City Improvements

Months ago we pointed out the city of Knoxville’s absurd signage at World’s Fair Park fountains. You remember the one about poop. Well, the city sure wasn’t about to let that snafu happen again. Future Knoxville parks will NOT be shat upon just because they didn’t post the specific rule forbidding it. I saw this sign at Volunteer Landing last weekend. Check out bullet point # 5

I like how it’s casually tucked in the middle of the rules: “no skateboarding, no vending, no shitting in the fountain, no grills…” Ok, thanks Knoxville. I’m glad we got that rule implemented for all of our parks just so unknowing parents and visitors know that we have standards. Some other rules they should consider:

• No murder (during park hours)


• No pan handling regardless of your missed bus, out of state job, booze, etc


• No Pan flutes - ever!


• No shirts/tops if you weigh over 300 lbs. (men only)


• Do not use the FREE doggie bags stationed around the park. Seriously, just leave all the dog crap where it falls. BUT DO NOT GO IN OUR FOUNTAINS WITH DIARRHEA - WE MEAN IT!