Absent with Absinthe

Ah yes...The Green Fairy, mysterious and enigmatic in its very appearance to be only surpassed by the intrique and half-baked bullshit that comes with it. I will assume that the reader has a basic understanding of the history of this...thing...so I will only give cursory background here. We all have heard of the Parisian and Bohemian culture of the late 19th and early 20th centuries virtually inhaling this shit to expand the consciousness, extend life, and offer artistic insight. The eccentric Van Gogh, sinister Alistair Crowley, and the effete yet genius Oscar Wilde were all reported to imbibe a metric fuck ton from time to time. (that time being from 12:00AM to 11:59PM) Tres chic.

As with most booze, absinthe was a favorite target of the so-called temperance movement and was consigned with regular beer, wine, and liquor to relative obscurity during the 1900's. Such a campaign was made easier in the States, far from the original Swiss and French regions whence it came. It was maligned so much during this period that calumny still dogs it to this day. Wormwood and thujone conjured up images of insanity, and the high alcohol content was sufficient to keep the uptight religious folks on its green ass.

Here's the modern view: This stuff is fine for novelty drinking, but tastes pretty rough. There is a procedure to drinking absinthe, illustrated thus:

Some years ago, we ordered some absinthe from Alsace and had it shipped over...under the impression that the vileness found here was the product of American booze laws and thus not worth the effort. We opted to order from France, given that most of the other suppliers were from the Eastern European states and God only knows what foulness resides in that product(see: Slivovitz). Usually included is a snazzy spoon, by which water is poured over sugar into the glass. What results is a chalky green solution that will test your stamina and resolve. No hallucinations, although the high alcoholic content will fuck you up...big time. In fact, what we noticed the most was not a 'high' but a really wicked drunk that belies the lethargy that comes with such an undignified state.

In short, we can only endorse this product for novelty consumption. It's too much of a pain otherwise. The really cool thing about absinthe is the art that it has 'inspired' over the years...a tribute to its origins, and an example of the lamentable influence of temperance bastards the world over that have moderated such esoteric libations.

I mean, look at the absurdity of a cat drinking this stuff. Can't make that up on a straight and sober mind. Feh.