The Lost Art of the Pub Crawl

This purloined picture kicks ass, no?

Following on today's post regarding the legal drinking age and returning collegians, I began thinking about the time honored tradition of pub crawls. Generally, this could be a garden variety post that is not remarkable in the larger sense. Specifically though for Knoxville, it gets a little complex. (What a fucking surprise)

You see, back in the 1990's Knoxville and Knox County apparently didn't get the memo on urban sprawl. I'll spare you the noxious and overly technical accusations about finger annexations, zoning and the like and just say that this town isn't friendly to pub crawlers as a whole. Last Christmas, during the heyday of Whiskey Season the authors and some friends decided to resurrect this fun practice. It was okay, but failed to really achieve the goal of at least ten bars. We had a good crowd, but that sort of works against you when pubs are cloistered in regions that require either a driver, cab, or transportation other than one's feet. If you want to start way out west and work your way into downtown or the Old City, then pack a lunch and good fucking luck.

While waxing idiotic on my college days in the early/mid 90's I can remember getting close to twenty degenerate power drinkers and floozies together on the Strip and moving westward. Vintage bars like Hawkeyes, The Roman Room, Out-of-Bounds, Spicys(the very first one), The Lap, The Library, O'Chucks, Ruby Tuesdays(again, the first one before the chain sucked), Tap Room...all would be hit before ending up at OCI's. Those were the days. First, if you could stand at the bar you would get served...none of this pussified carding shit the law has now screwed us with(eat shit teenagers) and you could walk to each of them. These days, Knoxville is set up with little cliques and fiefdoms in sections of town that rarely interact with one another. It's provincial.

This really isn't a problem in other places, so I confess a bit of jealousy there. The good people at http://www.yourpubcrawl.com/ for example, can set you up with a nominal drinking tour of Edinburgh.

Not bad. I am sure other resources similar to this one are out there. Personally though, I just think that these things are best done by word of mouth, so motivation and a powerful sense of guile are needed. Grab a group of thirsty bastards and descend on several local bars like a MIRV:

If you do it correctly, you should leave the various bars in a similar state...that is to say, radioactive and utterly uninhabitable.

As football season nears along with the Whiskey Season, I encourage each of you to reclaim your honor by hitting every bar you can within one courageous night.