Alright listen up! You have been assigned to this unit for one thing and one thing only: Killing Nazis! Wait. Actually no, this isn’t an army unit at all. But we’re drunkerds and damn fine ones to boot. We’re in the drinkin’ business and business is good. You are hereby ordered to consume as much booze as possible – beer, liquor and wine – by any means necessary, day and night, week night or weekend, with or without companions. I want you to have running tabs at multiple bars. I want you to initiate pub crawls, with strangers if necessary. I want you to stay out late, drain your wallet, then cadge drinks from the unsuspecting. Then I want you to start fresh and do it all over the next day, as soon as you come to and find your bearings, hopefully without having to post bail. Got it? Good! Now go out there and consume that delicious, sweet alcohol that we all love so damn much. What? Don’t feel like it today? We do not have room for dandy-locks! If somebody wants to drink with Hitler (#13) that is simply unacceptable! Now get out there and start drinkin’!8.24.2009
Ineibriated Drunkerds
Alright listen up! You have been assigned to this unit for one thing and one thing only: Killing Nazis! Wait. Actually no, this isn’t an army unit at all. But we’re drunkerds and damn fine ones to boot. We’re in the drinkin’ business and business is good. You are hereby ordered to consume as much booze as possible – beer, liquor and wine – by any means necessary, day and night, week night or weekend, with or without companions. I want you to have running tabs at multiple bars. I want you to initiate pub crawls, with strangers if necessary. I want you to stay out late, drain your wallet, then cadge drinks from the unsuspecting. Then I want you to start fresh and do it all over the next day, as soon as you come to and find your bearings, hopefully without having to post bail. Got it? Good! Now go out there and consume that delicious, sweet alcohol that we all love so damn much. What? Don’t feel like it today? We do not have room for dandy-locks! If somebody wants to drink with Hitler (#13) that is simply unacceptable! Now get out there and start drinkin’!
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Well thank you, I was lacking proper motivation in the lull before kickoff.
ReplyDelete"40. It’s so much easier to ring up those old flames and explain exactly where they went wrong."
SKM
Ok, maybe I'm preaching to the choir here. Always glad to help.
ReplyDeleteIf the pigs were gathering in Vegas, I felt the drug culture should be represented as well. And there was a certain bent appeal in the notion of running a savage burn on one Las Vegas hotel, and then just wheeling across town and checking into another. Me and a thousand ranking cops from all over America. Why not? Move confidently into their midst.
ReplyDeleteskm