Novelty Nostalgia

On the heels of Lord von Lord's tirade against the mix-pack I was reminded of some other gimmicks, novelties, etc. from the past that I haven't thought of in a while. Shit like this has been going on as long as people have been drinking. Surely the ancient Sumerians had some annoying asshole going around offering the latest crazee straw made of reeds, "Gets you drunk faster" he would claim. Well, we've come a long way, baby. Check these out:


Aw yeah, test tube shots! Remember these? Who knows when these were first introduced, I'm guessing the 1980's. When first introduced they were probably the coolest thing anyone had ever seen. Someone had a cool idea, perhaps a theme party. Maybe some students finishing med school decided to throw a bash and dress as mad scientists drinking wild concoctions out of test tubes. RAD!

At about the same time another party favorite was making the rounds at college dorms, high school house parties, and even military bases. I've heard that secrecy was the catalyst behind this novelty. Anywhere alcohol was not permitted would be a great place for this one, namely high school teenagers living with their parents, underage college students living in the dorms, and yes, even military personnel denied the right to keep booze in the barracks.

The Jello shot. Oh, what better way to conceal your booze right under the authorities noses than in the innocent, kid dessert known as J-E-L-L-O? Bill Cosby never knew it was heading this way. I was first introduced to this gimmick while stationed at A-school right out of boot camp in 1988. I was only 18 and didn't have a clue about this furtive practice. We had inspections often, and sure enough one time we were quizzed about the tub of jello stowed in the mini-fridge. Either our platoon leader was cutting us pukes a break, or he had absolutely no idea, but we sailed right through inspection. We were free to go out for the weekend and do some proper, underage drinking.



You still see these type drinks out in the bars from time to time, but not very often. Which is fine with me as I've moved past the gimmicks. I drink bourbon on the rocks now. I drink strong beer. I drink rich, red wine. But every now and then it doesn't hurt to revisit the past and take one of those stupid shots. C'mon, you know you want to.