You took too much, too much

Thank you Dr. Gonzo, I'll take it from here.

This is what is currently pissing me off: The proliferation of flavored Stolis at the bar...Hell, at ANY bar these days.

Okay Ivan, enough is enough. Since you red bastards are dead set on starting a new cold war(how did the last one work out for you destitute fucks?) let me send some words back your way across the Fulda Gap. I realize that vodka has long been your backwards nation's one contribution to this world but if I might invoke some symbolism from Catherine, this shit is more than we can chew. Or drink.

Yeah, Stoli was much cooler when I was younger...I mean my junior and senior years of high school were tepid encounters with Popov and Smirnoff right after first period. Occasionally we would find ourselves knocking back Absolut or Stoli on the lake during the latter months of the year, and Stoli was the counterculture choice to the relatively chic' Absolut during those halycon days. It was a clear choice for college...until that fateful day when I realized I could quaff bourbon and whiskey with impunity.

I admit, vodka related items slipped my mind. Oh sure, I remember the debut of Skyy...or the first time I saw Belvedere and Grey Goose on the shelves at 640...the claims of filtered Svedka being almost as good. I even have vague memories of when Absolut first introduced Peppar and the much despised Citron.

Now, it is all you can fucking do at a bar to see anything other than the ubiquitous Stoli family lined from one end to the other. Jesus, is there really this much need for slightly flavored esoteric vodka? Have we completely lost our ability to make a drink in the standard way?

I'd like to line these fucking things up against a wall.