As many of you know by now, Mackey resides in close proximity to downtown and these events generally roll off his downtrodden back like fine port wine. Residents of downtown, the Fort et all were on hand for the run on Sunday but perhaps missed the chicanery on Saturday. There were little children all over the place! It was like a kid bomb exploded down there, with some events and music prior to their run/walk/nose-picking wanderlust. Their parents or guardians were trying like hell to herd them into the World's Fair Park and out of the damn water. After about three or four hours of that shit, you can really tell that most of the adults were ready for a stiff drink. Thus, to the point:
Mark ye well drunken Barney Gumble. While this crudely drawn Simpsons fixture is hardly the epitome of a functional drunk, we all know that he is a hell of a lot more fun when tanked. Look at the sober version of this beloved cartoon lush during his 'wagon days' 
What an asshole.
I'll grant you he's not indicative of the mostly fit and energetic people that I saw down there Saturday afternoon...which leads me to the author's involvement in this sorry tale. When Saturday's weather turned from expected misery to a pleasant day, those of us that counted on shitty temps immediately offered thanks by writing off responsibility and proceeded to get trashed in the afternoon. We stood in plain view with beer mugs, wine glasses, and finally the bourbon bottle to the jealous glances and baleful glares of frazzled parental units. Our voices were profane and quite, quite loud.
I really hope that some of those 'rents managed to get their ass in front of a margarita or Jagerbomb asap. You fucking earned it.
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