Monday Hangover – Homecoming Edition

What a freaking cool Homecoming weekend! Totally awesome. Just so good to see everybody. The way we took it to those Cowboys from Wyoming, man I bet they don’t want to come back to Knoxville anytime soon. We showed them who the Vols really are and what Tennessee football is all about!! What’s that? Wait, it sounded like you said we LOST. Ha ha, good one. You’re such a kidder! I was there, I saw it myself…

/alarm clock rings

Damn, it’s Monday.

No Visible Wounds, No Jail Time
Despite the nightmare loss on Saturday things did go pretty well this Homecoming weekend when you consider that we had 2 arrests at Homecoming last year. Due to various reasons we had fewer alumni in town this weekend: hurricane clean up, travel to India, stuck in Utah, etc. So just having less people in town probably lowered our odds of trouble, but that doesn’t automatically prevent bodily harm. Once again I took a drunken stumble, though luckily I didn’t maim my face or draw blood this time. I’ve been told that on Friday night I was running down the street and took a tumble in some wet leaves. Apparently I didn’t account for the turn and went flying into the air, landed awkwardly on my wrist and ribs, and yes they hurt like heck when I breathe. So I’ve added yet another achy episode to the low-light reel while avoiding jail time. Nice!

It’s one thing to elude the authorities - friends and bartenders are a different story. They aren’t going to arrest you and lock you away, but they sure as hell will hold you guilty of drunken “crimes” and won't let you forget things as punishment. I mean, I really enjoy seeing someone a couple of days after a booze session and being reminded how F’d up I was when I last saw them. “You were there, of course I remember seeing you! Right after that 5th shot of _________”… Great.

Saturday & Sunday
What a farce of shit! We gathered our small group of visitors (Polish, the Big Woo, and V) at my pad along with Lord von Lord, Tag Berauscht and his frau for some pre-game drinks as usual. I fully expected to have a great afternoon of football. This was supposed to be the great send-off for Fulmer where the fans can show their respect and support for his lengthy, legendary career. Fast forward to the 2nd quarter when we’re trailing by two TDs, Crompton is on the field (fumble!) and I just lost it. The hat goes flying. An F-bomb is dropped. I angrily stormed out of the stadium clutching my broken hat and sulked all the way back home, alone. I knew our season was already farked in a big way but this put me over the edge. We may lose out the rest of the damn season!!

Needless to say we regroup, reload, and re-drink. Macleod’s is the place in the afternoon, then downtown again for the evening. Plus we made a visit to the Sunsphere Skybox for more bourbon, because we really needed it. The night went a little better than Friday, I think.

Sunday I spent most of the day hauling people to the airport. I could’ve made about $100 if I was a licensed taxi driver. We watched the NFL games all afternoon between shuttle trips to TYS. Polish and I ventured back out for some late night health food (wings, onion rings, Reubens, etc) and beer at OCI. The strip was so dead. Why wouldn’t anyone be out on a Sunday night after a homecoming loss to Wyoming? We went to the Roaming Gnome to see if it was any better; it wasn’t. Although one of the customers recognized me from Friday night and just had to say something: “Man, I saw you out Friday, you were so….”

Yes. Yes, I know. Damn

The Bird
So that was the weekend, ho hum. I’m glad to be back in the safety of my work environment where no one can send over a shot of Jagermeister or Goldschlager, or bring the handle of Maker’s Mark to me and force a gulp. Sometimes work is the best thing to happen on a Monday. And for those of you who thought I’d let the Monday Night Football game go unmentioned – fat chance.

The Bird (aka Arizona Cardinals) host the SF 49ers tonight and I’ll be watching on the big screen at my place whilst perched upon my kick-ass couch.

I’ve invited some friends to come over, and since it’s such a huge matchup and compelling storyline in the NFC west division I expect to have about zero people show up (It’s still the Cardinals after all) I'll talk to some of you fools in a little while...