug-glug.

Strengths: Vengeful bitch, partial owner of Ewing Oil, powerful liver

Weaknesses: Pisses her pants around JR, repeatedly.

During the late 70's and through the decade of excess known as the 80's many viewing starved Americans gathered round the old teevee and vegged out on some quality primetime soap operas. First among equals, Dallas was the place to be for my parents and their age group that didn't roll into the dungheaps of local bars. I don't remember everything about this program, but my mother would whip my ass if I talked outside a commerical break.

Anyhoo, Sue Ellen (as any viewer could tell you) dealt with her abusive and straying bastard of a husband JR by drinking anything shy of paint thinner. Though purists and fans will tell you she only became an dreaded alkie during the show's run, my much more awesome recollection puts her squarely in the back of iconic Southfork:






Soused 24/7 often rolling about in a nightgown-in the grass, falling in the pool, flipping cowshit, etc. That's the gist. Numerous intriques, business fuckery, petrowarfare, and animal husbandry all seemed secondary to Sue Ellen's emotional minefield of suspicion and abuse. Mark well this exchange in the famous who-shot-Jr arc:

Yes, quite the reasonable response indeed. These two have more horns on their heads than irradiated cattle and it makes for great tension. Continuing in this vein, JR uses his parents(who must have sinned terribly in their previous lives) to kick her ass.


Classic. High fucking drama for 1981. Or 1982. Those days tend to blur. JR goes on to tell our stoic and sauced heroine something along the lines of her being a terrible mother and a drunk. Everything else goes nuclear when he further threatens to send her to the booby hatch. If you look closely, JR does this scene with piece of bacon in his hand.

The fact that Sue Ellen was not in fact JR's assailant is a bona fide miracle. We can only point out that her self-destructive boozing prevented a coherent premeditated murder, which in and of itself is pretty odd on this program. Dallas was sorta confusing.

Guess Who's Back

Back again. Rocka’s back. Ok, that’s enough Eminem forever.


Lt. Rocka is back with Episode XIII, only eight months after episode XII debuted in March. Wow, that’s the kind of productivity we can relate to. Follow the link to download his unique blend of indie music, college radio, mash ups, and occasional words of wisdom. Enjoy this one on us, Merry Christmas!

1. Animal Collective – Leaf House
2. Medeski Martin and Wood – Let’s Go Everywhere
3. Miike Snow – Animal
4. Noah and the Whale – Blue Skies (Remix)
5. Spoon – Got Nuttin
6. White Denim – Regina Holding Hands
7. Lil Wayne – Banned From TV (Lane Kiffin Puffin Remix)
8. Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes – 40 Day Dream
9. Micachu and the Shapes – Golden Phone
10. The Soft Pack – Answer to Yourself
11. E-360 Jackson 5
12. Jackson 5 – Doctor My Eyes
13. Notorious BIG vs Michael Jackson – Rock With You
14. NWA vs The Outfield
15. Oasis – Shock of the Lightning
16. Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero
17. Chali 2Na – Comin Thru
18. TV on the Radio – Cryin
19. Phoenix – Listzomania
20. The Knux – Cappucino
21. Super Furry Animals – Inaugural Trams
22. The Strokes – you only live once

Rumor Mill

For weeks I’ve been meaning to generate some idle talk about an Old City grocery that will be opening soon. Distractions aside, the latest update I’ve heard is that things are progressing, though I’ve driven by several times and have yet to see any changes inside or out. The space is somewhere between the costume shop and Hannah’s on Central. Despite not knowing the actual address I have been inside the building with one of the co-owners and it is ideal for the concept he is going for. It’s not going to be any kind of chain or franchise establishment but more of a quaint, neighborhood style mini-grocery that carries staple items and hopefully beer. It will also have a deli menu, a couple of tables and bicycle delivery for limited areas. Of course all of this is subject to change. Keep your eyes open in 2010 for this little gem that just may fill a void that has been dogging downtown for a long time. Good luck!